I want to be a RN but don't want to deal, with you know...

Nurses General Nursing

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I want to become a RN but Im not really into the death/dying part.Is it wrong of me to feel this way ? What happens if a patient dies in your hands ? What happens next ? Who deals with the body ? Also,how many of you guys ever dealt with a situation like this ?

Specializes in LTC.
I also wanted to add, the feeling of accomplishment and reward from the very first time a family member tells you "Thank you for being there for my Mom, you can never know how much it means that she didn't have to be alone in her last dying breaths", it will have been worth it. It gives you a tremendous sense of pride that you sometimes don't get all to often in nursing.. It makes you remember WHY you wanted to be a nurse in the first place, you wanted to make a difference, a positive impact on someone's life, and you did. :redbeathe

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatric, Hospice.
Bodies aren't going anywhere. Bodies are composed of organ systems which are composed of organs which are composed of tissues which are composed of cells which are composed of organelles which are composed of molecules which are composed of atoms (that have mass) which are composed of energy (E=mc2 anyone?) One of the fundamental laws of physics is that energy is neither created nor destroyed. In that sense the "body" always was in existence and always will be in existence.

Problem is you have to be really good at abstract thought to think like this and/or completely nuts.

:redbeathe The law of conservation of energy and 1st Law of Thermodynamics! Energy is constant, neither created or destroyed.

Scott, this is EXACTLY how I think as well! I find many people don't understand it.. don't find it comforting. We are organic beings, just because we aren't in our 'original' form of flesh and blood, doesn't mean we are gone. We are just changed or transformed, just as something had to be changed or transformed for us to be created in the first place.

When I die, bury me un-embalmed in the ground, and plant a tree over me. I will then become the nutrients in the soil, the grass, the sustenance for that tree to go for 100 years. Birds can even nest there too :) I've always loved birds!

Just because someone's body is gone, doesn't mean they are. I'm not going to venture as far to say that souls exist (because I simply don't know), but their energy is simply re-purposed into other life forms.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatric, Hospice.
Post of the day.

Thank you! That feeling doesn't come too often, but I do feel honored to care for someone in their last dying days, especially when I knew them when they were 'living' so I've already established rapport and a relationship with them, I know I can help them feel as safe and comfortable as possible.

It must be why so many hospice nurses LOVE their jobs, it must be one of the ultimate rewarding careers but you'd never think at first glance that it would be. I've really been considering doing hospice...

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A friend of mine who is a hospice nurse told me that she finds the work very rewarding, after I asked if it was hard or depressing to work with/for people who are dying. She found great fulfillment in helping ease the suffering of her patients as they prepared to die. I, myself, couldn't imagine functioning well in that capacity -- I cry easily, and I think I'd take my work home with me, so to speak. Not everyone is wired the same way, though.

Another thought: you might pursue employment as a school nurse, a teacher, or use your nursing degree in another capacity. There are other jobs than caring for patients in a critical care setting for RNs. (A speaker for the nursing program at a nearby university told us all that she would have been horrible at patient care, but just loves teaching.)

I hope all of the posts in response to your question have given you some different perspectives to consider.

Good luck to you as you make your decision, whatever you decide. :)

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Specializes in Med/Surg.
Thank you! That feeling doesn't come too often, but I do feel honored to care for someone in their last dying days, especially when I knew them when they were 'living' so I've already established rapport and a relationship with them, I know I can help them feel as safe and comfortable as possible.

It must be why so many hospice nurses LOVE their jobs, it must be one of the ultimate rewarding careers but you'd never think at first glance that it would be. I've really been considering doing hospice...

I completely agree with what you posted; it was the same thing I was trying to say but you got the message across better. :up:

A few months ago, I ran in to my CNA instructor on the floor (she recognized me 14 years later, wow!), as she now works for a local hospice. I was discussing my thoughts on hospice care, and she said that when they have a job opening, I should go for it, and that she'd put in a good word for me. She said how I feel about taking care of those in their final days is exactly what you need to have in a hospice nurse.

Different specialities click with different people, and that's the best thing about nursing...everyone can find their niche.

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Thank you (everyone!) for taking the time to answer my question.I read every single one of your answers and it just amazes me how you all truly have a passion for what you do!I must say that you guys were totally meant to be Nurses.No doubt about it :-D

Your answers were insightful (some a bit too graphic lol) and I think I might still try to pursue Nursing.Howevr,I don't think I could ever get "use" to death.What frightens me is the transformation that occurs in a person once they die;they swell up,become cold to the touch,crazy things start happening to their body...After having attended a funeral ,I always found myself unable to sleep for like a week or more :-s...Im just not comfortable with this.Like some of you suggested, it would be best to work in units/settings where deaths rarely occur.

