I want to be a RN but don't want to deal, with you know...

[Back2Nursing09]

I want to become a RN but Im not really into the death/dying part.Is it wrong of me to feel this way ? What happens if a patient dies in your hands ? What happens next ? Who deals with the body ? Also,how many of you guys ever dealt with a situation like this ?

[MassED, BSN, RN]

I am taking a class this fall called Coping with Life and Death.. I've heard good things about it that it does help prepare you a little for what you'll encounter as a nurse. I would recommend reading a book or two on the subject or taking a class. I also agree with previous posts that having some spiritual beliefs can help make the passing of a patient easier. Just remind yourself.. they are no longer suffering and they are in a better place. Their families will join them someday.

For me and my experiences with death/dying and the families, it's good to be available and open to their grief and their interpretation of what their family member experienced. I think how you process that information is up to you, whether you have a specific belief system, or cope in some other way. But it is the cycle of life. I definitely think that it's uncomfortable to project your own beliefs onto the family/friends into a situation that has nothing to do with your own personal beliefs. That may help you (at an appropriate time that is not with the patient/family) as a nurse.

Hate to say it, but for the most part, you get used to it. If it's traumatic and unexpected (say a young person or child) no one is comfortable or ready for it. It's hard on everyone involved. You cope with it the best way that you can and know that you have to move on and care for the other patients in your charge. You are a professional and are there to do a job to the best of your ability. I think reading on how to cope as a healthcare professional with unexpected and poor outcomes can help.

[MSmallwoodRNLNC]

OK...I am probably gonna sound harsh, but....Honey if you can't deal with death and dying you've got no business being an RN. Pure and simple.

There are other things to do in nursing that do not involve death/dying BUT usually to get to those jobs you need to 'pay your dues' at the bedside, and time at the bedside is gonna involve death and dying.

[Fribblet]

I thought nursing would have the added benefit of making me more okay with death.

It's done the opposite. I'm even more negative about it now, than when I went into nursing. It's all relative though. It helps some people; others, not so much.

[loriangel14, RN]

it does take a certain type of nurse to deal well with death.My unit has some palliative patients and I have found that helping a patient and the family through the dying process can be very rewarding and life affirming. it reminds us what is really important and how we need to appreciate our loved ones and our own lives.

Post mortem care for us includes cleaning the body, removing and lines or catheters, a fresh gown, shrouding plus paper work and notifying the family and doctor(RNs can pronounce).Usually the funeral home comes to the floor to get the body but sometimes security takes them to the morgue.

[sentientrn]

I really appreciated this question and the honest answers from the nurses on the forum. I personally have not had enough experience to give an answer myself but it does concern me the affect your first experience could have on you. Perhaps you could try working/volunteering with Hospice awhile before you decide to continue your nursing education? Good Luck...

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

It is totally normal to feel the anxiety you are feeling now in regards to dealing with death. If you really can't stand to be around it, work in a clinic or in an ambulatory setting where the odds are much lower compared to an onc or an ICU unit.

It is difficult to deal with death, no matter how many times you have experienced it. I used to work on a gyn/onc floor, and had to experience the death of a number of patients. I made sure that the body was treated with as much respect as possible. We (thankfully) had "decedent care" in our hospital, and after we cleaned up the body, they handled everything else.

I work in the OR now, and I think the most emotionally riveting cases are the organ donor cases. After the organs are harvested, I must clean the body up, put it in the bag and deliver it to the morgue. It never gets easier to do this task. On the one hand, it is a blessing that a number of people are receiving life saving transplants from a patient, on the other hand, it is heartbreaking to deal with such tragedy, as most of our organ donors are MVA's or suicides.

I find it helpful to take a few minutes to talk to the staff involved with the death of a patient; sort of a "debriefing session" that includes the nurses, docs, secretaries, and the hospital chaplain/grief counselor. It helps to talk things out, and in turn you will be able to use what you learn in these sessions to help other staff and family members.

[AgentBeast, MSN, RN]

I wish I could think that way. The body is not just "not alive"--it is going to disappear forever and you are never going to see it again. That's what scares people the most.

We all know that death is part of life but it does not mean you shouldn't be afraid.

I would never work in the hospice, I am not strong enough.

Bodies aren't going anywhere. Bodies are composed of organ systems which are composed of organs which are composed of tissues which are composed of cells which are composed of organelles which are composed of molecules which are composed of atoms (that have mass) which are composed of energy (E=mc2 anyone?) One of the fundamental laws of physics is that energy is neither created nor destroyed. In that sense the "body" always was in existence and always will be in existence.

Problem is you have to be really good at abstract thought to think like this and/or completely nuts.

[Sparrowhawk]

YEah..your body doesn't "go" anywhere, your spirit stays here for however long, and your soul...well that gets into religion and I ain't goin there.

But seriously, if you want to be a nurse...you need to come to terms with your death issues....I've never had a problem with death, in fact people think I'm morbid because it just doesn't bother me at all.

but yeah..you need to talk to someone then.

[Franjcamp]

Death and Dying. What a tricky subject! As a CNA instructor I had to introduce this concept to new people continually. We all know that our response to death and dying is directly related to our personal experiences, our age, our culture and our religion. I think sometimes as older nurses we forget how terrifying that can be especially for younger people and inexperienced people. I know the hardest time it was for me personally(and I had been a nurse for 15 years) was after the death of my mother and trying to deal with other people I didn't even know except as patients who were dying. It kinda brought back all that hurt all over again. So though it is not easy, it gets better with time. The other nurses are right though, if you find it absolutely unbearable as one nurse I use to work with, she became a circulator in surgery. Other people go to work in Doctors offices and clinics where the patients are more stable. There are those jobs out there just really look before you give up on being a nurse.

[Cat_RN, ASN, BSN, RN]

Death and dying are as much a part of nursing as living is, especially in long-term or hospice settings and also oncology. It's not the glamorous aspect of being a nurse but it is just as important to be able to deal effectively with it in the field. I myself find it VERY hard to deal with unexpected deaths and the family. But sometimes it's simply unavoidable.

You do adapt. There are venues for you to learn further about coping with it as a nurse, how to deal with death and provide care for the patient and their families. It doesn't always come naturally! It's an ever-evolving learning process and I urge you to not become discouraged from doing what you really want out of fear. I too was (and still can be), very apprehensive about death. Thoughts of dealing with the grieving families overwhelmed me but I think the more I become educated about it, the more comfortable I am.

Why not pick up a book about death and dying and the processes? Or about hospice nursing? I think the more you learn, the more you'll be ok with it. Don't let it stop you! It will be ok.

[cherrybreeze, ADN, RN]

I think how you approach the process mentally makes a world of difference in how it affects you and how you ultimately deal with it. I work in med/surg, but we do have patients that end up in a comfort care only/acute hospice type of situation. I also was a CNA in a nursing home for 5 years, and encountered death there often.

For me, I feel honored and humbled to care for the dying. How you treat them, and what you do for them, has the biggest effect on the patient and family. By doing the best I can to keep them comfortable, and treating them with respect in every aspect,I am making their journey from this world the best it can be. To have that "power," for lack of a better term, tremendous.

[Cat_RN, ASN, BSN, RN]

I also wanted to add, the feeling of accomplishment and reward from the very first time a family member tells you "Thank you for being there for my Mom, you can never know how much it means that she didn't have to be alone in her last dying breaths", it will have been worth it. It gives you a tremendous sense of pride that you sometimes don't get all to often in nursing.. It makes you remember WHY you wanted to be a nurse in the first place, you wanted to make a difference, a positive impact on someone's life, and you did. :redbeathe