I quit my job and am seriously considering quitting nursing

[sandlewood_nurse]

Please see my post in Nurses eat their young.

I became a nurse because I am compassionate, bright (honour roll student), and would like to do nothing more than help people achieve good health, and get better. All that I've gotten from nursing is a decline in my own health and self esteem!!

It's true they do eat their young. And if they get proven wrong, because another nurse, or nurses stand up and say, that this particular nurse you are hazing is actually doing really well, they will resort to lying, and even threatening.

I was told I would deserve to be hit by a patient even though I was trying to de esculate as another nurse watched with a smirk on her face.

Why should I subject myself to this when I can do less stressful jobs for just a few bucks less, or do a job that pays more, but at least my health and self esteem are not targetted? Why? I did it because I LOVED my JOB, I loved working with my paatients and I worked DAMN HARD in nursing school and paid so much money to become one.

I draw the line here. Another nurse that will become INACTIVE because there are so many jobs out there that might be hard, but at least you don't get eaten, and lied about and manipulated on a daily basis. You know I can transfer my credits and get an accounting degree and make MORE MONEY. I can become an Architect and make more. I can work as a secretary and make only $7-8 buxz less than what I make with less stress (I've been a secretary before). I can get a goverment job and make wicked money with great benefits. What the hell am I still doing here? Because I love my job and patients? Yes but it's not worth my health and self esteem.

For those of you eating .. you are FAT COWS who will get waht you deserve.

For those of you who put up with it .. my condolences, there are opotions.

For those of you who think I'm CRAZY .. you are crazy for working in a place that promotes this ********, just becaause it didn't happen to you, I'm sure you saw it happen to someoen else who didn't deserve it!!

Am I mad .. HELL YEAH !! The nursing profession just lost an amazing nurse today. If most of the staff can admit to me doing a fine job, and I have to put up with 3 people (less than 95%) of the staff make up lies about me and get away with it, then nursing doesn't deserve good nurses like ME!! I am ready to stand up and take waht I deserve, which is to be treated like a civilized person, and not some dumbass freak that can be mocked at, belittled, ohhhhh and hit at :).

[Scrubby]

sandalwood nurse you sound like me a year ago. Some research has found that the operating room has the highest level of horizontal violence and verbal abuse from doctors...well I have to say that this is true where I work. I'm a lot more assertive now and I have found that it pays off. You do need to have the courage to speak up and confront people. I have found that keeping calm and showing no fear helps because people will take you more seriously this way.

I think assertiveness should be taught at nursing school. We need to break this cycle of bullying and show these idiots that new nurses aren't going to be their next meal.

[NurseCard, ADN]

wow sandlewood... I am sorry that you are going through this, but it sounds like you really truly WANT to be a nurse, and that you are indeed a good one. I just echo what others have said; not every unit is like this, not every preceptor is like yours.

Units vary so much... I used to work on a unit where every nurse on night shift talked and gossipped about each other when they weren't there. Now I work on a unit and we on our shift are not like that; we are all like family. It's great. Both were/are med-surge units.

Don't let this person, or persons, destroy your dream. You can and will find a place where you can be happy and flourish as a nurse. Just keep on having faith. =)

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

sandalwood nurse you sound like me a year ago. Some research has found that the operating room has the highest level of horizontal violence and verbal abuse from doctors...well I have to say that this is true where I work. I'm a lot more assertive now and I have found that it pays off. You do need to have the courage to speak up and confront people. I have found that keeping calm and showing no fear helps because people will take you more seriously this way.

I think assertiveness should be taught at nursing school. We need to break this cycle of bullying and show these idiots that new nurses aren't going to be their next meal.

Scrubby, I agree with your post. I think the reason for the lack of training regarding bullying in NS is because many instructors are some of the worst offenders. Many of them are older and were trained back when it was acceptable to treat new nurses like garbage.

I wish I could say that I have no idea how to relate to the OPs problem, but that would not be true. Every job I have had has had some truly evil people. Thankfully there are always decent people too. But, it takes just one bully to poison a workplace.

OP, I'm truly sorry for what you are experiencing. Many of us have seen it as well. I've noticed that sometimes, there is a tendency to blame the bullying victim or turn away and pretend not to notice. I pride myself on the fact that I don't participate in the gossipfests, the sabatoge, and the snarky behavior. I speak up now when I hear someone getting ripped apart by coworkers. This has ticked people off but you know what, I really don't care. We are not in junior high anymore!

Nursing has given me a big mouth and a backbone, that's for sure. I'm also extremely stubborn, so that's helped me too.

Best of luck OP...I hope you come back to nursing someday. We need people like you-we can't let the harpies win.

[jjjoy, LPN]

It's all nice and good to say things like "stand up for yourself" and "be confident in yourself" and the like... but when you're new you simply do not know if the person criticizing you is being accurate in their assessment of you. For all the newbie knows, they just did something really stupid and that's why their preceptor was more sharp than one might expect initially. It takes time to learn that Meanie Melanie or Bully Brenda will find anything to criticize and not to take their criticisms too seriously most of the time. To the newbie, most every piece of feedback carries the same weight - that is, it might be VERY IMPORTANT so you'd better listen well! - because the newbie has no basis from which to judge the validity of the criticism. So if the precepting nurse tells the newbie nurse "you did that all wrong" or "this is what you should do" - the newbie doesn't have much choice but to take it at face value until they have more experience to work from.

