I quit my job and am seriously considering quitting nursing

Blee O'Myacin, BSN, RN · Nov 25, 2008

Not every place is like this. In fact, I'd venture to say that it's in the minority.

As a preceptor who takes my role as a mentor and a support person to a new grad nurse, I take offense at your feelings that we are all "cows".

One bad experience can shake you up, but if you really still want to be a nurse, then find another job where you will get the support you need.

No nurse deserves abuse - either at the hands of a patient or a coworker. Your anger at your situation is understandable, but you have to do something proactive, rather than resorting to namecalling and storming off in a huff.

I hope that you find a different job and realize that most places support and nurture their new grads.

Blee

pacifica · Nov 25, 2008

Please see my post in Nurses eat their young.
I became a nurse because I am compassionate, bright (honour roll student), and would like to do nothing more than help people achieve good health, and get better. All that I've gotten from nursing is a decline in my own health and self esteem!!
It's true they do eat their young. And if they get proven wrong, because another nurse, or nurses stand up and say, that this particular nurse you are hazing is actually doing really well, they will resort to lying, and even threatening.
I was told I would deserve to be hit by a patient even though I was trying to de esculate as another nurse watched with a smirk on her face.
Why should I subject myself to this when I can do less stressful jobs for just a few bucks less, or do a job that pays more, but at least my health and self esteem are not targetted? Why? I did it because I LOVED my JOB, I loved working with my paatients and I worked DAMN HARD in nursing school and paid so much money to become one.
I draw the line here. Another nurse that will become INACTIVE because there are so many jobs out there that might be hard, but at least you don't get eaten, and lied about and manipulated on a daily basis. You know I can transfer my credits and get an accounting degree and make MORE MONEY. I can become an Architect and make more. I can work as a secretary and make only $7-8 buxz less than what I make with less stress (I've been a secretary before). I can get a goverment job and make wicked money with great benefits. What the hell am I still doing here? Because I love my job and patients? Yes but it's not worth my health and self esteem.
For those of you eating .. you are FAT COWS who will get waht you deserve.
For those of you who put up with it .. my condolences, there are opotions.
For those of you who think I'm CRAZY .. you are crazy for working in a place that promotes this ********, just becaause it didn't happen to you, I'm sure you saw it happen to someoen else who didn't deserve it!!
Am I mad .. HELL YEAH !! The nursing profession just lost an amazing nurse today. If most of the staff can admit to me doing a fine job, and I have to put up with 3 people (less than 95%) of the staff make up lies about me and get away with it, then nursing doesn't deserve good nurses like ME!! I am ready to stand up and take waht I deserve, which is to be treated like a civilized person, and not some dumbass freak that can be mocked at, belittled, ohhhhh and hit at :).

Well, you do seem a little upset. I can almost see the spittle covering your keyboard and monitor.

My axiom is don't take anything personally in the clinical setting, just try to learn what you can while staying above the fray. It seems to me you are trying to extrapolate your own bad experience so that it applies to everyone who works in nursing. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. But you calling other nurses "cows" while neglecting to pay attention to little details like spelling and punctuation tells me that it is a lack of maturity, rather than some evil conspiracy, that is causing you trouble in the workplace.

Best of luck. Perhaps you'll find happiness in another profession. Nursing will survive without you.

debi49 · Nov 25, 2008

Wow , sounds like an awful situation. Was this your first job as a nurse? Dont give up, there are so many other places where you can work. Take some time off and cool down and think of other types of nursing you can do. Maybe something that provides more autonomy, like home care, private duty, group homes, assisted living.

THis doesnt have the power to destroy your future. Take a break, and look at things again after the new year. :twocents:

Scrubby · Nov 25, 2008

[As a preceptor who takes my role as a mentor and a support person to a new grad nurse, I take offense at your feelings that we are all "cows".]

Ummmm she said that those nurses who are eating their young are all cows, so don't take it personally unless of course your one of them

Kudos to you for getting out of your work environment. :yeah: A lot of people just complain about the probs and work yet keep returning every day. At least you recognise that your worth being treated with respect, dignity and if you dont' get it then they are not worth working for.

I too have seen the bullying and the threats made to new people in this 'profession'. It's sickening and I have never heard or seen the amount of horizontal violence in any other profession barring nursing. It really is quite sad considering how much we all worked hard for getting our liscence.

Good luck in finding a new area to work in.

Midwest4me · Nov 25, 2008

It sounds like you've had one heck of a time and I'm very sorry to hear it. Hugs to you.:icon_hug:If others are lying about you, that's slander and perhaps you should consult a lawyer or your board of nursing.

Yes, there is a lOT of back-biting in nursing; I'm sure it occurs in other professions too. I'd have loved to quit this career years ago; now it's too late--I've been at it far too long and with this economy we're now in and so many lost jobs in varying fields, I can't afford to change careers. Think twice about leaving the profession; try seeking other specialties. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. God Bless!

BunnyRN · Nov 25, 2008

I understand that people can be hard to deal with, but, you could always try another facility to work in. Not all places are bad. Don't let other people's opinions of you whether true or not, influence your life. Remember, that you can't please everybody!!!

It's not fair, that good nurses are forced to quit their profession, but nursing has many opportunities. Perhaps this facility isn't the right fit. You never know you can become so much more at another facility.

God Bless:nurse:

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Nov 25, 2008

It sounds like you've had a horrible time of it. I'm sorry about that. Not all places are like that. Rather than getting out of nursing altogether, have you considered working in another facility or doing a different type of nursing?

