I hate nurses, what should I do?

caliotter3 · Jan 30, 2009

If you find that you can not change your situation or your mind set, so that your mental health is being affected on a daily basis, then perhaps it is best that you plan to leave nursing. You really do need to think long and hard about this and make sure that you have given it enough time and effort on your part, because you have a lot invested in your nursing career. But if you are going to make yourself sick over this, then it is best to find something now that will make you a happier person. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Before you decide to leave nursing, I would highly suggest that you consider doing home health. Many nurses who get fed up with dealing with other nurses find a good fit with home health. You have minimal to no contact with other nurses. It is you, your patient, and your patient's family. When something goes right for your patient, you can feel good about it without having another nurse blast you about something. Give it some thought.

Jarnaes · Jan 30, 2009

Don't leave nursing yet. We aren't all that bad. Come work at a military facility as a civillian. Or go work at your nearest prison. Or switch your specialty to the Operating Room, that's where the cool kids hang out...lol.

Either way, you'll be one of many guys. None of those petty high school girlie games on my block. I hope you find your niche in nursing.

amjowens · Jan 30, 2009

When I first started NS, I imagined nurses to generally be a "safe", compassionate, and overall wonderful group of people. I felt honored to have the opportunity to join this profession. Now that I've earned my LPN and am in RN school, I actively think of my small group of nursing mentors in order to maintain my vision of nursing. It's almost every day that I force myself to think of the reason I went into nursing, then I think of the wonderful nurses I know. I think,..they are in the same environment (generally) as me, yet they are maintaining their integrity as nurses, and so can I...It's truly a choice as to where you want to look and focus your attention.

My precepting experience in the LPN program was really the time I decided that either I'm going to have to change, or not have the chance to positively affect my future patients. You said you enjoy patient care, and what a shame if you let "negative" nurses take care of your patients instead of you. There are a few negative nurses out there. It must be some survival/biology type of thing, but I see that these gossip-type, crude, loud, unethical, and overall obnoxious types tend to gather quite a following, and can very quickly change the entire dynamics of a place. It's pretty scary how so many otherwise fine people will join up just to feel secure and "in". Don't give in, and more importantly, don't join. Just do your own thing, and remember your "adversaries" say as much about your character as your friends. I mean, I welcome some people not liking me, as I'd wonder about myself if they did!

myopportunity · Jan 31, 2009

Sorry to say this but I am thinking I "hate" nurses too. I am a new graduate nurse, just completed week two on the floor of a med surg wing and the overall experience hasnt been positive: I have seen nurses roll their eyes when a patient ask for pain meds, assume they are needy if they press the call light, complain, argue, talk about how lazy the other shifts are,and rush through the nursing process. I was taught to really listen to the patient and to triple check the meds prior to administration....the nurse training me just keeps saying go faster and dont waste time rechecking or chatting with the patients??? I caught a med error this week simply by re-checking. I feel like the majority of my day is CHARTING to cover my backside not patient care. Mabey I had the wrong impression of the nursing career??????? I dont feel as though I helped anyone feel better at the end of the day....just hurried to look like I was being productive. We chart on Meditech and I am trying to learn the screen but my trainer just wants me to hurry enter something...anything at least every two hours. I have charted more often than required but every time I try to get familiar with the software or even the information in the chart I am told "hurry up and do something" I feel mastering a task is priority then comes speed.I am a very dependable person and can multi task like a fool ONCE I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO but all this rushing and pretending to provide care is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I actually feel better just getting this off my chest but wondering...is this the norm or not?

amjowens · Jan 31, 2009

Okay, as I posted earlier, I absolutely understand how disappointing it is to be exposed to nurses who don't meet our expectations. But, the thing about "hating" nurses is so narrow, extreme, and disgusting. Just in honor of the amazingly generous and professional nurses I know, I've got to say, PLEASE speak of particular nurses (of course, no names!) instead of using such strong, hateful generalizations. I know I have some stories! To generalize about any large group, though, is about as "unethical" as the rude actions of the nurses you are so upset about! Peace.

tencat · Jan 31, 2009

There is a reason hospitals often have a hard time hiring enough nurses.....and some of it probably has to do with nurses having to deal with other nurses. There are a lot of CRAZY (NOT in a good way) people out there who are nurses (lots of them in education too for some reason, but different topic). Home health or hospice are great because you don't have to deal with your coworkers constantly and get dragged into the drama unless you choose to. I don't think I could go back to a hospital setting again unless I had to because there were no other jobs available.

