i'm a float rn, right now filling in at a middle school clinic. it's a very hectic clinic, 6th,7th, 8th graders coming in for all sorts of real and not so real complaints. a boy came in and complained of stomach pain, 'something moving in there', which was atypical of course, so i chalked it up to gas pains and explained that since he had just come from lunch that was probably the cause (after the regular assessment). no, he said, his lunch was taken away, so he had not eaten anything. his affect was grim, depressed, serious. of course i probed about the lunch being taken, and tears spilled from his eyes as he shrugged and said, 'someone took it'. he didn't offer much. he just acted like it wasn't worth explaining. it was like pulling teeth to get information. we walked toward guidance and he was reluctant, saying he didn't want to go. he slumped, literally to the floor. he answered my questions, admitting being bullied but teachers not doing anything, even a dean not doing anything, and the bullying having gotten worse after they found out. he was terrified about being a 'snitch'. he cried and felt the situation was hopeless, he said he was 'just so tired'.
i called his grandmother, with whom he and his mother live (his dad died). his grandmother said that they knew about bullying earlier, that kids had thrown blue kool aid in his face and he had problems on the bus, but that lately he denied any bullying and when they asked him at home he had told them it was all taken care of. this clearly wasn't true. she wondered why he would say that if he was still having problems. i voiced my concerns that he may feel hopeless, that he didn't feel any way of improving the situation and he did not want to go to guidance, or even really tell me what was happening. i told her i was concerned for his psychological safety. (i didn't tell her that last month an eighth grader committed suicide).
i asked her to pick him up instead of ride the bus today and i would keep him the clinic until then due to his state of being so upset.
i bought him pb crackers and let him rest on the cot. going to check on him he pointed to a sort of spot on the wall and said it looked like a person and defined the nose , etc. didn't think too much of that even though i couldnt see what he was talking about, but then he admitted that he sometimes heard voices. (grandmother said this happened once before when he was younger) he didn't want to talk about it, but all he would say was they were mad and yelling but he couldn't understand what they were saying. psychotic break?
school let out, i walked him to find his grandma's car in the car line.
talked to my supervisor, she's aware. apparently he was bullied before, it led to a fight, and the bully and he were suspended, so the dean is aware of the problem.
he seems hopeless. and why wouldn't he? and i have a bad feeling.
question: this is probably sketchy, but if principles and deans and teachers are aware of bullying, and acting as children's guardians during school, and doing nothing to protect the child, are they subject to being reported to dcf/hrs for neglect or failure to protect a child? am i mandated to report them?
I"ve read your post several times, you mention that you debated on posting it...I'm glad you decided to post it.
Karma is real and I think this kid is the reason you were filling in at that school clinic today. He needs to be heard and understood, you are probably the first person to really hear and understand.
My heart doesn't break or bleed for much, but it does for things like this. He seems like a deeply troubled kid.
I believe something much bigger than what it seems on the surface is at work here. You have an important day ahead of you tomorrow....I'll keep you and him in my thoughts.
This just rubs me the very wrong way. He is only a child- I want to wring the ears of those bullies and tell them a thing or two for terrifying this child.
Bullies are nothing but big babies. I was once bullied in high school by this particular "big" girl. She was big literally, she bullied everyone because of her size. Until one day, I said enough- I hated being scared and not being able to speak. Her specialty? Taunting people.
I was quaking but stood up to her, I taunted her right back, smiling all the while. LOL, imagine I and the other kids surprise when this big girl opened her mouth and bawled like the baby she was. Makes me smile even now.
After that day, all the taunting ended, to me and all other kids. We had seen her weak point. And oh, I sat on her too.Memories.
But back to this kid, something needs to be done. I cannot imagine one kid, a kid, making life miserable for another.
This poor kid needs some help. You're not over-reacting. Bullying can lead to life-long effects. I used to get bullied mercilessly when I was his age. I completely understand where this kid comes from. Please, Please, Please help this boy. He needs you.
Can you talk to the bully's parents? I would tell them you've observed their son picking on this kid and the kid being scared. Have his mom talked to this kid's parents?
That can work in Elementary school where more primal agression factors are the cause of child bullying.. but we are talking about middle school here, preteen and teen aged kids. The bullies you tend to see in middle and high schools are more often than not bullied at home, talking to parents in this instance frequently makes the problem worse.
You mentioned another eighth grader committed suicide not long ago. I wonder if bullying were an issue for that student. And I wonder if this current student knew that child, maybe he needs some grief counseling? Seems like your school should be extra sensitive to sad/bullied children so they don't have another suicide on their hands. That poor kid. I'm glad you're back there tomorrow to light a fire under these school administrators and get this child protected and mentally evaluated. You've done great so far. I prayed for you and the boy. Let us know what happens.
question: this is probably sketchy, but if principles and deans and teachers are aware of bullying, and acting as children's guardians during school, and doing nothing to protect the child, are they subject to being reported to dcf/hrs for neglect or failure to protect a child? am i mandated to report them?
this is what i was thinking. there's a principle called in loco parentis which says the school acts in the place of the parents while the child is in school. and it doesn't sound like they're doing their job. so it seems like you have an affirmative obligation to notify your child protective service. more than that, i think these people need to be visited the police and encouraged to get their heads out of the sand. preferably before this poor kid gets hold of a gun, someday, and decides to solve the problem himself. seriously. this kind of thing can't be ignored.
Another point that might get this kid some help: imagine if his family got a lawyer. From what I've heard, school boards are even a little more scared of being sued than hospitals are.
This is what I was thinking. There's a principle called in loco parentis which says the school acts in the place of the parents while the child is in school. And it doesn't sound like they're doing their job. So it seems like you have an affirmative obligation to notify your child protective service. More than that, I think these people need to be visited the police and encouraged to get their heads out of the sand. Preferably before this poor kid gets hold of a gun, someday, and decides to solve the problem himself. Seriously. This kind of thing can't be ignored.
There are a million reasons that you are right for feeling like you should do something. Change starts with one person. The squeaky wheel gets oiled. He is young and needs someone to be that person that stands up for him to make sure something changes. Please please keep us updated and no matter how the school may make you think your overreacting your gut and a forum full of nurses knows your not!
supernatural
14 Posts
i think it sounds like you should.