I think I'm really leaving nursing, at least for a while

GLORIAmunchkin72 · Aug 7, 2004

I watched an interesting show last night on the cost of health care. I think the whole medical system has become unreal. If it gets more insane the whole thing is going to crash in one big heap!!

I have come to the conclusion that at this time in my life, nursing is making me ill. I was recently hospitalized for intractable migraine and really have had headaches almost constantly for several months now. They always get worse either right before I go to work or when I'm at work. I've been getting these terrible feelings of impending doom while at work, always preceding a migraine. I get sweaty and hot and my heart races. And there isn't anything especially terrible happening at work as far as I can tell.
I am divorcing and my 12 year old son is having difficulty with it and is having behaviour issues. I am too tired and stressed from work to do much about it. It's almost easier to let his father deal w/ it, and I know that's not fair. My house is a mess and I haven't been doing anything about that either.
Honest to god, I have an interview Tuesday at Petsmart for a dog bather. If I "work out" I can be sent to dog grooming school, which is what I think I'd like to do. I can't even remember anymore why I became a nurse except that it seems to be what my family does.
I hope to get my good feelings about nursing back someday. I've only been nursing for 3 years and I thought I loved it, but my body is telling me otherwise.
Have any of you ever been here? Have any of you actually left nursing? It does seem ridiculous, the fact that I am walking away from really good money, but I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for listening.

limandri · Aug 7, 2004

Sorry to read about your distress, ParrotHead. Altho I have never left nursing completely, I have had more than one of those long dry periods. What worked for me was to change positions in nursing, but it sounds like there is so much going on for you that a pet groomer might give you a bigger break. (When I retire dog training and breeding is my choice too.)

On a more serious note, you have some very serious stressors going on for you and maybe nursing is the only one that you can control right now. I sure home you are seeing someone for therapy and support. You really need it and deserve it. Funny how nurses take better care of others than themselves.

Barbara

I have come to the conclusion that at this time in my life, nursing is making me ill. I was recently hospitalized for intractable migraine and really have had headaches almost constantly for several months now. They always get worse either right before I go to work or when I'm at work. I've been getting these terrible feelings of impending doom while at work, always preceding a migraine. I get sweaty and hot and my heart races. And there isn't anything especially terrible happening at work as far as I can tell.
I am divorcing and my 12 year old son is having difficulty with it and is having behaviour issues. I am too tired and stressed from work to do much about it. It's almost easier to let his father deal w/ it, and I know that's not fair. My house is a mess and I haven't been doing anything about that either.
Honest to god, I have an interview Tuesday at Petsmart for a dog bather. If I "work out" I can be sent to dog grooming school, which is what I think I'd like to do. I can't even remember anymore why I became a nurse except that it seems to be what my family does.
I hope to get my good feelings about nursing back someday. I've only been nursing for 3 years and I thought I loved it, but my body is telling me otherwise.
Have any of you ever been here? Have any of you actually left nursing? It does seem ridiculous, the fact that I am walking away from really good money, but I don't know what else to do.
Thanks for listening.

RN4NICU, LPN, LVN · Aug 7, 2004

Sorry to read about your distress, ParrotHead. Altho I have never left nursing completely, I have had more than one of those long dry periods. What worked for me was to change positions in nursing, but it sounds like there is so much going on for you that a pet groomer might give you a bigger break. (When I retire dog training and breeding is my choice too.)
On a more serious note, you have some very serious stressors going on for you and maybe nursing is the only one that you can control right now. I sure home you are seeing someone for therapy and support. You really need it and deserve it. Funny how nurses take better care of others than themselves.
Barbara

I think we are conditioned to do this. I think we condition each other to do this. Read some of the posts on this board - some of us expect each other to do this and it's crap! THIS is the very type of situation that type of thinking leads to.

nurseygrrl, LPN · Aug 7, 2004

It seems as though you have some other problems going on besides just the stress of your job. Have you had your BP checked? High BP can be caused by stress and bring on headaches as well. It sounds like you need some destressing...BIG TIME! I wish you luck whatever you do, always keep your license if you decide to leave nursing. You never know, you may want to come back. (((((hugs)))))

Ross1 · Aug 7, 2004

In addition to everything that has already been said, many of the symptoms that you are experiencing at work are typical of panic attacks. It sounds as if your plate of coping skills is full with your pending divorce and son's problems. Work may just be the added psychosocial stressor that is your final straw and your body is now telling you with migraines and panic attacks. Not only do you need some time off, it is imperative that you get a full medical and mental health evaluation. I suspect that you might be eligible for a short-term disability leave of absence. Take care of yourself.....this is serious!

BBFRN, BSN, PhD · Aug 7, 2004

I went through the same thing in the past- for me it was migraines, sleeplessness, and N/V before work, brought on by a sense of powerlessness at a job working under someone I couldn't trust or stand. I left that job and went agency- it made all the difference in the world.

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Aug 7, 2004

Before you do anything else, please, get a head to toe check up. Make sure to keep tabs on your BP for a week or so just see how it is running at different times. Get some stress counseling. Change your diet. Join a support group for people getting a divorce. Above all else, do not sit at home brooding. I hope you feel better soon.

SmilingBluEyes · Aug 7, 2004

Wow you have taken some licks in life lately....I can understand your need for change. I wish you the best, wherever life leads.....and that things improve very soon for you. Good luck and take care.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Aug 7, 2004

Sounds like a lot of stress, in the most important areas of your life: marriage, child, and job. Please take care of yourself and may you find peace in whatever you do.

Saved_by_Grace · Aug 8, 2004

I was gonna say sounds a lot like panic/anxiety symptoms. I suffer from them as well and they can debilitate you if you do not seek help from your pcp. I can certainly empathize w/you, having been there as a divorced mother. I'm not a nurse yet, but you know I tried the same thing. I left a really good paying job thinking that would "fix me" if I had less stress to deal with. I took a job developing photos at a retail store..very low stress. But the anxiety still found a way to rear its ugly head. I'm not saying you shouldn't take some time off, cause it will prob do you some good. Just a word of caution that it may not be the quick fix you seek. Good luck hon, I wish you all the best. Take care.:)

renerian, BSN, RN · Aug 8, 2004

Cannot seem to erase this.