I think I could be an Alcoholic.......

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jun 5, 2008

Yes. I can help you.

It's exactly as the old wisdom says: If you even THINK you may have a drinking problem........you already do.

You say you feel powerless over ETOH. You can't stop once you get started. And you're alarmed about your behavior.

Welcome to my world.

I understand that it's difficult to accept the "alcoholic" label. I had the same problem, because "alcoholics" were people who drank all day, every day. They were the people you see drinking out of brown paper bags, reeling down the street in ragged clothes, slurring their words and smelling bad............not respectable human beings with jobs, homes, families. And certainly not ME!! Yes, I knew I had a drinking problem, but I was president of the local Jaycees, for crying out loud---I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic!

It didn't take many AA meetings to straighten out that perception, or to break through the rest of my denial (something alcoholics are great at). Long story short, I've been sober for almost 16 1/2 years now. It hasn't been easy. Sometimes I wish with all my might for a drink, but I know that it's not the drink I want, it's the drunk---a few hours where I can be obnoxious, vent my spleen, and take absolutely NO responsibility for it. But it's like this: one drink is too much, and a thousand aren't enough.

Please, please, PLEASE get thee to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting STAT. They will help you learn to accept yourself and help you start over again, without alcohol as a crutch. It takes a lifetime to 'recover' from this disease; you will have many times when you go on "dry drunks" and do everything wrong EXCEPT take a drink, and you may even slip backwards now and again. But please don't make the mistake of thinking that NOT being falling-down-drunk every day means you're in control of the booze........because it's controlling YOU through worry, through being unable to stop once started, through the development of ever-higher tolerance.

I wish you all the best. PM me if you'd like to chat with a real, live, recovering alcoholic.

michigooseBSN · Jun 6, 2008

KayCee, I've never heard a better description of alcoholism but if the label bothers you, don't use it. Just say "I have a drinking problem" or "I can't stop drinking" or even "I want to stop drinking". But for heaven's sake go to AA meetings. You will meet so many many people (yes even nurses) who have exactly the same problem you have and have learned how to deal with it. I, too, have over 16 years of sobriety and peace of mind and health and serenity all because of AA. Good luck

TazziRN, RN · Jun 7, 2008

What they said. If you know you have a drinking problem then you are indeed an alcoholic. Please go to a meeting asap. You do not have to talk, just go and listen. And keep going. Go to as many meetings as you can and just listen.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 11, 2008

AA has a test to help you decide if you're an alcoholic. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_is_aa_for_you.cfm?PageID=71

You're going to have a tough time beating this on your own because the anxiety, lonliness and other issues are going to be there still without the alcohol. Get some help somewhere, if not AA, somewhere.

billyehaynes · Jun 18, 2008

Hey Kaycee,

Just a few words. People who think they have a problem with alcohol or drugs usually do. People who arent alcoholics usually dont ask themselve that question. Also it sounds like you crossed a major thresh-hold... for the alcoholic, once drinking stops being fun, it usually does not become fun again. You don't have to hit rock bottom to stop. It was told to me that, "your bottom is where ever you stop digging". Stop digging kiddo. Save yourself the enevitable hell you will go through. I emplore you. I have just over five years clean and sobe and I just finished RN school. God bless you and you will be in my prayers. "Easy does it!"

mummasheesh · Jun 18, 2008

Wow, you're getting some really good feedback here. Getting to a meeting is critical. One thing that I would add, listen with an open mind and try to identify, don't compare. Our bottoms all look different. Hopefully this is yours. God bless and good luck. Sober living is truly beautiful.

KayceeLeeRN, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2008

Hi, I just want to say thanks to everyone. Although, for some reason, something in me keeps saying, "that's not you, you're not an alcoholic, thats ridiculous...you don't need to go to AA"

I honestly do not drink often. maybe once a week or once every 2 weeks. I always thought alcoholics drink everyday...all day...in the morning. and have withdrawl symptoms when they don't. That's not me. After a night of drinking, the last thing I want to do the next day is drink again!

Is this denial? Is this what denial feels like? Or am I just over reacting about the whole thing? I'm so confused.

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Jun 19, 2008

Maybe just going to a meeting would help some of those feelings clarify themselves. You don't have to say anything, just sit there and listen.

michigooseBSN · Jun 19, 2008

Many many alcoholics do not drink daily, never drink in the morning and do not have withdrawal symptoms. BUT, and this is a big but, most "problem drinkers (i.e alcoholics) will eventually progress to that point. I've heard it often said that untreated alcoholism leads to one of three places. Hospital, Institution or Death. Some alcoholics need to get to that point to be willing to do what is needed to get and stay sober but YOU DON'T HAVE TO. It is quite possible to get sober before suffering all that pain. Again I say, just try going to AA and listening. You needn't talk at all. Just listen and you will hear what you need to hear. If you never hear anything that applies to you, then maybe you're not an alcoholic afterall. And yes, your last post is exactly what denial sounds like.

gwapalicious · Jun 19, 2008

how can i tell if i have a drinking problem?

the answer may be more simple than you think

the short answer is if you have to ask, chances are you have a problem. if others in your life have told you that you have a problem, you probably do. if you have continued to drink in spite of negative consequences, that could be an indication of a serious problem.

most people who experience problems with drinking, simply quit. they have one particularly painful or embarrassing drinking incident, wake up the next morning and tell themselves, "never again!" and that's it. they stop drinking; just like that, no problem.

if you have done the same thing -- told yourself you would never get that drunk again, or even drink again -- but found yourself a few days later doing exactly what you swore to yourself you would never do, chances are your drinking falls into the category of alcohol abuse, at the very least, and [color=#3366cc]alcohol dependence at worse. alcohol abuse is described as any "harmful use" of alcohol and that by definition is a "drinking problem." whether or not you have become alcohol dependent is another question -- and whether or not you come to believe that you are an alcoholic, is yet another question.

here are some of the tests that are available online:

[color=#3366cc]alcoholscreening.org

[color=#3366cc]aa's 44 questions

[color=#3366cc]short alcohol tests

Spode · Jan 11, 2010

All I tell you is, three years ago, I could have written that letter verbatim. Learn from the rest of us. I do not know you, but I can promise you this, Life is much better without alcohol. The beauty of it all is, it is a blessing.

Only recently have I come to understand this.

Recovery is a DAILY REPRIEVE. I do believe it is a disease and one that is flexible (i.e. other subtances willingly and quickly take it's place such as food and shopping).

If you feel hopeless, I have hope for you until yours returns.