I don't want to be a nurse!!

Dacatster, ADN · Dec 29, 2015

Dont be a nurse

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Dec 29, 2015

Please do not go into nursing because your parents are pressuring you. That would just be pure misery.

And though I often hear about the "great pay," I strongly disagree with that. Yeah, it pays more than flipping burgers, but compared to many of my friends who have no more education than I do, I don't make diddly. And that's fine, I didn't go into it thinking I would make a big salary. I'm lucky to be a second income with a husband who makes a very good salary. But if I were not in this situation, I would not be all that happy with what I bring in.

Go for what you want, even if that means you have to break from your parents.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Dec 29, 2015

I really feel bad for the OP. I read an article a few months ago that depression rates amongst college freshman is now around 60%. This a crazy number at a time when these kids should be having a great time, making mistakes, and figuring out who they are.

The reason for this is helicopter parenting. Today's kids have every, single, decision made for them. Parents don't want them to ever fail. When failing sometimes in life is important. It's how we learn. They even go as far as to fill out college applications for the schools they want their kids to attend and pick out their majors. I've seen parents come on here doing this very thing.

These kids get into college and are lost. They can't deal with conflict or professors. They are used to mom and dad handling their teachers at school. These kids are in majors that don't fit them and they hate the classes. They fall deeper into depression and some end up committing suicide as they can't deal with life. It breaks my heart.

I've got a nine year old boy, soon to be ten. I have only really intervened on him once at school and it had nothing to do with grades or anything. He had a kid who was putting their hands on him and really bullying him. My son had been walking away but was getting really mad and I thought he was going to end up beating the crap out of this other kid. My child is very good in martial arts and can handle himself very well. He a national silver medalist. This was last school year. But I also worked with him on how to appropriately deal with these issues on his own. And this year something similar happened and he dealt with it on his own!! I was really proud of him.

My point of my own story is our kids need to learn how to deal with life on their own and for goodness sakes, pick their own career!! Let them fail. They need to experience disappointment in life and learn from their mistakes. It how we can raise productive, happy adults. The depression rate amongst college freshmen should never be that high.

twozer0, NP · Dec 29, 2015

If you don't want to be a nurse, don't! If I did everything my parents wanted me to do, I'de be sweating away in a kitchen somewhere working for peanuts. Bottom line is, I did what I wanted for myself. By no means is nursing my dream job, but it is a means to provide for myself (and provide well) and family. Now days you can't pick a career because it's your dream job, you have to pick something that is viable. You think a liberal arts degree will set you up with a job to support yourself? Probably not. I'm not saying to do something you don't want to do, I'm saying like many your dream job might just be that, a dream. Do something that you can tolerate where you might not love it but you also dont hate it. I would hate to see you drop thousands of dollars to not get a career that you wanted, or pays accordingly.

There are many careers outside of nursing that you could do that offer good job security (which is paramount now days). Do some research, find some things you might be interested in, toss out the ones with limited job opportunities. Not everyone can land a job being a national geographic photographer.

Also, whoever told you that you need ICU experience to be in informatics must have got hit in the head by something. Informatics has little to do with bedside nursing. If you are interested in this route, I recommend computer science, its a huge field, great pay, good job opportunities!

Best of luck sticking it to your parents, they dont have to live with your decision the rest of thier life, but you do!

llg, PhD, RN · Dec 29, 2015

Declare whatever major you want in college. Don't tell your parents. Problem solved.

I'd probably do a slightly different version of this plan. Find a 4-year university program that only accepts nursing students in their junior year. For the 1st and 2nd year, students take pre-requisite classes. During those first 2 years, take the classes you need for the major of YOUR choice -- letting your parents think that you will enter the nursing program in your junior year. Let them pay for those 2 years while you continue to be "open minded" about possibly going into the nursing program, but also exploring some other options with your choice of courses that you take. Don't force the confrontation. Remain open-minded and encourage them to be the same as you keep the possibility of your entering the nursing program in your junior year open while taking a variety of courses.

When you hit junior year, that's when things will "hit the fan" -- and you'll have to declare a major for real -- either enter the nursing program or continue in the major of your choice. If you parents refuse to pay for a major other than nursing, then you'll only have to pay for the final 2 years on your own.

