I've been a nurse for over a year now. At first I thought it was being new that other nurses abused me. Now I know that it's because they are just ********. I am to the point of leaving nursing all together. There are a million jobs in this state and I've tried three of them in one year and its all the same. Nurses eat nurses. Why??
I love my patients truly and it's a great day when I know I've made a difference for them. So why is it that I can be on cloud 9 because I did something great for a patient and then five minutes later the other nurses have made me feel insignificant?
Once every 3 to 4 weeks where I use to work, the rotation would come up that it was all male nurses on the unit. This was the one night that I looked foward to the most. We all got along and had fun all night. But then the next night would role around and there might be me and one other guy and then it was back to same old crapp. Do woman nurses hate male nurse? Should I just quit nursing? I really dont know what to do anymore. I have tried so hard to be nice and caring not only for my patients but for co-workers also. It gets me nowhere. They always ask me to cover their shift for them on my nights off and I have every time. But, when I ask them to it for me, no one ever has. So, last night was the first time that I have ever said NO. Now that nurse wont speak to me. AAHHHHHHH!!!! What do I do?????
someone who entitles his post "i hate nurses" is having difficulty getting along with the nurses he works with? what a surprise!
actually, i hate nurses, too, but i did (and still do) resist that feeling.
i started out (and still cultivate) with an attitude of respect and goodwill, but over the years that has eroded to an anxiety-ridden hyper-vigilance. i don't like most nurses and i don't trust nurses, either. i have never been so disrespected, lied to, lied about, harassed, set-up, betrayed or back-stabbed as i have from nurses. i am disgusted and horrified by nursing culture and continuously look for ways to feel compassion for people who behave this way.
feel free to jump on the big pile of abusers and blame this person for the abuse she has taken, but if you think it is her imagination, i am here to tell you, it just ain't so. nurses are really, really horrible to each other.
it is a well known anthropological saw that disenfranchised usually turn against each other. since women haven't had much status or voice, they have in the past turned to manipulation, whisper wars and passive-agressive behavior, usually against each other, or someone weaker (new nurse), since they are not brave enough to attack administration or stand up to the things that are really harming them. a great number of women will sell each other out for a small crumb of recognition or recompense. i don't like working in the pink ghetto.
i am very pro-woman, but really, nursing culture is a hot mess.
So, I've become sort of insular. I come to work, don't say much to anyone, just do my job, get through the shift, work as well as I can with others, and go home. But there isn't a lot of satisfaction in that -- in NOT having truly meaningful and cooperative, mutually respectful relationships with your co-workers -- in always having to "watch your back." It's just, I feel, the number ONE reason, behind the entitlement attitude of patients and their families, that I want to high tail out of bedside nursing in a civlian hospital. Combine that with the constant pressue to be a customer service rep and not a nurse -- and you have a situation that in time becomes very intolerable.
So, I've become sort of insular. I come to work, don't say much to anyone, just do my job, get through the shift, work as well as I can with others, and go home. But there isn't a lot of satisfaction in that -- in NOT having truly meaningful and cooperative, mutually respectful relationships with your co-workers -- in always having to "watch your back." It's just, I feel, the number ONE reason, behind the entitlement attitude of patients and their families, that I want to high tail out of bedside nursing in a civlian hospital. Combine that with the constant pressue to be a customer service rep and not a nurse -- and you have a situation that in time becomes very intolerable.
I really agree with this entitlement attitude.
I still love you.
LOL this is what I say to all the nurses that treat me like crap. Or the ones that don't talk to me. It at least makes them smile. Or puts them in a worser temper. eh.
I do agree with you though it hard when you feel like you have to watch your back all the time. It plain out sucks. Especially with everything else we have to deal with that is why so many good nurses leave. We can only hope that there will be a time when nurses won't take crap out on each other.
I like to think I am making a difference on the floor. There are less fights and complaining when I am there and now the nurses are calling me the scene calming person but its not easy that is for sure.
I've had these same experiences. And it always seems to be the same female nurses who are downright witchy with me -- the tired, overweight, haggard, jaded ones. They are miserable with their life and will do anything and all they can to make sure everyone else around them is just as miserable. As soon as these types retire or die (whatever one is quicker), the better for nursing!
