I want to be a nurse... I don't want to be a nurse... I want to be a nurse... I don't

nsgstudent1016 · Jun 9, 2008

Hi Jen! I know how you feel about wavering back and forth because that's how I am with nursing school. One day I want to do it, then the next day I find a hundred reasons not too (long hours with no break, too many patients and not enough nurses, narcissistic doctors, difficult patients, cranky family members, etc). Still I find that on the days I hate nursing, my fingers have a mind of their own and type "all nurses" into the google web search. My friends make fun of me because I still care about nursing, even when I don't want to continue in the program.

It's like I cannot give up on nursing despite all the negatives I hear from nurses and on this board. I've already been accepted to nursing school and have two months to decide what to do. I don't have kids to worry about like you do, so I can't imagine how difficult your decision is. You have all your pre-reqs out of the way? If so, they are good at most schools for at least five years. Take time and think about it because I do know that nursing school is a full-time obligation as are children, but I have classmates who do both and succeed at both :) Well, good luck with this decision!

Asherah, BSN, RN · Jun 9, 2008

Then I read about poop smeared all over a wall, or a manager making someones life miserable, or working a holiday, or a med error, or a code... and I remember why I couldn't do it.... then I think of the NICU and start missing the hospital... it sucks.

I think its important to remember that there will be massive challenges encountered in any career you may choose, these just happen to be specific to nursing and patient care. All of these situations are overcome by nurses everyday, you just have to assess your willingness to push forward and have the confidence that you'll know how to overcome them as well if you choose to pursue nursing.

I understand that you have your children to consider, so perhaps you should consider nursing in your future, rather than an immediate path, if your instinct tells you that is the best way to go for now.

Good luck!

Karynica, RN · Jun 9, 2008

you should go ahead, become a nurse, then don't practice! LOL. I am teasing you.

Really. Do what you feel is right for you. Please don't be 50 years old someday and look back and wish you had done it. Then you will be really sad.

HM2VikingRN, RN · Jun 9, 2008

Think carefully before you absolutely decide not to go this fall. I think everybody goes through a spell of cold feet before starting school. I wouldn't shut the door just yet. I would encourage you to let your admission seat stay warm. IOW don't decline your seat. Set a deadline for yourself to make a decision and then don't think about school or nursing for at least a month. (By the first of Aug you may be raring to go as it will be back to school shopping time.)

Best wishes from a fellow Minnesotan....

oramar · Jun 9, 2008

AAAAHHHHH!!! Help me! OK, OK.... so here I am. I posted a couple of weeks ago, about how nursing just wasn't for me. I wanted to take a break from school (now that I'm one semester away from starting the program) and stay home... concentrating fully on my children. (See post I just can't do it.... ) and now here I am... reading all of your posts and saddened with jealousy. I've had an empty feeling since I've decided to quit school. Kinda like a hole in my heart. Actually, the same kind of hole I felt when I was going to school, and worrying about missing so much of my kids lives.
Then I read about poop smeared all over a wall, or a manager making someones life miserable, or working a holiday, or a med error, or a code... and I remember why I couldn't do it.... then I think of the NICU and start missing the hospital... it sucks.
OK, sorry to rant. I just don't think I'll ever be happy, no matter what I decide. The grass is always greener, I suppose.
Thanks for listening to me. Take care everyone. I've really got to stay away from here for a while...
Jen

I remember going through this when I was young. Always searching for something, always looking for somesort of balance. One of the glories of being 60 is that I feel content. No one told me that would come with age but it is a great thing. As for your problem, you should work on becomming you in some way. It is up to you what to do with your life. Just remember you would not dream of submerging yourself in a career and neglecting your family completely. Neither should you lose yourself in family to a point that would prevent you from having a little space for yourself. My daughter does it by running triathalons. She has a friend that always manages to sqeeze a little time in for her photography hobby.

2011NursingStudent · Jun 9, 2008

That is me as well!!!!!!!!!! I currently have a career in IT and I go back and forth DAILY. IT....nursing.....wait IT........nursing!! LoL its been going on like this for months, but every time I sign up for an IT class, I end up dropping it. My CNA class was long/boring/and the nursing home was rough, but I never even thought about quitting! I pushed forward and by the end of it, I was quite pleased that I had finished it. I feel like I could have such a good life as a nurse, because even though its an extremely demanding job, I really have a chance to make an impact on someone and make their stay pleasant.

luvmy3kids · Jun 9, 2008

Think carefully before you absolutely decide not to go this fall. I think everybody goes through a spell of cold feet before starting school. I wouldn't shut the door just yet. I would encourage you to let your admission seat stay warm. IOW don't decline your seat. Set a deadline for yourself to make a decision and then don't think about school or nursing for at least a month. (By the first of Aug you may be raring to go as it will be back to school shopping time.)
Best wishes from a fellow Minnesotan....

