Clinical portion was difficult for me. Typically there were 6 to 8 of us students per clinical. I was quiet in school. Most of the students in my small program were part of a clique. It should be noted that most were hispanic. I'm white but I speak Spanish well. I can't count how many times I heard "this white girl this" "this white girl that." That did not help me want to make friends. (Oh the surprised looks on their faces when they saw I understood them when they spoke spanish) I was about a decade older, so they were young. Most very gossipy. I despise gossip. I remember watching students laughing and talking to each other, to then see one of them walk away, and the remaining girls laugh behind her back. Bottom line, I stayed out of it. I remained cordial, smiled at my class mates, laughed when appropriate, Participated in group conversations. But, staying out of gossip made me an out cast.
During clinical the other students cliqued up while I focused on the work. I still made sure I worked as part of a team. We didn't have to like each other, but I respected them on the job and offered and accepted assistance when needed.
I recall during one of my clinical reviews, my instructor saying that I did not act as part of the group. I wanted to say, "your point?" But, she herself being young and gossipy even with the students, apparently judged me by this. Not by my clinical skills, judgement, paper assignments, presentations...I don't believe she even noticed how frequently I offered my assistance to both classmates and staff; she had already made her mind up about me. I wasn't trying to be buddy buddy, and that really affected how 2 of my instructors viewed me.
It wasn't til a year after I graduated that I met up with an old clinical instructor who then admitted to me that when I came to her clinical rotation the other instructors "warned" her about me. She told me that all during clinical, she could not see what those instructors meant AT ALL. This instructor gave me an incredible letter of recommendation and allowed me to take her NRP class for free.
***SOME**** instructors have preconceived notions about students, and it meant the world to me that my OB clinical instructor said to me in reference to those other instructors, "screw 'em."