UHHHH OOOHHHH! Hold it there HotDrew....You may have had some nurses who just happen to be overweight who meet the other criteria as have I but being overweight is not a characteristic of behaving badly toward your coworkers!!! I work with several overweight nurses who are by far the best you would ever ask for. I happen to be a bit overweight myself and tend to be pretty enthusiastic, friendly and supportive. I also am quiet happy with my life so please keep you predjudices out of your appraisal of your meanspirited coworkers. Of the nurses who were nasty to me my first year, only one was even a little overweight and she is indeed jaded and unhappy with her life, but the 5 skinny ones were too. For the 5 or 6 jerks I have had at least 10 angels and the rest were okay. They came in all shapes, sizes and genders. Betcha if you think about it :idea:you can think of at least one great coworker who was a zoftig or bodacious gal!
But when is anyone going to do something about it? I have heard through the grapevine that Jhaco is now going to start doing something about horizontal violence? Well, duh -- isn't it about time? Why is it tolerated??
I am considering a military hospital also -- or OR nursing, or something very soon, as soon as my initial obligation is fulfilled. Or home health, or hospice -- anything that gets me away from these miserable people. I've had it with them -- and many ARE older, and miserable. You hear it as soon as you start to hear the details of many of their home lives. Well, I'm sorry -- it's wrong to take it own on your co-workers, and it should not be tolerated -- but it is. And I don't see JHACO or anyone else being able to change it anytime soon.
None of this is to say that there aren't good and polite nurses out there - there are many -- but the bad apples seem far more numerous when you are new.
Again...Have you not had a particular older nurse who went out of her way to show you the ropes? My best mentor was older....around my age (57) or more. I have also had the honor of working with a 77 year old nurse who is absolutely delightful. 2 of the biggest jerks were much younger 20 and 36 to be exact. Jerks come in all ages, just like good people. Your experiences are not that different from mine, but I am going to stick with the job I love and treat people with respect who deserve it. If they don't show me respect then I don't feel obligated to go out of my way to be kind or respectful to them. Don't bite me unless you want to be bitten back. I am still new and make mistakes, but won't be walked on, ignored, yep thats okay, I don't have to have a lot of attention because I am okay with me. If someone is having a bid day it isn't neccesarily a characteristic of age.
I agree. People can be mean at any age. Do the the best job you can, treat others how you would like to be treated. And don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It is a high stress job, most of the time we are working short staff. And dealing with some really sick people. I am a mentor and help train new nurses & paramedics. I see a trend of more people get into nursing because of the pay & travel experience. If your heart is not into it will be hard to be consider one of the staff.
But if you did get into nursing because you did want to make a change, don't let someone mess up your day because they are mad. If you need positive feed back, try to improve your patent's outcome. Let him thank you.
Yikes.. I'm starting to feel this way too, and I too am a new nurse. I have absolutely NO problem with the male nurses I work with. I find them respectful and helpful. MOST (maybe two are the exception) of the female nurses are impatient, demeaning, disrespectful, and downright miserable. I do my best as a nurse, taking excellent care of my patients - but find these women can sour the rest of my e.o.s.r. by just knowing they are taking over one of my patients (to whom I'll have to give report). They nit-pick at everything I say, and interrupt constantly... Horrible people.. just absolutely rotten to the core.
I'll be your leaning post guys and gals who are dealing with a similar situation... we can beat this (even if we can't beat them.. hahaha).:icon_hug:
I understand the OP message. I only have one "physco nurse" where I work but man she can ruin your whole night. I try to have it roll off my back but sometimes it just gets to you.
She actually told me I could not sit in there chair I was sitting in to chart something really quick... I must stand. ***! I ended up telling her she was ridiculous and walking off. She tried to get me wrote up for it... STUPID!
This lady is miserable, awful, nasty, and RUDE! She treats both residents and employees like crap, she talks down to them and finds fault in anything. She is ALWAYS trying to make someone else look bad so she can look good. I can not stand the lady, she is the only person I absolutely can not stand at the facility. And no one else can stand the lady either everyone just thinks she is a witch!