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 31, 2009

The people who are not being nice to the OP are probably just as miserable as he is. When a group of people are unhappy and feeling powerless to change their situation, they start being mean to each other. That is one of the root causes of horizontal violence.

So now ... the OP is miserable and he is being mean to his coworkers -- blaming them for everything instead of seeing their behavior as a symptom of their own misery. It's a form of "blaming the victim" and ...

That's how it spreads.

There is no need to always say "yes" to every request from a coworker to trade scheduled shifts. The OP set himself up as a doormat by not establishing reasonable expectations to begin with. He didn't set appropriate boundaries between his work life and his personal life. etc. But it is easier to simply to call them ******** than to deal with the true complexities of the situation.

OK ... So now one nurse is ticked off becuase the OP suddenly "changed the rules" of the relationship by suddenly saying no to a request for a schedule change. He needs to "man up" and deal with his coworker. He may want to explain that he has been getting burned out because he has been saying "yes" too many times. He may simply say he had other obligations and wasn't available. He may choose to say, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you this time." Then the OP needs to let it go and let his co-worker have a little time to get over her disappointment.

If you like doing the work of nursing don't let the fact that one co-worker s unhappy at the moment (or that ALL of your co-workers are unhappy) determine your career path or choice of a profession. Don't give them that much power over you.

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2009

I've been a nurse for over a year now. At first I thought it was being new that other nurses abused me. Now I know that it's because they are just ********. I am to the point of leaving nursing all together. There are a million jobs in this state and I've tried three of them in one year and its all the same. Nurses eat nurses. Why??
I love my patients truly and it's a great day when I know I've made a difference for them. So why is it that I can be on cloud 9 because I did something great for a patient and then five minutes later the other nurses have made me feel insignificant?
Once every 3 to 4 weeks where I use to work, the rotation would come up that it was all male nurses on the unit. This was the one night that I looked foward to the most. We all got along and had fun all night. But then the next night would role around and there might be me and one other guy and then it was back to same old crapp. Do woman nurses hate male nurse? Should I just quit nursing? I really dont know what to do anymore. I have tried so hard to be nice and caring not only for my patients but for co-workers also. It gets me nowhere. They always ask me to cover their shift for them on my nights off and I have every time. But, when I ask them to it for me, no one ever has. So, last night was the first time that I have ever said NO. Now that nurse wont speak to me. AAHHHHHHH!!!! What do I do?????

Don't worry about it and do your job. Nursing has a great deal of autonomy, so just do your job, be a good nurse and pay your bills. And when you leave work, leave it, don't take it home with you.I do understand what you mean about these type of nurses.....it's their ego, and some are worse than

other's; it could also be that they just hate their job and are miserable people in general. I had a couple of smart a remarks last night, I let it roll off and remain kind. I think that will get to them worse than anything...when they see they get to you, they'll continue to do it. Just be kind, smile and don't work for anybody anymore if you don't get anything in return. Don't misundertand what I say, I don't mean to kiss up, I'm saying not to show that this upsets you. These type of nurses use to really bother me, but I try not to let it get me down. I'm there for my patients, not the nurses. I know I'm a good nurse and that I make a difference.

If you leave nursing and let these big ego attitudes force you into quitting nursing all together, then you are letting them get the upper hand.....ask yourself, do you want it to end like that? Just be a good nurse and

stay out of the cliques, stay away from the gossip and just be kind. Remember, what goes around comes around. I am a firm believer in Karma, I've seen it happen far too many times. Just take care of yourself,

and be thankful for what you do have. After taking care of so many sick people, I'm so thankful that I have good health. Being in this profession makes me grateful for many things. Take care!:heartbeat

HotDrew · Jan 31, 2009

I've had these same experiences. And it always seems to be the same female nurses who are downright witchy with me -- the tired, overweight, haggard, jaded ones. They are miserable with their life and will do anything and all they can to make sure everyone else around them is just as miserable. As soon as these types retire or die (whatever one is quicker), the better for nursing!

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Jan 31, 2009

I understand. I also used to cover a lot of shifts and there were a couple of nurses who never thanked me, never cut me any slack, and seemed only to be nice to me when they needed me to work over for them.

I used to think it was happening because I was old, fat, haggard, and miserable.

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2009

I've had these same experiences. And it always seems to be the same female nurses who are downright witchy with me -- the tired, overweight, haggard, jaded ones. They are miserable with their life and will do anything and all they can to make sure everyone else around them is just as miserable. As soon as these types retire or die (whatever one is quicker), the better for nursing!

I don't agree. I work with overweight, tired and haggard nurses that are

absolutely the best mentors/teacher there are. I don't think they should

be categorized in this way. :twocents: