I got a verbal warning for not greeting the new Director of Care?

[Convoy2022_TrumpSupporter]

Basically we have a new manager and the CEO of the home was introducing her around the building. I have a good relationship with the CEO.  They both came up on the floor and greeted all the staff at the nursing station. I was sort of flustered with my work I had 2 falls, agitated patients, family complaint of their patient not getting their meal, etc... they even served cake at the nursing station (gotta eat it at the lunch room though) to celebrate the start of this new manager. So when I was absent for all of these, the manager then got upset and told the CEO how she felt.

The next day on my shift, I went to the CEO's office and other Nursing managers/educators told me "Hey you're a good worker. I don't want to give you a letter that will be on your record, but for now I will give you a verbal warning. You did not participate in greeting the new manager. It is a sign of disrespect and will not be tolerated here".

At first I was very shocked. Like seriously? I said "May I speak freely"? The managers said "Yes".  I said "Okay. I am sorry that I was unable to join your cake celebration. But you have to understand. I had 2 falls, patients getting antibiotics, agitates patients, patients O2 going low because they remove their nasal prongs etc... so as you can see, due to the dire situation, going to your cake party/celebration could not be on top of my priority".

They thought I was mocking them. They just said "do not let it happen again".

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

If you don't want to add boot licking to your job description.... start looking.

[PollywogNP, ADN, BSN, MSN, LPN, NP]

GThis reminds of the time as  a Navy nurse I was drawing blood from a patient when a higher ranking nurse (0-6) Captain which is the equivalent of a full bird colonel, came on the unit. Protocol is that all stand & acknowledge her arrival, but I didn’t want to take my eyes off the vacutainer tubes & the patient’s arm. She stood there and loudly cleared her throat. I finished drawing the lab before standing to greet her. Yup later heard from my C. O that I had not stood up when the captain arrived. But of course left out the part about  being in the middle of lab draw. Twice in my career of 44 years I have had 2 RNs ask if I knew who they were ( speaking of self important people). The first came to borrow a flashlight & when I pointed to the drawer is when she asked if I knew who she was. Yup you’re the nurse without a flashlight. The second time I was an ER nurse taking a pt to the ICU. Turns out this nurse her husband was/is the weatherman for Ch. 9. I didn’t know who he was since I live in different city, so my response was “ well you’re the nurse who’s getting this patient. “  My responses were honest and at the same time I was bemused that they would even think that they are more important than anyone else. 

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

3 hours ago, PollywogNP said:

GThis reminds of the time as  a Navy nurse I was drawing blood from a patient when a higher ranking nurse (0-6) Captain which is the equivalent of a full bird colonel, came on the unit. Protocol is that all stand & acknowledge her arrival, but I didn’t want to take my eyes off the vacutainer tubes & the patient’s arm. She stood there and loudly cleared her throat. I finished drawing the lab before standing to greet her. Yup later heard from my C. O that I had not stood up when the captain arrived. But of course left out the part about  being in the middle of lab draw. Twice in my career of 44 years I have had 2 RNs ask if I knew who they were ( speaking of self important people). The first came to borrow a flashlight & when I pointed to the drawer is when she asked if I knew who she was. Yup you’re the nurse without a flashlight. The second time I was an ER nurse taking a pt to the ICU. Turns out this nurse her husband was/is the weatherman for Ch. 9. I didn’t know who he was since I live in different city, so my response was “ well you’re the nurse who’s getting this patient. “  My responses were honest and at the same time I was bemused that they would even think that they are more important than anyone else. 

I guess they wanted you to pull the needle out and salute and then have to stick the patient again ? and your responses to the other 2 are so funny! I would never recognize the wife of the weatherman! hahaha so random

[DesiDani]

21 hours ago, klone said:

You say that like it was wrong of him to tell you who he was. How else should he introduce himself? 

I already knew who he was and had to deal with him. He got forced out for being shady. How he introduced himself was not relevant to me, his actions were.

[DesiDani]

Plus he did not inquire about me. It was "hi" name and title. Trust me I waited, there was a pause before I responded in kind. There was no "how long have you been working here?", "Do you like it here?", "how are you".

If you're just going to tell me your title, I'll do the same.

[vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

Why would she care if one nurse was missing from her meet and greet? Sounds insecure. This has nothing to do with job performance. Watch your back, it’s only going to get trickier from here. 