Livetoride · Dec 29, 2015

Here's the beautiful thing OP. You don't have to do what your parents want you to do. If you did every single thing they say, you are only going to let them control your entire life. What school, who to date, where to work, where to live, etc. Don't open up that door.

Right now, the best thing to do is research your potential interests. When your parents bring up the subject again, just smile and nod. Tell them thanks for thinking about you. No argument, conversation closed. You don't have to defend your choice(s) to them because it will go one ear and out the other. They'll just keep saying you are going to change your mind at some point.

Nursing school is very competitive and you will not do well if your heart is not in it. You have stated that you don't want to be a nurse. You don't have to. Save yourself the misery and just do your own thing, educational wise. If that means you are on your own for college, so be it.

windsurfer8, BSN, RN · Dec 29, 2015

So it is your parents fault? If you are over 18 then anything you do is on you. Stop blaming your parents for your decisions. It is YOUR decision. If they say they won't pay then take out loans. Go join he military. If they are threatening your life if you do not become a nurse then call the police.

Purple_roses · Dec 29, 2015

I think you should definitely show your parents the responses you have received. Nursing is something you really need to want for yourself. Many nurses suffer depression, and I can only imagine how a nurse would feel if (s)he didn't even choose the career for herself/himself.

Nurses Experience Depression at Twice the Rate of General Public | INQRI

In addition, negligence and abuse of residents/patients is a problem most commonly seen in the overly-stressed nurse. (http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/Resources/Publication/docs/NursingHomeRisk.pdf see risk factor #4). As a nurse who did not choose nursing, I would venture to say you will be more likely to be stressed, depressed, and burned out. Don't put yourself in a situation where you will most likely be miserable, because this will directly affect your patient care.

Elladora · Dec 29, 2015

If your heart isn't in it, you'll never make it through nursing school. If your parents have control because of finances it might be time to have a sit down meeting with them in which you calmly and rationally explain why you don't want to go into nursing. Might not hurt to show them how much money they could be potentially wasting if they are paying for schooling and you fail out.

Tough situation. Best of luck to you.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Dec 30, 2015

Don't do it. Even if it is your passion it is really hard. Follow your intuition.

kjh1228, BSN, RN · Dec 30, 2015

My parents are coercing me to majoring in nursing. I am currently a high school senior. I really do not want to be a nurse but of course my parents want to be a nurse because of the pay, job security. If I do have to be a nurse I'd want to be an informatics nurse but I heard you need experience in the ICU first. Ugh I am really going to hate my life for the first few years after college. I would much rather be an accountant or biomed engineer but nooo only nursing field has jobs available according to my parents. It's completely unfair. What can I do to cope? Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did things turn out for you? What other options are there for new grad nurses?

And you won't be. To make it through nursing school you have got to want to be there to get through it. Don't waste your time or money because your heart has to be in it.

teapiglets · Dec 30, 2015

Take a leap of faith. Do what you want in life because it sounds like you might live with regrets if you do not.

Learn assertiveness. Never let anyone control your thoughts because they will become actions, then your identity eventually.

~

Personal story.

18, parents insisted I go to college because they say college will get you a job, etc, etc. I was not ready. I did great one semester, I did poorly the next. Used parent's money, felt guilty and obligated. Then I was like...I don't want to be controlled and feel like I should just do what they want because they have the excuse they are paying for it. I left the house at 19, did RA for free housing and got scholarships/grants/loans and worked 2-3jobs to pay for my own tuition.

There is SO much more in life than money and job security. (Haha! Your parents really sounds like mine when I was your age.) There's family, there's friends, there's living life! You can have the former but none of the latter. I have successful and happy friends who were high school and college dropouts. They took vocational courses. I've learned with hard work and determination and the right support group, you can do anything especially when you put your mind to it.

Remember, your parents do care about you and want the best but IT IS YOUR LIFE.

Do your research, sit in a fee of the upper level classes of the majors you're interested in, take tours to companies, talk to those who have been in the fields for decades. If money is what concerns your parents the most, find salary statistics and back it up if it will please them. Then work hard to prove to them that you're right.