I'll try to keep this short but I don't know if I can do that.
My Mom died of Esophageal Varices 11.5 years ago. She was an acoholic/addict. Her death was not a surprise, actually she survived a lot longer than I expected.
My Dad divorced my Mom about 15 years ago. He really tried but nothing any of us did made a difference. She was petitioned several times and she made it more than clear, she didn't want help.
The last two years of her life she was dating "Ed." Ed was also an alcoholic. Nice guy, but still a drunk. He actually did make my Mom happy, he was good to her, he asked her to marry him and she accepted. She died before their wedding day.
It should be noted that my parents were quite wealthy. Not only did my Mom get half of everything, she also got quite a sum monthly from my Dad. She wasn't a gutter bum, not by a long shot.
11.5 years ago I finally received the call. I live in AZ and she lived in IA. She was dead and they suspected Ed of killing her. That didn't ring true at the time and as it turns out, they realized it was simply that she bled out. He was covered in blood but he claimed that was from doing chest compressions. With each compression, blood sprayed from her mouth and covered Ed in blood. Ed was cleared, we had the funeral, it was finally over.
A year ago Ed was found dead in his home. Natural causes due to alcoholism. Not a big surprise there either.
Recently I received a call from a police detective in Iowa wanting permission to dig up my Mom. They suspect she was murdered. ??? My Mom was an acoholic in poor health, it was no surprise that she died. This makes no sense.
Turns out....
Ed was actually married before. He never told us this. His wife disappeared and they never found her body. They have every reason to believe she is dead. (Long story)
My grandmother (my Mom's Mom) was found dead in her home, Ed was there with her. I really never thought anything of it because she was a COPDer and her death was expected. However Ed was alone with her and she died.
After my Mom died her housekeeper moved in with Ed. She died, Ed was the only one at home.
After the housekeeper died her daughter moved in with Ed. She was found dead along the highway driving Ed's car. She also had his ATM card and had taken money from his account.
Wow... we have Ed's first wife, my grandmother, my mom, her housekeeper, and her housekeeper's daughter. That's a lot of women dying in Ed's life.
The police detective is just now figuring out all the above. He is convinced Ed killed my Mom. He believes he gave her something to make her bleed out. Coumadin? Heparin? Lovenox? Ed was a medic in the army and was pretty good with drugs. He had an amazing knowledge of pharmacology.
The police detective claims he does not have enough evidence against Ed to dig up my Mom's body. He would like my permission as it would make his job easier. Need I remind the detective that Ed is dead???
On one hand I have a mentally ill sister that would not do well discovering my Mom was murdered. My other sister would cope, but not well.
On the other hand the family members of my Mom's housekeeper and her daughter need some answers.
I don't know what to think.
My questions are.... Can they really determine if my Mom was given anticoag's causing her death? She's been dead for 11.5 years.
How do I determine which has more value, making my sister nuttier than she already is discovering that perhaps my Mom was murdered or giving the other family some answers?
I don't know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm especially interested in the anticoags issue. Does anyone have any info? I've researched this but unable to find anything reliable.