I just can't do this anymore...

Nurses General Nursing

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I have come to realize that this is not the line of work for me. I dropped out of nursing school once because I didn't like it, but my family urged me to go back, so I did. I got my LVN and then continued on to get my RN. I failed the last semester of RN school, so I didn't quite make it.

I have worked in LTC, home heath, and now I work in a doctor's office. Here I am, hating it, dreading going to work every day, sometimes fighting back the tears as I drive to work. I am so utterly miserable! My job also does not offer me any health insurance, and I have some health and dental problems that I cannot address because of this. I work in the little lab of a clinic where all I do is venipunctures and injections and anything else that the other nurses don't have time/don't want to do.

I have looked for and applied for other non-nursing jobs that pay okay and offer the benefits that I need, but here is the problem: my husband is TICKED off. I have tried discussing it with him and he knows how miserable I am. But he gets a disability check that doesn't come close to paying all of the bills. He has told me that there is no way I am going to go get a non-nursing job, wasting my education and still having to pay back the student loans (that he made me take out in the first place). He says I am being selfish by seeking out a lower-paying job. Also, I think maybe he would be embarrassed to tell his family as well? I gently reminded him that he has quit jobs that he hated in the past, when we had no other income at the time...!

Anyway, I am not here to whine, so I apologize. But I would appreciated some advice. I don't know how much longer I can do this!!

Thanks everyone. Thanks for that link Biff! It gives me a few ideas. And I have tried talking with him, that always ends up the same. I appreciate the advice.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, as we all know. It always WILL end up the same. Always. That what you want to spend your only time on the planet doing?

Your primary problem, which you will have no matter where you work, is that you are with a man who doesn't want the best for you, blames you for all the problems, and probably doesn't seek out any kind of work he could do because he's become dependent on that check coming in... and you, also a convenient recipient of abuse.

So, in my opinion (been there, done that, recovered), while I completely get how overwhelmed and unsupported you feel, your first job is to get free of him. I mean it. The unknown that could be better is always scarier than the known lousy, but while we don't understand why our patients don't do something that would clearly be better for them, we do the same stupid things ourselves. Take the leap. Believe me, it will be better. You deserve it.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Your husband sounds like a winner... (note sarcasm).

Life is too short. Screw him and find something that makes you happy or at least is tolerable. Your husband isn't the one having to work your job...YOU are. Remember that.

I guess we will never know the outcome, the OP hasn't been here since January....

My ex waited to ask for seperation till just after my rn graduation. Had been a lvn for years. Left.me for some girl. Left her for her friend. Endend up layong child and spousal support. I was not a happy camper. Nowa few decades.later I am thinking if leaving nursing. You are at crissriads in life. Take a moment to think what you want and need. How hard are you willing to fight ir ket go fir your needs abd values. Only you know this. Take some time. Thus decisiin does bit have to be nade today or thus week. Hugs and good luck.

Specializes in Thoracic Cardiovasc ICU Med-Surg.

You know what? I know many a nurse who works two jobs to support a dude/husband/BF on disability. I am sorry but your husband is a douchebag.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
You know what? I know many a nurse who works two jobs to support a dude/husband/BF on disability. I am sorry but your husband is a douchebag.

Couldn't have said it better myself :)

Specializes in CCRN, ED, Unit Manager.

lol @ husband being a douchebag.

the OP claimed that the husband made her take out student loans.

lack of personal responsibility = a 1 reply topic, lol

Specializes in FNP, ONP.
I guess we will never know the outcome, the OP hasn't been here since January....

I hate it when old posts that the OP has never returned to get dragged back up:sour:

I need to remember to check the dates!

Specializes in ICU/PACU.

Can you dump the husband?

I hate it when old posts that the OP has never returned to get dragged back up:sour:

I need to remember to check the dates!

I myself don't mind when old posts are responded to. I just now read through all the posts and can relate in some ways to OP (except my husband is overall supportive. ) So it was beneficial for me to read the posts. They really gave me some food for thought, so I'm glad I stumbled upon this thread.

There are so many women who are "stuck" in a situation that is controlling and abusive.

We can all say that the husband is a large jerk, sitting home on the disability while the OP is working her butt off--and yes, he is a large jerk. But sometimes, we can't see the forrest through the trees. Especially for those of us who are nurses and "supposed" to be compassionate and all the other things that make us want to take care of other people.

I would advise anyone to look up local women's support groups, a counselor, abuse prevention. Because I can see how a husband "makes" a wife do things that perhaps she doesn't feel comfortable with. But with that type of control, no job is going to be a good fit, as the stress from living under that control can be overwhelming.

Rumor has it the person that files first does better.

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