I got a verbal warning for not greeting the new Director of Care?

[Convoy2022_TrumpSupporter]

Basically we have a new manager and the CEO of the home was introducing her around the building. I have a good relationship with the CEO.  They both came up on the floor and greeted all the staff at the nursing station. I was sort of flustered with my work I had 2 falls, agitated patients, family complaint of their patient not getting their meal, etc... they even served cake at the nursing station (gotta eat it at the lunch room though) to celebrate the start of this new manager. So when I was absent for all of these, the manager then got upset and told the CEO how she felt.

The next day on my shift, I went to the CEO's office and other Nursing managers/educators told me "Hey you're a good worker. I don't want to give you a letter that will be on your record, but for now I will give you a verbal warning. You did not participate in greeting the new manager. It is a sign of disrespect and will not be tolerated here".

At first I was very shocked. Like seriously? I said "May I speak freely"? The managers said "Yes".  I said "Okay. I am sorry that I was unable to join your cake celebration. But you have to understand. I had 2 falls, patients getting antibiotics, agitates patients, patients O2 going low because they remove their nasal prongs etc... so as you can see, due to the dire situation, going to your cake party/celebration could not be on top of my priority".

They thought I was mocking them. They just said "do not let it happen again".

[DesiDani]

I'm with Silver Bell. I would think they were joking.

Those situation is when I begin my 3 strike countdown. The 1st I'm causally looking for employment elsewhere. The 2nd a more serious search and typing my letter of resignation. The 3rd accepting interviews and seeing when I can start my last two weeks (after all, I do care and don't want to leave the trapped coworkers a short staff head ache).

Unless they too are demons then "BYE"

[DesiDani]

I remember a higher up introduce himself with his title:

"Hi, I'm Ernie the director of nursing" or some inflated title

My response:

"Well, hello I'm DesiDani the aide"

[JKL33]

9 hours ago, DK123 said:

I tend to speak freely. I'm not sugarcoating anything. I'm going to tell you exactly how it is.

Yes, I've heard that before. I know some people take pride in it. I don't understand the mentality because my observation and experience has been that it translates mostly into temporary emotional soothing and not so much the tangible benefits of actually being in an advantageous position. There's a lot of resistance to this idea. All I can say is it feels good to figure out how to be smarter, not louder. I think it is definitely the position of advantage. Give it some thought. ?

[JKL33]

See...the problem with "not sugarcoating anything" is that none of us are perfect.

The fact here is that even if you were busy with other stuff and had neither the inclination nor the time to have a sit-down cake party, a brief, warm greeting is....free....it takes no time and is no skin off anyone's back. It's simple: "Welcome. It's nice to meet you" or even (if you must), "Welcome, glad to have you here. I'm in the middle of a patient situation at the moment, so I'll catch up with you later..."

Doing the above is not kissing anyone's you-know-what, it's just basic professionalism with the tiniest hint of warmth/kindness thrown in.

Now, one might say, "but their cake party is just them attempting to make things look better here than they are, and now they're ticked because I was dealing with falls and all kinds of other crap that is directly related to their understaffing and that makes them look bad in front of the new director they hired..."

Yes. That likely is 100% true. The part more people need to realize is that hissy fits and "not sugarcoating anything" isn't going to change these patterns of theirs. Trust me, innumerable nurses have tried the approach and simply just get picked off like low-hanging fruit by people who ARE the problem! How terrible is that? That's what my first post was about.

I hope you (and whoever might read this) will reconsider. The more we tamp down the emotions and simply comport ourselves in a smarter, more professional way, the better off we will be individually and as a group. Part of the reason we are treated so poorly is because we serve ourselves up on silver platters to people who literally don't care whether any individual nurse is in or out.

[Emergent, RN]

That's all true, JKL. But the other side of the coin is that, these managers are incredibly petty and self-centered, plus on a huge, arrogant power trip. It's a giant red flag.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

7 hours ago, JKL33 said:

The more we tamp down the emotions and simply comport ourselves in a smarter, more professional way, the better off we will be individually and as a group.

I agree in a way, but it sounds in this case like the emotional reaction was the one by the managers who were offended by someone else prioritizing their job over a superfluous celebration. The person speaking freely, as it was written, provided an accurate and non-emotional recount of the situation. While there is a certain aspect of "going along to get along" that makes sense, trying to make this employee feel that they did something wrong by not having cake is more of a red flag to me. 

[klone, MSN, RN]

On 3/9/2021 at 1:58 AM, DesiDani said:

I remember a higher up introduce himself with his title:

"Hi, I'm Ernie the director of nursing" or some inflated title

My response:

"Well, hello I'm DesiDani the aide"

You say that like it was wrong of him to tell you who he was. How else should he introduce himself? 

[klone, MSN, RN]

I think JKL is trying to say, it's okay to be professional and polite. "Not sugarcoating" is often a euphemism for going off on an unprofessional rant, which frankly does nothing positive, and makes one look unhinged.

[Davey Do]

On 3/8/2021 at 9:27 AM, DK123 said:

I had 2 falls, patients getting antibiotics, agitates patients, patients O2 going low because they remove their nasal prongs etc... so as you can see, due to the dire situation, going to your cake party/celebration could not be on top of my priority".

[speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

On 3/8/2021 at 12:15 PM, JKL33 said:

Never speak freely. Just say "That was not my intention" and "understood." 

??

In all honesty - I may have said or done something similar. I think that’s the blunt, honest side of the ER in me. It really depends on the day - sometimes I am more diplomatic and sometimes not ?

[BSN-to-MSN, ADN, BSN, RN]

Beware of this new manager, he/she is a backstabber.

[LibraSunCNM, BSN, MSN, CNM]

I feel like being honest about what you were dealing with was totally appropriate.  I'd have said something like, "I had just had two patients fall.  Just to clarify, you're saying that instead of taking care of them, I should have left them on the floor to come greet the new manager and eat a piece of cake.  Am I understanding that correctly?"  What they were asking you to do literally made no sense, and I wouldn't just brush something like that off.  It's insane.