After being used as her personal doormat I am mad at myself for allowing this to happen! I have not "Called her out" on her behavior as I am trying to respect the chain of command. However, I am NOT her personal doormat and I REFUSE to be treated like it. The next time this happens I am standing up for myself, there is such thing as basic human respect and this lady lacks it! I treat her with respect and I expect it back. I respect myself and I feel like I do the best job possible, all my residents are well cared for and I am well respected by the job that I do by everyone but the witchy nurse.
I can assure you that the next time she storms down the hallway to bark at me to pick up a piece of paper (that she just walked past twice) I am going to tell her that it is her job as much as it is mine and since she just walked past it twice that she should bend down and pick it up! When she gets witchy at me I am going to state that I am NOT her doormat and I refuse to be treated like that.
I am sure I will create quite a commotion as she will go straight to the computer and start emailing bosses about me... it will become an ordeal I am sure. But this time I am going to push my side of it and have a talk with her boss about basic human respect towards RESIDENTS AND STAFF! I have an entire staff that backs me up of CNA's AND nurses... I have no problem finding someone to say that I ALWAYS do my job and I provide superior care to the residents!
I am not the CNA that is forever hiding from her duties and I expect to be treated with respect just like everyone else who does their job well!
I got off on a little rant but it felt good to type it out! And yes I understand what the OP is saying!
I have been experiencing similar thoughts to the OP as well.
Love nursing but have been fighting my growing disrespect for many of my coworkers.
I am so tired of behaviour that belongs in kindergarten....******, catty pathetic behaviour.
Are these people real professionals? I think not.
And what's with the lack of manners? Is it ignorance?....yes sadly, perhaps it is.
And then there's the lack of professional aptitude regarding how information is handled.
Many RN's seem to come from a very narrow place....lack basic PROFESSIONAL thinking skills...eg 'second guessing' types.
How so many move up to charge and senior staff nurse positions astounds me.
Am tired of the lack of professional presentation....yes, how one sounds and looks is important.
I worked with an RN recently who had nails of varying lengths...jagged, bright polish chipping off with obvious dirt under her nails. She had rings on most fingers with both wrists chokka with bracelets and various cloth and rubber things too.
Her scrubs are never ironed...the top never matches the bottom. She never washes her hands, is inclined to put caps in her mouth, never wears gloves - is great at difficult IV's...but no doubt gives the patient an infection with her great IV starts.
I see this frequently...and am getting tired of it....I wouldn't want a nurse like that looking after me.
Hey, she has been there for 14 yrs and is a 'senior' staff nurse....will probably be a charge nurse soon...she will be in the right place at the right time and longevity is the key here.
It is causing me angst.
It's not nursing that is giving me burnout...it's my coworkers
I sympathize with your story. My biggest issue with nursing is the other nurses as well. I think the main issue with inpatient nursing (albeit it an issue that cannot change because of the nature of the job) is that there are too many individuals working toward the same goal--providing good patient care! Nursing is an art, and as such, there are many ways to accomplish the same outcomes. The problem is, many nurses forget this and think there way is the only way and your way is wrong.
It is tough to be a new grad, and I would encourage you to seek employment out of the inpatient setting for a while. If after doing that you still do not like nursing, then take a couple of years off. You can always return.
rabbitgirrl
122 Posts
actually, i hate nurses, too, but i did (and still do) resist that feeling.
i started out (and still cultivate) with an attitude of respect and goodwill, but over the years that has eroded to an anxiety-ridden hyper-vigilance. i don't like most nurses and i don't trust nurses, either. i have never been so disrespected, lied to, lied about, harassed, set-up, betrayed or back-stabbed as i have from nurses. i am disgusted and horrified by nursing culture and continuously look for ways to feel compassion for people who behave this way.
feel free to jump on the big pile of abusers and blame this person for the abuse she has taken, but if you think it is her imagination, i am here to tell you, it just ain't so. nurses are really, really horrible to each other.
it is a well known anthropological saw that disenfranchised usually turn against each other. since women haven't had much status or voice, they have in the past turned to manipulation, whisper wars and passive-agressive behavior, usually against each other, or someone weaker (new nurse), since they are not brave enough to attack administration or stand up to the things that are really harming them. a great number of women will sell each other out for a small crumb of recognition or recompense. i don't like working in the pink ghetto.
i am very pro-woman, but really, nursing culture is a hot mess.