I just need some advice - or a hug. One or the other.

Davey Do · Jul 31, 2017

Hi Doxie loverRN. Welcome to AN.com!

It sounds like you've got quite a bit of stress on you right now. My heart goes out to you. It also sounds as though you're working on dealing with your stress through prayer and action. Good for you!

Know that his situation, like all things, shall pass away.

Keep on keeping on.

Here's your hug: :hug:

vanilla bean · Jul 31, 2017

Sounds like you should be looking for another job (if you're not already); "praying for a day shift" may not get you the results you want or need. Your telemetry experience may make you a desirable candidate for jobs that are usually (mostly) day shift, like periop, PACU, cath lab, etc. Good luck.

audreysmagic, RN · Jul 31, 2017

Hey, there! Have a hug. ((((Doxie_loverRN))))

I feel you. I'm entering the "crispy around the edges" phase of being burned out in my current position, and it's never a fun place to be. (To borrow a meme - a cinnamon roll, left in the oven too long, slightly charred.) I've not cried in the med room recently, but I've been there before, and I know that dread too well. Taking action is the best thing you can do, I think, honestly. Apply elsewhere, as you've been doing, and vent away. There's the perfect day shift job out there somewhere that needs a nurse like you!

Davey Do · Jul 31, 2017

I feel you. I'm entering the "crispy around the edges" phase of being burned out in my current position, and it's never a fun place to be.

There must be something going around, Audrey Smagic- For the last several months, I too, have felt burned out. I'm hoping it's only a transient thing.

I haven't cried in the restroom lately, but in the med room during a stressful time last shift, I recited one of my favorite mantras several times: "My happiness does not depend on what others do or what happens around me. My happiness is a result of being at peace with myself".

Reciting that mantra worked so well, a new Tech asked me where I got all the energy to do my job.

Sometimes, we just have to fake it 'til we make it.

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Jul 31, 2017

Big hugs! Sounds like it's time to move on. You've got over a year of solid RN experience; you may be surprised at the doors this will open!

llg, PhD, RN · Jul 31, 2017

I agree with the previous posters who say it is time to move on. It sounds like you are someone who doesn't like straight nights -- and who has been unable to get enough sleep on a regular basis. That by itself will make anyone cry. So now that you have a year of solid experience, figure out what type of job would suit you best and start applying.

Don't give up on the whole profession because 1 job didn't fit your needs well.

Good luck!

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 31, 2017

Med -surg float on nights is a very STRESSFUL position. Patients, families, doctors, are NOT going to appreciate what you do.

You are describing clinical depression, time to talk to your provider.

Also , time to do something about it. You have enough experience to make a change. Please do so.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 31, 2017

Hi everyone - new user here!
I have been working my first job as a registered nurse at a community based hospital since April 2016 and I am very sad to say that I think I hate it
I have worked as a med-surf float and more recently on the telemetry unit. I can't help but feel a never ending sense of anxiety when it comes to work. We are always understaffed and the acuity has been so high lately. I can't even keep up some nights and have had to go to the break room or medroom to cry. It's embarrassing, but sometimes I can't help it. There was a night where I had two heparin drips, a combative/high fall risk dementia patient, a blood transfusion, as well as getting hit with two admissions within two hours of each other - An unfair assignment in my opinion.
Just when I feel as if I am advancing in the nursing practice, I feel like I take 10 steps backwards. Then on top of it, I have experienced some very mean/rude patients. I get it, they're in a time where they are vulnerable and sick, but being called a "useless b****" because I told a patient we ran out of turkey sandwiches (at 2am) doesn't sit well with me.
I want to cry before every shift and I feel depressed. Sometimes even on my days off. I work night shift 7P-7A and it does not help that my boyfriend works first shift. There are weeks where we will go 4 straight days without seeing each other, and we live together! I can never sleep right during the day, or now even at night for that matter. Hence why I am up at 0230 venting.
I have been desperately applying to other areas of nursing and praying for a day shift. I know people who work in outpatient settings and absolutely love their jobs. I am envious because I wanted nothing more than to love nursing, and this job makes me feel the total opposite.
Sorry for the the long rant and thanks to those who read it! I just had to get that out there.
Love to all!

You've been a nurse for 15 months now? On your own for about a year?

We always say that the first year after nursing licensure is miserable -- in my day we called it "reality shock" -- but that's just a ballpark. It took me about a year and a half before I felt that "click" and things started falling into place. It was longer than that before I noticed that I was happy to be going to work instead of crying in the car on the way in, on the way home or in the bathroom at work. I was perhaps a slow starter. You may be one as well. Doesn't mean you won't be confident and competent down the road.

Now the verbally abusive patients -- it makes for a stressful night, of course, but you cannot let them dictate your mood. Yes, they're jerks and yes, it sucks. You pretty much have to learn to let that sort of nonsense roll off your back. You can't change them, but you can change how you react to it. I'd rather laugh than cry, so I try to find something funny about the situation. I remind myself that it will be a good story in six months or so. (Now I crack myself up remembering the guy who threatened to sue me "for everything you have ever owned or ever will own" if I didn't get him a great big glass of water right this minute. Of course he was on a fluid restriction. Or the woman who called me a "nasty axx fat white (bad word that means female dog) with a nasty attitude" because I took exception to her throwing poop at my colleague. She was alert and oriented, just mean.)

Sounds as though perhaps you have some clinical depression going on. Before you do anything else, please look into that.

If you're not sleeping well on night shift, figure out why. Is it the sun shining in your bedroom window at 2:00? Perhaps a black-out curtain, a shade, eye mask or aluminum foil over the windows. Is it the neighbors mowing their lawn? A large, industrial strength fan will provide enough white noise to drown out someone moving into your house while you're trying to sleep. (Ask me how I know this.) Is it that you're not managing your sleep/wake cycle appropriately? Some folks have to stay on a night shift schedule even on their days off. You can still see your boyfriend in the evenings -- my husband and I were like ships passing in the night (in the lobby of our hospital) three days a week for years. If you need to take something to sleep, take it. Benadryl worked for me, Melatonin works for a lot of people. Now that I'm trying to be awake in the daytime and sleep at night, Ambien is the only thing that works. But your milage may vary.

Please look into the depression. Start with that.

Yorker · Jul 31, 2017

I agree with Ruby Vee, the first year as a nurse was the hardest for me and some shifts still are. Things will get better. Try for little bit more and see how it goes but if the night shift is ruining your life then you need to change .U can try ambulatory surgery, OR, PACU, Dr. Office, IR etc. Hang in there, unfortunately , the burn out in nursing is coming way too early now than in older times due to constant understaffing , lack of resources, lack of strong nurses to raise their voice and of course the non caring management.

Everline · Aug 1, 2017

You have the experience. There are so many other places and specialties you can work. Being a nurse does not have to be miserable. You can actually like your job, sleep at night and have a life. Consider moving on.

Workitinurfava, BSN, RN · Aug 1, 2017

What a shame. It is getting so bad everywhere. Too many pts, too little time and the list goes on and on.