I am the wife of a male student nurse and having trouble coping.

Nurses Stress 101

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Hello, I am the wife of a male student Nurse. He is about to finish his first month of school and we have had about 2 to 3 arguments since he started. We have been married 7 yrs and we had never argued like we argue now. I know that it is a demanding program, but my question is, does he have to spend every moment studying and not make time for me and our 2 children? I tell him to give us at least a couple of hours a week of his time but he refuses and rather be at the library or at school. I don't think I ask for much. I have been supportive and understanding but i do get frustrated and upset because I feel he has neglected us. And I don't know if i can go 2 yrs without a date night or a family night. Has anyone else gone through this? And what did they do to get through it? Thank you.

Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

I am impressed this thread has gotten to 200 comments. This must be the most bizarre nursing school the OP's husband goes to, period.

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I am impressed this thread has gotten to 200 comments. This must be the most bizarre nursing school the OP's husband goes to, period.

lol...:yes:

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theotherone, you were able to be approved for, find, and get an appointment for a therapist in fewer than four weeks? And that's after an alleged problem developed, which would be at least a week, which makes all this happen in fewer than three weeks?

I think Allnurses is getting catfished.

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theotherone, you were able to be approved for, find, and get an appointment for a therapist in fewer than four weeks? And that's after an alleged problem developed, which would be at least a week, which makes all this happen in fewer than three weeks?

I think Allnurses is getting catfished.

Why is that so surprising? I called in to a therapist office. They ask how I would be paying? I told them cash and they set me up with a therapist 4 days after. What is so surprising about that? Why would I need to get approve to see a counselor? I don't understand.

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Why is that so surprising? I called in to a therapist office. They ask how I would be paying? I told them cash and they set me up with a therapist 4 days after. What is so surprising about that? Why would I need to get approve to see a counselor? I don't understand.

Because getting in to see someone in less than a month usually takes an act of God. 4 days after is just out and out ridiculous. You won the therapist lottery.

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I just graduated from nursing school in December. All of my corequisite courses (e.g. A&P, Micro, Chem, and other non-nursing courses) were completed prior to my entering nursing school in my Bachelor's degree, so I was only considered a 1/2 time student. I do not know if your husband is a nursing only student or if he is also taking other courses with nursing classes, but I can tell you nursing school was one of the most difficult things I have ever done - even as a part time student. I'm not a bad or struggling student. Here's why:

Nursing school isn't quite like other degrees. As a nursing student, you are responsible for everything you learn from day one until the end of the program - not just until you dump your brain on the test. In addition, different people can pass with varying levels of knowledge - to a point. Nonetheless, some people study more than others, because we want to be excellent nurses, because they don't want to be the one who permits harm or worse yet, causes harm to a patient. There is a tremendous burden to understand and apply the knowledge and to keep learning.

My gut is telling me your husband is not suddenly neglecting you because he wants to. Library study times and study groups are the norm in nursing school. I'm surprised our school's library didn't have its own wing dedicated to nursing students. The successful nursing student has an excellent (but weary and worn out and often neglected) support system behind them by the time they graduate. They have little to no social life and family time suffers severely. The promise at the end is a career that supports families, and can be incredibly rewarding.

Having said all that, I also have advice for your husband. Nursing students need a reminder that studying TOO long can cause your brain to just check out. I suggest to your husband that he practice on studying in digestible pieces. Study, walk away, study, walk away - repeat. More of what you take in tends to stick. It takes a while to get the hang of it. I did big tweaking of my study habits for the first two semesters of nursing school and still made smaller adjustments through to graduation.

Hang in there and well wishes to all of you.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

At this point, we will close this thread. We wish the OP the best.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

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