I am the wife of a male student nurse and having trouble coping.

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Hello, I am the wife of a male student Nurse. He is about to finish his first month of school and we have had about 2 to 3 arguments since he started. We have been married 7 yrs and we had never argued like we argue now. I know that it is a demanding program, but my question is, does he have to spend every moment studying and not make time for me and our 2 children? I tell him to give us at least a couple of hours a week of his time but he refuses and rather be at the library or at school. I don't think I ask for much. I have been supportive and understanding but i do get frustrated and upset because I feel he has neglected us. And I don't know if i can go 2 yrs without a date night or a family night. Has anyone else gone through this? And what did they do to get through it? Thank you.

My husband is very smart. He finish his pre reqs. with ALL "A" and i am starting to understand with so many comments that maybe that is why he is stressing because he has pass his last 4 test, 2 with an A and 1 C and 1 B. They told him at the orientation to be happy with your Cs as long as you pass, but he insists that he wants nothing but As :(

I don't think people realize how hard nursing school is until they've been there themselves. People who made straight A's in their pre-reqs can struggle through nursing school. Test can be ridiculously hard. Every answer is correct but you have to find the MOST correct. In most nursing programs, at least in my state, an F is anything below a 75. It's not like pre-refs where you can make a 73 in a class and progress on.

Everyone learns differently. It's great that some of these people were able to work full time and still have time to study and hang out with friends. Not everyone can do that. Some people need more study time. Some people need a quiet place to study and the house isn't it. I think if you do go on to nursing school and see what it's like, you may understand a little better where he is coming from.

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Specializes in Mental Health Nursing.
He said he doesn't want me to have any contact with his school, classmates or members of any kind. Which there alone brought up my jelousy streak. I am not a jelous person but when your husband tells you that, it brings up things. I know in my heart that he will never do any of that to me but he is saying things that look bad lol... He's not giving me any leverage here. I can't see him, i am not allowed to communicate with his classmates, i can't compromise, i am just suppose to sit on the sideline and watch.

:facepalm:

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quote mcclenan, Hugs and thank you for your story.

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Specializes in Primary Care, Progressive Care.
My husband is very smart. He finish his pre reqs. with ALL "A" and i am starting to understand with so many comments that maybe that is why he is stressing because he has pass his last 4 test, 2 with an A and 1 C and 1 B. They told him at the orientation to be happy with your Cs as long as you pass, but he insists that he wants nothing but As :(

YUP! A grade of a C always makes me worried back then... especially the harder classes like patho, med surg, or pharm. They look at these grades when applying for grad school. I just wanted to pass during my BSN days. Now that i am in grad school, i get depressed when I get a B... i wanna have As in all of my classes! LOL. I am just trying to say that some people get very meticulous when it comes to grades. But not everyone is the same. Like i said, i can rationalize your husband's behavior (re: nursing school). Some nurses are perfectionists =) Sometimes we have to be... and that's not a bad thing.

Listen, take my advice or not. Refrain from focusing on your husband ALL the time. Take a hobby or go somewhere you and your kids would enjoy, even without him being there. Meet with friends who have kids. Be patient... this is difficult i know. I am sure he will miss hanging out with you. Just try not to complain all the time and focus on yourself and the kids. This situation is HARD, reminds me of what military wives have to go through all the time. Try not to cook him meals, do his laundry, prepare uniform, etc ALL the time. This could be the reason why you are feeling neglected or feeling like life is not fair. Focus on yourself, find something that will make you or your children happy.

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I don't know how to quote here i am sorry, i am new to this website. All i do is press the reply button.

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
I don't know how to quote here i am sorry, i am new to this website. All i do is press the reply button.

If you are on the full site, the quote button is right next to the reply button.

If you are on the mobile app, tapping the post will bring up several options, quote being one of them (may require tapping more first).

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Specializes in CCM, PHN.
I don't know how to quote here i am sorry, i am new to this website. All i do is press the reply button.

Press the quote button instead.

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Specializes in CCM, PHN.
quote mcclenan, Hugs and thank you for your story.

That's very sweet but I don't want hugs as much as I want you to tell me you understand some of the issues I brought up and that you'll think about it, and what it means. Okay? I so don't want you to end up the way I did.

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(((Hugs)))

ok I had to log into my computer to see the quote button. Thank you and Hugs. Thank you for sharing your story

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If you are on the full site, the quote button is right next to the reply button. If you are on the mobile app, tapping the post will bring up several options, quote being one of them (may require tapping more first).

ok i found it but had to log in from my computer. Thank you

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That's very sweet but I don't want hugs as much as I want you to tell me you understand some of the issues I brought up and that you'll think about it, and what it means. Okay? I so don't want you to end up the way I did.

Yes I understand the issues and now it makes me a little nervous on how he is acting. I am trying and will try my best to be patient and supportive. I just think it's to soon to get all worked up. I am going to see how the next couple of months go. He actually called me just right now from work and told me how he was thinking about what I told him about managing his scheduled. He said he was going to show me his schedule tonight for next month and that we were going to try to come up with a solution because he does want to include me. That made me feel like a ton has been lifted from my chest for now :)

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Are you positive he's actually attending school?

lol...:laugh: yes. I just don't know why he has did attitude where he wants to separate us from his school. He said to me that if I would know everything that goes on in the school that I couldn't handle it and that I would get jealous. I was like really? your making me more scare now lol... He said a lot of females ask for his number and email which he did gave to them and he told me to expect woman texting him lol... I was like, "hey, as long as it is school related I am fine with it."

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