My experience is that the degree of difficulty faced by newbies in nursing in many environments is more pronounced than in many other settings. Maybe because a newbie nurse is VERY dependent up on their colleagues starting out. If I'm starting out in a new accounting job and my colleague looks over my work and tells me (or implies) that I'm terrible accountant and I should do my work differently, I have the luxury of time to consider their feedback, to review an accounting resource, to re-do the work and fix any problems if need be, etc. But as a newbie nurse, if my colleague looks at my work and tells me (or implies) that I'm a terrible nurse and that I did this or that all wrong, how do I know whether or not they are correct? Sure, I can look things up when I get the chance and I can talk with a trusted nurse friend to get their opinion, but it may be awhile before I can do those things and meanwhile, I have patients with pressing needs and I have to trust my colleagues to guide me until I have enough experience to work more independently.

[queenjean]

I think it is sad that you are going to let one poor work environment push you out of your career. Why can't you look at some other facility? I wouldn't want to work in the facility that you described; but my hospital isn't like that at all. I love my floor. Everyone works well together and is supportive of one another.

Those environments exist, but if you give up now, you won't ever find them.

[jjjoy, LPN]

To the OP, taking care of yourself is top priority! And you get to decide what works best for you. You're the one who has to get up each day and go into work.

After trying several attempts at different clinical nursing positions, I personally decided to move away from patient care and I'm very happy with my job in clinical data management now. I consider that I have a degree in nursing - and it helps me in my position to understand the clinical data I'm working with - but I am not practicing nursing, like many people have degrees in history or economics but don't teach history or work as economists or otherwise directly "use" their degree.

Some things you can't know til you know - and it takes some trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn't. Do you know you want to do something else? Or do you just know that you want out of your current situation?

I hope you're feeling better and come to a more peaceful place in your heart as you decide what kind of work you want to pursue. : )

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

It sounds like the OP has ample reason to be upset, and is probably wise to leave her current position. As far as leaving nursing altogether, I would not discourage that choice, as well. The hard work and sacrifices required to get through NS and get a license are surely nothing to cast away lightly, but neither should they condemn one to a life of misery. There are other worthwhile jobs, including some for which any sort of college degree will qualify one for a decent shot at a career.

I must say, some of the OPs remarks about "fat cows," and other nurses being "crazy" to work in the field lead me to question whether the OP has the appropriate temperment for a nursing career. I don't mean that in a judgemental way. Every human can get angry, and every human can spout off about it. My workplace is blessed with coworkers who generally get along pretty well, but there are no shortage of other stressors. Patients and their families can be needy, demanding, and even abusive. It seems like administrators, accrediting bodies, Medicare, and pretty much anybody else who has ever driven past a hospital are dreaming up new things to document on a daily basis. People I've never offended in any way develop life-threatening dysrhthmias or intractable high blood pressure, or fall out of bed as though they had nothing better to do than ruin my night. And even in a good workplace, the occassional jerk is bound to wander through from time to time.

It sounds like the OP has been unlucky in landing in an unhealthy environment, but the reponses she describes toward what sounds like needless stressors don't bode too well for managing the unavoidable ones, either.

[Jaybird310]

I've always encountered a bit of 'hazing' everytime I've switched hospitals but never anything like this. I recently went through a spell dealing with a co worker but she was one bad apple not the whole bunch.

Sounds to me like you're in a working environment filled with negativity and that breeds sickness even more so. I'm sorry you're so down about this. Our job is stressful enough without any additions being thrown on there. Do what you feel is best for yourself and your own personal stability. Not everyone's cut out to be a nurse and some don't find that out til they've been in the field.

[justme1972]

As a preceptor who takes my role as a mentor and a support person to a new grad nurse I take offense at your feelings that we are all "cows".[/quote']

She didn't say all nurses were "COWS" just the ones that bullied newer nurses.

[justme1972]

When you really think about it, what the OP says does make a ton of sense, and even though I am still in school, even in my short, 10-week stint as an extern this summer, I did see some of that.

Externs weren't so much of a target b/c nothing was expected of us, really. However, I did see this happen with new grads, and it was a sad thing to see.

We see posted on this board all the time how senior nurses are constantly complaining about the patient-to-staff ratio. Nursing recruiters are giving away pieces of the moon to recruit nurses to their hospital.

I also see written here all the time complaints about management, doctors, difficult family members, procedural changes with no-inservices, etc.

However....could it be that nurses are just as to blame for their own shortage if things like the OP said are happening?

[oramar]

It has been a year and a half since I left. I feel so good. My immune system has repaired itself, I no longer get ever infection that comes down the road. Also my chronic medical problems have quieted down. The best part is the emotional health, I feel so SANE. I feel so sane and so happy. That is not to say I will never go back. I probably could handle a job at the moment because I am doing so well. However, most people don't have the option of popping in and out like I do.

[Aneroo, LPN]

Not every place is like this. In fact, I'd venture to say that it's in the minority.

As a preceptor who takes my role as a mentor and a support person to a new grad nurse, I take offense at your feelings that we are all "cows".

One bad experience can shake you up, but if you really still want to be a nurse, then find another job where you will get the support you need.

No nurse deserves abuse - either at the hands of a patient or a coworker. Your anger at your situation is understandable, but you have to do something proactive, rather than resorting to namecalling and storming off in a huff.

I hope that you find a different job and realize that most places support and nurture their new grads.

Blee

I agree. I think you'll find those people in any workplace, whether it is a nursing home, the mall, or McDonald's.