I hate nurses, what should I do?

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Jan 31, 2009

When I worked tach support, we had to arrange our own shift coverage. I had no prolem coverig people's shifts, but the one time I really needed coverage, no one would cover mine. So I stopped covering shifts. After that, I only covered shifts for people who covered mine.

amjowens · Feb 1, 2009

When I worked tach support, we had to arrange our own shift coverage. I had no prolem coverig people's shifts, but the one time I really needed coverage, no one would cover mine. So I stopped covering shifts. After that, I only covered shifts for people who covered mine.

I think this kind of reactionary stuff is the basis of the whole problem. I mean, the "mean" nurses get treated badly by some rude doctor or mean instructors in the past, then go on to be bitter to a person more vulnerable than her. Or as the ex given, we don't get treated the way we should, so we start lowering OUR standards and, as the ex, not doing kindnesses for others. It's pretty insane, if you think about it. I can't say I'm "above" this, but I'm going to try to get off this awful cycle and think about the person and nurse I want to be before going on to make life difficult for others around me after being treated badly. This has been an eye opening thread, really, with all it's generalizations about groups of people, as well as seeing why some nurses may be so anti-social (simply covering themselves).

silentRN · Feb 1, 2009

I've been a nurse for over a year now. At first I thought it was being new that other nurses abused me. Now I know that it's because they are just ********. I am to the point of leaving nursing all together. There are a million jobs in this state and I've tried three of them in one year and its all the same. Nurses eat nurses. Why??
I love my patients truly and it's a great day when I know I've made a difference for them. So why is it that I can be on cloud 9 because I did something great for a patient and then five minutes later the other nurses have made me feel insignificant?
Once every 3 to 4 weeks where I use to work, the rotation would come up that it was all male nurses on the unit. This was the one night that I looked foward to the most. We all got along and had fun all night. But then the next night would role around and there might be me and one other guy and then it was back to same old crapp. Do woman nurses hate male nurse? Should I just quit nursing? I really dont know what to do anymore. I have tried so hard to be nice and caring not only for my patients but for co-workers also. It gets me nowhere. They always ask me to cover their shift for them on my nights off and I have every time. But, when I ask them to it for me, no one ever has. So, last night was the first time that I have ever said NO. Now that nurse wont speak to me. AAHHHHHHH!!!! What do I do?????

Sometimes the best thing to do is just be an ******** back to them. HA! Then they just leave you alone cause now you are the ********. I'm not a big fan of battle-axes. There is this one lady on the unit that just her presence stresses people out. I asked her a simple question and she just ripped me a new one. So I replied by saying "God, I'm sorry I was ever born. I'll just go home and off myself over this if it makes you happy." And then I just walked away. But it made me feel good to reply with a smart reaction. Don't let them roll over you. Be an ******** back with some smart remark. Probably not what you wanted to hear. :idea:

HM2VikingRN, RN · Feb 1, 2009

My women coworkers prefer to work with the men. The unit is usually quieter and there is less craziness in general between staff.

Bossy Boss · Feb 1, 2009

You will encounter mean people at any job you do. Trust me on this. Just be the best nurse you can be, don't worry about the small stuff.Some people are just mad at the world,no matter how many times you tried being nice to them. They will see, that they can't get underneath your skin and that is when they will know you could care less what they think. Just do your thing.

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2009

You will encounter mean people at any job you do. Trust me on this. Just be the best nurse you can be, don't worry about the small stuff.Some people are just mad at the world,no matter how many times you tried being nice to them. They will see, that they can't get underneath your skin and that is when they will know you could care less what they think. Just do your thing.

I totally agree with your post. As one poster stated about being an ********....I'm not the kind of person that can be an ******** right back, that's just not me. I treat people the way I want to be treated and that is with RESPECT. I've learned, esp in nursing, that if you want respect, you must give it, no matter what. Defend or stand up for yourself if you must, but be respectful about it, we are all on the same team here.

tmesk · Feb 1, 2009

No don't quit!!! Remember why you wanted to go into nursing and dont' let someone else get in the way of your dreams! If your at this point then I would suggest approaching the indivual upfront and tell them how you feel. Some people truly don't realize that they are being rude or have negative communication skills. If you dont' want to do a 'face to face' then go to your manager and tell her how you've been treated. If they are a good manager she will confront the problem and deal with it. Nurses have a way of 'eating their young'. We dont' nurture and support new nurses as we should. I feel terrible that you are being placed in this predicament, please talk to your manager! You didnt' come this far in your career to give up now because of nasty coworkers! Take a stand and let your voice be heard.