Thanks for your advice. I haven't been accepted (yet) to a program. I had one semester of pre-reqs left for this fall before I could apply for fall of 09. The U of M has a guideline of 10 yrs for course expiration... so I still have time to get the other courses done and decide what to do (someday).

My youngest will be going to kindergarten in 2010, so maybe by then I'll feel more comfortable.

I guess if I don't feel 100%, then I just shouldn't do it. I'd hate to start a program and then drop out half way through wasting someone elses hard earned spot.

I just think about the things I've given up and it makes me sad :sniff: . But I know I'd be sadder if I missed my kids too.

Thanks for your support. And hey... finally, we get a nice day huh??

And thank you ALL for your nice words and encouragement. I knew I'd feel better about my decision just by posting here. No one else really understands but nurses or nursing students.

You guys are the best!! :redbeathe:redbeathe:redbeathe

Jennifer

HM2VikingRN, RN · Jun 9, 2008

Here's another thought....Take just one class/semester. By the time your youngest is off to kindergarten you will be ready for ns at the same time. (I admit I am splitting the apple here.)

jjjoy, LPN · Jun 9, 2008

Maybe there's some kind of part-time something or other you can get into that would keep you in the health care loop and allow that part of your identity to feel acknowledged and useful regardless of whether or not you pursue nursing school in the next year. Phlebotomy? Unit secretary? Volunteer in NICU?

You've been doing some work in health care already, right? Has that been satisfying? Leaving you wanting more? More what? Are there any part-time programs in your area? Any part-time nursing programs in your area? They're not too common and usually through a community college or vocational school. But if there does happen to be one in your area, it could be worth looking in to.

What about affordable LPN programs (in three years you could've applied, graduated and worked awhile)? There's a quick dialysis program in my area for about $5,000. Private LPN programs are usually one year and more like $10,000, I think. Not bargain basement prices by any means but you get out there working quickly. If you can afford it, it could possibly be a way to get out there more quickly and see how it suits you.

And by the way, what's the acceptance rate where you want to apply in 2009? Some schools have terrible wait lists and you can't assume that you'll be accepted the first year you apply. Just something to think about (ugh! not more to think about!!!)

Community college in my area offers unit secretary training and working as a unit secretary on a hospital unit gives you great exposure to the multitude of nursing responsibilities that take place away from the bedsides (taking off new orders, calling MDs for order changes, sending to pharmacy for meds, etc).

What about volunteering with the Red Cross? Become a basic first aid instructor? Child first aid for parents/child care workers?

I'm just tossing those out there. I don't know how realistic they are in your area.

But just some thoughts to remind you that it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing, or more specifically nursing school - or - nothing, in regard to satiating your desire to get involved in helping people. You can be a very involved mom AND have satisfying part-time work or a volunteer gig that would keep you warm professionally.

jelorde37 · Jun 9, 2008

i wont lie to you, theres a lot of bad things that can happen in a shift. but the beauty about it is when your patients say that you are their favorite, when your co-workers always asks you to reassess their patient for them cause of your skills, or when your superiors automatically give you the hardest run cause they trust you, it feels good. i dont know about other people, but these are some things that i learned to look at in a positive way. and occasionally, you will have some setbacks and problems, but always take it as a learning experience.

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jun 9, 2008

you should go ahead, become a nurse, then don't practice!

HA! No joke, this is what I did! (am doing). As a result of feeling forever like you feel now. I just kept putting one foot in front of another until I was done. Now I am still not sure I want to do it, lol. But I got the degree and the initials after my name! :twocents: :up: And I still come here weekly and go back and forth...back and forth....blah blah

But you have other concerns. Like your kids. Just make sure that you are not using that as an excuse because you are afraid.... If you want to enjoy your kids' early years then fine..nursing school will always be there...so you shouldn't be racked with jealousy..you are just taking a break!. Maybe you are really having feelings that if you back away now you will never come back?? if so..maybe rethink it...examine why you want the NICU so much. Do you know enough about it and what nurses really do and go through day to day there? A lot of the BS crap is there in other jobs too although I say there is more to be had as a nurse..:chuckle Seriously.

And the posts here..they'll scare you away for sure! But not if you have the right personality for nursing and a real love for it. It is up to you to figure that out!

Good Luck! :heartbeat

Indecisiveness and self doubt can be a killer..believe me, I know...