Well, let's see how it goes.

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Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

The one and only fact I always kept in my head was "Everybody dies." Not one person in this world has ever gotten out alive. Death is just as much as a part of life as being born. And I always remembered that the person in the body is gone. All I was doing as a nurse was cleaning up something for the family to see. The funeral home always came to the floor to get the body. The one thing that the death and dying has taught me is I just don't fear dying any more. And I think that is a good thing.

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One has to keep on reminding oneself that Death is part of life. It's sad but at the same time up lifting. When someone died in my family I felt sad and happy at the same time. I was grieving because I loved this person very much and I didn't want to even consider them not being part of life while I achieve milestones. On the other hand, I saw death as final peace for them. Peace from suffering and all the things they had to go through. I'm not scared of death, I'm more scared of suffering from physical pain. To me, being in physical pain is the worst thing a person goes through. I don't even wish it for my worst enemies. As a nurse, you're not there to cure them, you're just there to make it comfortable for them.

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This is exactly why I am about to discontinue my nursing education. My first clinical rotations for the semester was on a medical/oncology floor. It has made me more afraid of dying and has messed me up emotionally. I think that I might work in a doctors office ( I am an RMA) and work my way to a management position. It really put a sour taste in my mouth, I don't know....I guess because my best friend has a very rare kidney disorder and my fiance has been a type I diabetic since he was 6 months old. I see his feet acting up now, and I don't know....it just breaks my heart because of what I have learned in school thus far.

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This is exactly why I am about to discontinue my nursing education. My first clinical rotations for the semester was on a medical/oncology floor. It has made me more afraid of dying and has messed me up emotionally. I think that I might work in a doctors office ( I am an RMA) and work my way to a management position. It really put a sour taste in my mouth, I don't know....I guess because my best friend has a very rare kidney disorder and my fiance has been a type I diabetic since he was 6 months old. I see his feet acting up now, and I don't know....it just breaks my heart because of what I have learned in school thus far.

Before you discontinue your nursing education: if you really feel that your rotations "messed you up emotionally," you might want to consider speaking to a counselor at your nursing school about your experience. Chances are you're not the first student to have been traumatized by a rotation experience. A session or two might help you process what you've gone through, help you better identify just what upset you, and/or where you might function at your best as a nurse.

You know, even if you do not become a nurse, your boyfriend's diabetes will continue -- and as a nurse you can be a help to him by educating him about his condition and reinforcing why his doctor's orders should be followed so he can keep his feet for as long as possible.

Thanks for your honest post. I'm sure you're not the first nursing student to wonder if you're choosing the right path for yourself.

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How often do people die around here? Just once same any where else. The first time a patient dies on you is the hardest. If it was unexpected it is worse. You need to decide if you can handle that before you start nursing because odds are you will have to deal with it several times in your career. You will question yourself and wonder if there was some sign treatment or action you could do and might even find one( everything is easier to predict in the past). This may sound forboding but the best feeling I have ever had is the delicious shivery feeling of actually saving someones life. You will get the opportunity to do that also as a nurse. It is a trade that I consider well worth it. A contemplative nurse is better than an unthinking one.

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Specializes in orthopedics, telemetry, PCU.

First of all, no, it's not wrong at all for you to be afraid of those who are dead or dying. Yes, death is a part of every person's life, but it is not something that people normally have to deal with on a regular basis, so it's completely understandable to be intimidated/afraid of being so intimately involved in the process.

As far as the details concerning a death go, it largely depends on what setting you are practicing in. For exaple, working in acute care, you may be experiencing more unexpected deaths than in long term care. Where you practice also probably dictates what your role in post-mortum care will be. I think this also varies alot depending on the facility. Where I work (in acute care) the nurse and PCT take care of cleaning up the patient, family is given however much time they want with the body, and then the funeral home comes up with thier stretcher to take the body (if they are a non-autopsy case...if they are, we take them to the morgue after the family has had their time).

For me, the most important thing I can tell you is this; the majority of people who have passed away while I was involved in thier care are at the point where thier life has reached an end. This includes many elderly people who have lived full, happy lives, but also younger people who have had horrible accidents which essentially ended thier lives the moment they happened. Many of these individuals have DNR orders, but even those who don't, at least I personally have felt thier lives have reached an end, and that death was the natural outcome. Many times, thankfully, the family has realized that this is the inevitable outcome. As a new nurse, I have been involved in very few code situations-none of which were completely unexpected.

Taking care of these bodies is really not much different than taking care of a totally comatomse patient, to be honest. In general, they are not cold or stiff, and you're perfoming the last act of care that you can, and bringing a great deal of comfort to the family.

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