SoundofMusic · Feb 2, 2009

But when is anyone going to do something about it? I have heard through the grapevine that Jhaco is now going to start doing something about horizontal violence? Well, duh -- isn't it about time? Why is it tolerated??

I am about 18 months into nursing now and see all types. Many are just so nasty and will never be fixed. They've been allowed to be that way for too long, and no one ever calls them on it. Face it -- this behavior is TOLERATED in nursing.

I started out as a nice person also on my unit -- and believe me, it has gotten me nowhere. I believe many enjoy working with me, but there are others who just don't like me because I'm "too nice." I mean -- what is up with that?

So, I've become sort of insular. I come to work, don't say much to anyone, just do my job, get through the shift, work as well as I can with others, and go home. But there isn't a lot of satisfaction in that -- in NOT having truly meaningful and cooperative, mutually respectful relationships with your co-workers -- in always having to "watch your back." It's just, I feel, the number ONE reason, behind the entitlement attitude of patients and their families, that I want to high tail out of bedside nursing in a civlian hospital. Combine that with the constant pressue to be a customer service rep and not a nurse -- and you have a situation that in time becomes very intolerable.

I am considering a military hospital also -- or OR nursing, or something very soon, as soon as my initial obligation is fulfilled. Or home health, or hospice -- anything that gets me away from these miserable people. I've had it with them -- and many ARE older, and miserable. You hear it as soon as you start to hear the details of many of their home lives. Well, I'm sorry -- it's wrong to take it own on your co-workers, and it should not be tolerated -- but it is. And I don't see JHACO or anyone else being able to change it anytime soon.

None of this is to say that there aren't good and polite nurses out there - there are many -- but the bad apples seem far more numerous when you are new.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Feb 2, 2009

Hmm - am I the only one picking up on some "don't like working with women" vibes here from the OP & others? OP says he really likes working with the guys - it's just us "girls" that make his life miserable. Another poster refers to "girlie games".

Seems as though OP does not see himself as one of 'them'. If so, this is probably coming across in his interactions as well. Deep-seated feelings and attitudes are impossible to mask, especially to people who have as much skill in human communication as nurses.

Hey, misogyny is not cool. The reality is - Nursing is (and probably will remain for some time) >85% female. If working in a female environment is troublesome, that would be a real problem for anyone who doesn't like women. When I have worked in all male environments, I adapted; learned sports metaphors, attended lunch meetings at Hooters, removed adjectives from my written communications.... I'm just sayin'

LogCabinMom · Feb 2, 2009

I think this is a great topic because I am also new to nursing (5 months) and I'm having problems with the people I work with too... I worked for 10 years in business and always seemed to get along with co-workers but nurses seem to be a different breed. You just have no idea what you can say to another nurse without it getting chopped up and passed around and it comes back to bite you in the butt.

srahamim, ASN, MSN · Feb 3, 2009

"I think this is a great topic because I am also new to nursing (5 months) and I'm having problems with the people I work with too... I worked for 10 years in business and always seemed to get along with co-workers but nurses seem to be a different breed. You just have no idea what you can say to another nurse without it getting chopped up and passed around and it comes back to bite you in the butt. "

As someone who worked over 20 years in Information systems and applications development - the hardest thing I had to learn about nursing was how to fit in to the "nursing culture" - I'm still not sure if I've mastered it :-) now I work in a blood center with a real environment of process improvement instead of looking to find fault and get one in trouble - much better place!

RN in Feb '05

Ruby Vee, BSN · Feb 3, 2009

someone who entitles his post "i hate nurses" is having difficulty getting along with the nurses he works with? what a surprise!