[JKL33]

On 3/9/2021 at 7:34 AM, Emergent said:

But the other side of the coin is that, these managers are incredibly petty and self-centered, plus on a huge, arrogant power trip. It's a giant red flag.

Agree.

On 3/9/2021 at 2:31 PM, JBMmom said:

The person speaking freely, as it was written, provided an accurate and non-emotional recount of the situation.

I'll try to explain better.

They (admin) already knew exactly the kind of things that their nurses would be busy with that would prevent them from participating in this dog-and-pony-show cake party thing. They already know. Because they are the ones in charge of the short-staffing, and they've been doing it for a looooong time.  So, the OP did not actually inform them of anything that they didn't know already. They aren't ignorant of the reasons that one of their employees doesn't have time to eat cake and socialize while on duty.

The key thing to remember is that they already know. They know everything about this, including the fact that the whole situation is sort of insulting (the fact that they're having a welcome party and want everyone to line up and smile while already being responsible for more work that can be done to high standards). So...speaking freely...not sugarcoating...telling it like it is...whatever you want to call it, *is* more of an exercise in emotional catharsis than anything else. And doing it anyway is just giving them an opening to be able to point a finger. Which is precisely what ended up happening.

[By-a-thred, RN, ADN]

On 3/8/2021 at 11:15 AM, JKL33 said:

Speaking freely is not a winning strategy. Explaining your feelings is not a winning strategy.

With management like this, there is no winning strategy other than to move along to a better job. If they are going to be all butt hurt about not being greeted, how do you think they will react when it's something important that may involve defending you and your ability to maintain your license? Yeah, time to look for a new place of employment.  

[prunejuiceandbps]

Sounds like the new Director of Nursing needs a verbal warning. Believe me I understand how busy you were. You feel like your head is going to explode. And guess what You Are It. There is nobody to turn to to relieve your burden. You could have just showed up and introduced yourself and then explained that you couldn't stay due to the above reasons. End of story. I would just forget it. But if this type of thing continues to occur maybe look for a new position. Many of these so called Directors have never worked like you are expected to work. They have 0 clue.

[JKL33]

7 hours ago, By-a-thred, RN said:

With management like this, there is no winning strategy other than to move along to a better job.

Disagree.

This same behavior goes on in "desirable" places, too, and at multiple levels of organizations. Exact same. It's a thing. People want to look good to their superiors and they want their reports to fall in line as part of making that happen.

My whole point is that bucking this and becoming the one that can be pointed at and made to look like the problem is stupid. It's nonsensical. The adage about rolling in the mud with pigs isn't exactly kind but is appropriate here. Don't roll with them. Don't play their game. It's perfectly enjoyable to them but will get you dirty.

Yes, one may determine that the best thing to do is leave. Why sully yourself on the way out, or worse--before you can secure that better job you're talking about?  Why?

And what about the day one has a job that for personal reasons they would rather not have to leave on account of some two-bit dingo? So it can be really useful to have actual skills in ignoring stupidity. VERY useful.

I guess I don't need to keep advocating my point-of-view, I'm just disappointed when people don't see the value in refusing to become perturbed by stuff that is not even worth thinking about.

[Davey Do]

2 hours ago, JKL33 said:

I'm just disappointed when people don't see the value in refusing to become perturbed by stuff that is not even worth thinking about.

We become disappointed, JKL, when our expectations are not met.

We pessimists are never disappointed because we expect the worst in people. Maybe a better way to phrase that is that we pessimists expect people to be people.

In order to overcome adversity, we see ourselves as the protagonists and others are the antagonists. Or: We are the victims and others are the perpetrators.

Overcoming adversity gives a feeling of power, so we create arenas in order to act out the part. If we don't concern ourselves with with things that are not worth thinking about, no arena is created, there's no adversity with which to deal, and we don't get to experience the feeling of victory.

"You seek problems because you need their gifts", Richard Bach wrote. "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands."

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

On 3/12/2021 at 10:11 AM, JKL33 said:

My whole point is that bucking this and becoming the one that can be pointed at and made to look like the problem is stupid. It's nonsensical.

On 3/12/2021 at 10:11 AM, JKL33 said:

So it can be really useful to have actual skills in ignoring stupidity.

I get your point now. I agree with your statements. I have fallen into this trap myself, pointing out the obvious in what I feel is a non-emotional, rational way, but as you would expect it doesn't generally work out. I had not though of it in this way, though, I'm going to work on those ignoring skills. It's a battle, though. I'm very righteously indignant with stupid stuff, I'll have to get over myself.