I wonder why.....

Mystery5 · Jun 4, 2005

But, I think on a forum such as this, this type of thread is for the purpose of validating one's perceptions in a safe venue, getting feedback anonymously, and getting one's beef off of one's chest.:)

KayceeLeeRN, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2005

I wonder why that on the boards, threads that are started with a negative twist (eg: new grads with attitude; the good/bad/ugly of US's; catty nurses; nurses who shouldn't be nurses) grow to multiple pages while threads with a positive twist (eg: amazing stories in nursing; why choose nursing; high school inquiries; etc) fall to the bottom of our screens with hardly a whisper.
Seems like we always have something to say or an opinion about something bad, but nary a positive thought or opinion related to what is good.
The repetitiveness of negativity is very disheartening. Those threads really bother me. Am I alone?
Any thoughts on that?

I agree with you. I'm actually hesitant to post most of time bc I've seen some of the theads and opinions FLY around here!

begalli · Jun 4, 2005

If you don't like it, don't read it. But I don't think it's fair to try to control what other people do or don't talk about just because it bothers you.

I usually don't read it, but sometimes I do out of curiosity.

Honestly, I just don't see the point in posting comments or starting a thread in which it's only purpose is to complain about or cut down other people who, more than likely, are not here to defend themselves and tell their side of the story. I guess I'm referring specifically to the most recent new grad thread.

And btw, I have no intention of trying to "control" anything. I stated that it was just my observation and thanks for the replies. I'm not saying don't express yourself, but I would expect that you would accept me expressing myself as well.

Anyway...

Mystery5 · Jun 4, 2005

I usually don't read it, but sometimes I do out of curiosity.
Honestly, I just don't see the point in posting comments or starting a thread in which it's only purpose is to complain about or cut down other people who, more than likely, are not here to defend themselves and tell their side of the story. I guess I'm referring specifically to the most recent new grad thread.
And btw, I have no intention of trying to "control" anything. I stated that it was just my observation and thanks for the replies. I'm not saying don't express yourself, but I would expect that you would accept me expressing myself as well.
Anyway...

Dear begalli,

Since I'm the one who started the New Grad thread, I think I'll respond.

First of all, what's wrong with New Grads seeing some honest feedback on some possible negative behaviours that might not go over too well as they enter the workplace? This is a perfect place for it, since in real life people generally aren't prone to stating their real feelings openly, but instead resort to other means in order to make their point.

When a new grad goes into nursing with arrogence and disrespect towards established nurses, it might end up backfiring on them. The established nurses might give them a hard time, nitpicking their budding practise. But, if they read some of the experiences of seasoned nurses on my thread, maybe they'll temper their overly enthusiastic tendencies, and make the transition easier on everyone.

Secondly, I think it's a little disingenuious to start a negative thread like this that is merely complaining about other threads that you perceive as negative. It really serves no purpose in my mind, except to voice your negative opinion about threads that other people enjoy.

We work in a stressful job, and for some people having a safety valve such as this is a positive way to blow off steam. It'd be a shame if the ability to do that is shut down by a few complainers. Hopefully, the moderation has the wisdom to prevent that from happening.:)

leslie :-D · Jun 4, 2005

Most of these "negative" posts are issues in the workplace for a lot of people. If you read those threads, there is some positive input on how to turn the problem around, or deal effectively with other people. Ignoring things doesn't make them go away.
If you don't like it, don't read it. But I don't think it's fair to try to control what other people do or don't talk about just because it bothers you.

in all fairness, i did not perceive op as trying to control the types of threads that should/should not be posted.

i saw it merely as an observation on her part; and it's true....the threads that encompass frustrating nsg issues, are the ones that elicit a variety of responses. and there is much to vent about as there is a plethora of predicaments that nurses face qd.

i don't care for some of the responses that appear disrespectful.

and yes, there have been trolls and flames here and there.

but for the most part, if one is receptive, there is much insight to be gained and if there's anything i've learned through these threads, is agreeing to disagree and has taught me tolerance.

yet if we can't vent about very real nsg problems on this bb, then who are we going to share our frustrations with?

there have been threads that i strongly disagreed with various posts but in the end, and after much introspection, i ended up seeing their pov.

i think it's necessary to talk about the various aspects of our profession; and it's not all positive. we, collectively, work ourselves to the bone and get little respect, recognition or acknowledgement. there are very valid reasons on why such threads exist.

what these volatile threads lack sometimes, is professional debating. some can get pretty rude. if we could banter w/o getting personal, then i think there would be much more receptivity to understanding and respecting one another.

leslie

begalli · Jun 4, 2005

Thank you everyone!

This site continues to open my eyes.

Mystery - I appreciate your reply. :)

earle58 (leslie) - Thank you for posting...thank you so much!

I will take all of this and really think about it. I, in no way, shape, or form wish to offend anyone or cause ill-feelings. We all deal with things in our own way and I've always been one to address what I perceive to be bad with with good....if that makes sense - even with difficult people. Sometimes it backfires though because not everyone thinks the same and may read it wrong. I don't know if it's a type of passive-aggressive behavior I might have, but even at my age, I'm still learning about myself.