CHATSDALE · Nov 25, 2008

nursing offers a lot of different fields

don't let your education go to waste

find another job

if you have worked in office then you might like to do chart checks

clinics

va or state hospital

home health

take a paralegal course and work for a lawyer

dialysis

the list is endless

hpe you find something where you are happy in working, we spend so much of life making a living it is imperative that we enjoy what we are doing

caliotter3 · Nov 25, 2008

If nursing is what you truly want to do then do not let these individuals stop you from doing it somewhere else. You got away from a bad situation. Bad situations can happen in any line of work, at any employer. There are many options in nursing that are waiting for you that will not entail having to deal with these people people ever again. Give yourself time to cool down from this bad scene before you make a decision that will affect what you do with the rest of your life. It is your life, don't allow them into your life any more. My condolences for this happening to you. I hope things even out for you and you find a place where you can work without being treated like this.

sandlewood_nurse · Nov 25, 2008

Thank you everyone for your feedback and support. I really do appreciate it. Thank you Scrubby for realizing that my spewing was not meant at all preceptors or nurses, but those who gives new nurses a hard time. I mentioned that there were supportive people on the unit, but I got stuck with the nurse who lied about me and twisted my words and actions. But yes it is sickening!! Especially considering how hard I've worked not just for my license but also in putting in extra hours to learn this particular specialty. I've encountered bullying and horizontal violence several times since nursing school (not always at me, but between other nurses). It's always made me reconsider nursing but then I decided why would I let a few bad apples ruin my dream?

I'm sad today, so sad. I don't want any part of this. Yes this type of stuff happens in other fields and jobs, but when I tell some of my non nursing friendsthey are SHOCKED that I even stuck around this long. They have commented on my hair loss, weight gain (in a constructive way), dark circles under my eyes, severe lack of energy on my days off and ask if I'm depressed since I started this new job. I have trouble sleeping, staying asleep, concentrating, I get no joy out of watching a movie or listening to music anymore, because I"m always thinking about work, and what I'm going through.

I think I'm not only dissapointed but I'm spewwing all this because I kept it all bottled up so long, because I wanted to just LEARN from this person. I thought if I kept my mouth shut and just did as she said, she would stop, but it only made it worst. She told me she doesn't care about the outcome, it's just a job and she just wants to do her job and go home. She called me a bad nurse. She only gave me negative feedback and I bought it hook line and sinker, until I recently started working with other staff and got mostly positive feedback. I was also hinted to by several staff that I was given very heavy loads compared to what I shodl be given. I started realizing that I was being set up. I still tried harder. But how can someone slander another in this profession and get a good nights sleep?

I want to have a good night's rest. It's been months since I slept well without drinking into a stupor on the odd occassion (my days off only of course). I won't sleep well tonight, but I talked about it with my family. For the first time they're being understanding. I think they've watched me detiorate all these months, and how hard I've worked and realized that its more than me complaining, it's physically really getitg to me too. I hate that I can't do what I love, but I have to take care of myself first. Maybe one day I will be ready to come back, but ON MY TERMS. Nobody will ever push me around again!!

I'm sorry for all of you that I've offended but I'm being honest. I am expressing what a lot of nurses feel (they tell me but pretend otherwise out of fear). I'm sorry for all the nurses that work hard and are AMAZING PRECEPTORS (i'VE HAD THOSE TOO!!). I'm sorry for all of you who work hard and don't need more negativity. Yes I know, it's depressing. And for those of you who have had NO PROBLEMS IN THE NURSING PROFESSION, You are so damn lucky, or completely brilliant .. a machine and I will hope for you and pray for you )actually all of you) that things continue being good for you, and not only that b ut they get better, because nursing is such hard workand we deserve to be treated with respect by each other and others.

Nurses are amazing heroes, but those nurses who bully and threaten other nurses, directly or indirectly, SHOULD NOT BE NURSES. You should be jail keepers.

Me. XOXO.

[As a preceptor who takes my role as a mentor and a support person to a new grad nurse, I take offense at your feelings that we are all "cows".]
Ummmm she said that those nurses who are eating their young are all cows, so don't take it personally unless of course your one of them
Kudos to you for getting out of your work environment. A lot of people just complain about the probs and work yet keep returning every day. At least you recognise that your worth being treated with respect, dignity and if you dont' get it then they are not worth working for.
I too have seen the bullying and the threats made to new people in this 'profession'. It's sickening and I have never heard or seen the amount of horizontal violence in any other profession barring nursing. It really is quite sad considering how much we all worked hard for getting our liscence.
Good luck in finding a new area to work in.

nurseinlimbo · Nov 25, 2008

Don't lose faith, there are good jobs, they are just harder to find, because they don't become vacant as often. I'm sure you see postings up for certain units all the time, any time there is high turnover you have to wonder why.

I had the same experiences as you, several times over. I think looking back that some of it was due to my lack of confidence and assertiveness, I didn't stand up for myself when I should have, and wasn't sure of my skills so let others beat me down. I spent many a night dreading going to work. Add to that the short shifts and OT we do and it's a recipe for exhaustion and depression.

I finally found a job I really like, where the people are friendly and happy, and the nurses don't spend half their shift looking for what the other shift didn't do. i don't know these people outside of work, and I probably never will, keep it separate, don't tell them much about you. It is a job, and you have to leave it at work.

Good luck to you, keep looking, it isn't all bad, it just takes a while to find the right place, and remember, everything always happens for a reason....