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I hate cancer


Specializes in orthopedic; Informatics, diabetes. Has 9 years experience.

My bio dad died Mother's day weekend and now a friend of 30+ years just died. It makes me so angry. I am having a harder time dealing with it at work. I don't see it every day, but I see these brave, young people that fight so hard and go through so much and it makes me so angry.

Kudos to those that deal with it constantly. I couldn't. It is too cruel.

My FIL died of cancer and I cannot get my husband to quit smoking. I am so afraid that he is going to get cancer and he won't do anything about it.

Sorry for the rant. I am heartbroken over my latest loss.


Specializes in Oncology.

Just would like to acknowledge your post and extend my sympathies. I'm so sorry. Cancer is terrible, and it doesn't discriminate. Hugs to you

I am so sorry for your losses. I have had quite a bit of experience with cancer/hospice, etc., personal and immed. family history and, family death. I think the time I have spent working oncology was maybe my best spent time. I really felt that I was helping their pain and suffering, and helping the families to understand the active dying process. Very, very rewarding. Sorry about your husbands smoking. It's a lot of work, with very little gratification, when you try to change loved one's bad habits. This is especially tempting for a nurse, I know! I am a staunch non-smoker. Grew up with life-long smoking parents, all that exposure. Ugh! My husband's father died at age 48 of lung cancer. Neither my husband nor children smoke. very grateful for that, but plenty of other bad habits :) I guess we all have something we could change, no? Cancer chooses who it chooses, sometimes it makes no sense at all, none! Listen to your cancer patients feelings. Try to alleviate their pain, fear and suffering. When possible, gently move the family toward understanding. I don't know what more is possible. Best to you and your family.


Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice. Has 7 years experience.

I'm very sorry for your loss.


Specializes in LTC.

Sorry for your losses. The same feelings freq affect many other nurses also. Having said that, it still doesn't make it any easier for some.

I've long questioned 'why bad things happen to good people' too. There is a good book published quite some time back that addresses this.

mmc51264, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in orthopedic; Informatics, diabetes. Has 9 years experience.

Thank you all. I usually don't get so emotional, but this latest was surprise and I have had a few cancer pts lately (I work ortho, so there are not that many). It has all just built up.

I do well at work, but when it starts hitting so close to home, it becomes more difficult.


Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty. Has 45 years experience.

You don't need to apologize. You lost two people who are very important to you. Condolences, mmc. :redpinkhe:

Racer15, BSN, RN

Specializes in ED. Has 5 years experience.

Cancer is awful. I lost my amazing grandfather (who paid every penny of my nursing school) to cancer in April. It was horrific watching the strongest man I ever knew waste away in a hospital bed. I had to help my aunt (also a nurse ) give him rectal Tylenol, change his briefs, etc. it broke my heart to see him that way but it was a privilege to be trusted to care for him in his last days. I am so so sorry for your losses :( Cancer really does suck.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma. Has 41 years experience.

((HUGS)) I am so sorry...CANCER SUCKS. Period.

classicdame, MSN, EdD

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

So sorry for you losses. Use your anger to learn all you can about helping these special people in their time of greatest need. At least that way some good will come out of your pain.

rubato, ASN, RN

Specializes in Oncology/hematology.

OP, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are correct, cancer does suck! I am 2 weeks into my new grad job on an oncology unit and have already seen so much pain and suffering. My husband smoked for over 30 years and he finally quit 3 years ago. I am so thankful and hope that it wasn't too late. Keep working on your husband and my thoughts and prayers are with you.


Has 6 years experience.

Cancer sucks. My dad's mom died before my parents met, so I obviously never knew her but heard what a wonderful person she was. My FIL died from mesothelioma 11 days after his dx--because the first two hospitals and three lung surgeries missed it; the Cleveland Clinic finally made the dx after the 4th lung surgery, and if they'd known about the meso they never would have opened him up again. The only good thing to my FIL being diagnosed so late in the game is he didn't have to suffer through chemo and radiation. Cancer sucks, it's horrible, and I HATE the idiots that say there is a cure but big pharma doesn't want people to be cured so they can make money off them.


Specializes in NICU.

My FIL recently died of glioblastoma. Nasty disease, cancer.


Specializes in Oncology. Has 14 years experience.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been an Onc nurse for 7 years and have also lost many family members to cancer.