Peace to all.

pricklypear · Jun 4, 2005

And btw, I have no intention of trying to "control" anything. I stated that it was just my observation and thanks for the replies. I'm not saying don't express yourself, but I would expect that you would accept me expressing myself as well.
Anyway...

You're right, I was harsh in accusing you of trying to control what subjects are and aren't talked about. I apologize. I guess I'm just irritated that your post makes it seem like all we do is complain. There is some complaining/venting here, but I think it's balanced with postitive threads. Nursing isn't all positive and happy. Where else are we going to vent our frustrations? Work obviously isn't the place to do it. My husband gets glassy-eyed and stares into space if I have some story about work. At least in this setting, people can choose to participate or not. And most of the time the controversial threads really get me thinking - sometimes differently than I had before. Someone mentioned validation - that is important, too. Sometimes all we need is someone to say, "I understand! I had the same problem - here's what I did"

I just have to repeat - ignoring problems will not make them go away. We all want nursing to grow and improve. It's been hard overcoming old-fashioned perceptions, myths, tired cliches (like nurses eating their young). I think we need to get some of this stuff out into the open and clean it up - or it will continue to fester. We can take the negative and try to turn it around - explore solutions, try to understand why the other person feels the way they do, encourage proactivity (is that even a word?) instead of negativity. We might change their mind, or they might change ours.

mysticalwaters1 · Jun 4, 2005

You know I found something about my self. I allways complain!!! It's a trait at work I'm trying to stop and try to understand is it complaining or venting and if venting joke with it but be sincere about it and not be an indirect do something complaint (yes i'm passive aggressive and finding i hold things in too much then burst or secrectly think of revenge at times, ok that bit much, brings me to my next trait or low self esteem!). I wanted to stop becase it drove me nuts when other people CONSISTANTLY did it to me. I've also learned to never go to the next shift: oh it's so horrible tonight you're going to have an awful time, ect...... I mean I may smile but casually go in relaxed into report THEN forwarn it may be tough but definitly don't get dramatic.

I think eveyone needs to vent but I had to stop comming her for several weeks just because I got caught up all in the negative. I need to shape up. What happens I get home from work don't want to read see or do anything nurse related which is bad i'm trying to review all my medsurg stuff to try icu and can't get motivated to look at stuff!!! I did get the book chicken soup for the nurses soul and try to use that when I have had bad days to motivate myself. However i cry every story regaurdless if sad or happy! And also i haven't been doing it lately guess i need to get back to it!

lil' girl, LPN · Jun 4, 2005

Begalli you have a right to your questions just the same as all of us do. As long as you aren't belittling to anyone else you have the right to post what is on your mind. Asking a question is not trying to control, it is simply inquiring. As I said before I believe people just like to vent their frustrations. Just a little healthly letting go when there is no one else to listen. I still agree that we need to post to the positive also!

SmilingBluEyes · Jun 5, 2005

I guess I don't get your beef. There are plenty of threads that are positive and uplifting. People come here as a safe place to "vent". If you are discouraged by "negative" thread, I have a couple of suggestions for you:

1. start a some positive threads of your own, and frequently.

2. visit the nursing humor threads or other such places-------or the welcome forum. There is not a lot of negativity there.

3. ignore those threads with a title that annoys, upsets, or gives you a negative vibe.

4. take a break from the internet and the boards altogether for several days....refresh your real life. this is what i do when I am feeling annoyed, negative or upset about things here. real life must not be affected by the internet world!

Let those who want to, vent and gripe to their heart's content. it's cheap and effective therapy for some of us. And remember: You have a choice not to go there. Like Steph says, "bad news sells".....spread some good of your own or ignore the bad you do see.

Live and let live. And enjoy life. :)

GrnHonu99, RN · Jun 5, 2005

I just wanted to say, I enjoy this site, but I take it for what it is worth. I read the things that make me happy and I dont read the things that don't make me happy. I moved back to my hometown last fall after I graduated from college...I really dont have any friends here anymore and so the only people I have to interact with are my fiencee, my family and my friends on the phone/internet. I have my friends in nursing school but sometimes when you want to vent it just seems like no one understands what you are going through.

I can always rest assured that no matter what problem I am having or will have, someone here has been through it or is going through it. I know that no matter what I need someone here will have some imput..good or bad!

On starting negative posts..well sometimes it just feels good to get that "beef" as we are all calling it (lol) off your chest...most of the time good comes out of negative threads! I am a student and I have to say the thread on know it all new grads, or students, or whatever the thread was, really opened my eyes....now when I go to clinical I am going to have that in the back of my mind..im so glad people here post things like that bc I, as a student am taking this all in...lol...i like reading about seasoned nurses gripes so that I know what NOT to do or what TO do...this is like my virtual clinical...lol

on the other hand, I do agree somewhat, there are those certain threads here that just head in a bad direction..those are the threads I just choose not to visit again...usually those are the ones that end up getting closed.

Balance is what its all about..good and bad...:)

SmilingBluEyes · Jun 5, 2005

I think the majority of what I get here is VERY positive. This is a great site.