I dropped out. Please console me

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I feel awful.

I decided today to withdraw from my MSN-Ed program. After one failed semester.

This was not a decision made lightly. I've been agonizing about it for months.

It's just not the right time for me to do this. When I started, I felt ready, but as I moved through the coursework, I felt repelled. I started putting it off and procrastinating deeper and deeper. I just could NOT bring myself to do the work. Yes; it was an online program and a REALLY good one at that. But my mouth and mind would fill with bitterness the second I opened my laptop.

It's an odd combo of things. 1) I had SUCH an awful time in my BSN program I think I'm totally repelled by any academic ANYTHING. Seriously. My stomach twists into knots at the very thought of nursing theory or writing papers or doing research. I didn't expect to feel like this. 2) I don't think online school is for me. I need the structure and interaction of a classroom setting. 3) I am really enjoying my life right now. I finally found a job I like, my personal life and finances are finally good, I'm working on getting healthier - and the LAST thing I discovered I want to do is worry about a paper being due or staying up until 2am reading some evidence-based research.

I was given a scholarship for this program, and feel TERRIBLE wasting it voluntarily. I guess it's better than flunking out, but man. I feel horrible, like some ungrateful princess.

This also stinks because I'm used to being a straight-A, overachieving academic rock star my whole life. This is extremely out of character for me and my friends and family will be shocked.

I would still like to do it, but just not right now. Now is not the time. I would rather cautiously back away than struggle and fail.

Someone. Anyone. Please tell me this is okay! That I'm being mature and rational, right? That this isn't INSANE?

Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

Sounds like you need some reassurance, so here goes:

So far getting your BSN shows you have what it takes. Nursing school is hard. You have demonstrated that you can do what you set your mind up to do. Timing is important and maybe you just need to step back and when you are ready again it sounds like you know yourself enough to make the right decision for you. You are a fortunate person who recognize in yourself what is best for you. Some people are not that self-aware. Good Luck in your future endeavors.

Take a deep breath, it did not work out for your life right now. There's no shame in that. When and if the time is right, you can re-visit this. Everyone bites off more than they can chew now and again. Tread lightly on yourself, it is what it is. Life is too short. If you love what you do now, that is important at present. Best wishes.

lol Good Lord I am the idiom queen..... But I truly mean every word.....

Specializes in Med-Surg.

You know, I really feel, especially from reading so many AN posts, that many nurses enroll in school for continued education because we think we are supposed to, not because we actually want to. Either to get out of bedside, or being told how smart we are and should go back to school or employers are making us to get magnet status. I am really curious to know how many nurses go back to school because they just want to...

Specializes in Med/Surg, Oncology, Epic CT.

You'll be okay. Enjoy life now as it is and come back when you've had a breather.:)

Or not. :cheeky:

Specializes in geriatrics.

Don't stress too much over this....it's totally ok to realize that you're not ready, for whatever the reasons are.

Everything has its place, and just because you've left the program is in no way a reflection of your character or ability to do the work. Maybe you'll enroll sometime in the future, or maybe you won't. Either way, it's OK. In order to succeed in academia, you need to be mentally ready to tackle the work.

Take some time to reflect on what you want. I know of a few people who dropped out of their Masters. Some returned later and completed the program, some did not. Do whatever is right for you.

There's a time and a place for everything. Scholarship or not, take time off and enjoy your life! :)

Specializes in ED, Telemetry,Hospice, ICU, Supervisor.

Buck up.

No one can force you to go through extra crap unless except for you. If you have a stable job and your able to live well, the extra bells and whistles do not matter. So what if you got that scholarship, who cares. There is no reason to feel guilty about dropping out of a program you knew was going to be a bad fit.

You are a grown adult that can make their own decisions. If you feel that you need a pitty party then by all means, throw one. After you wake up in the morning you need to get it together and move on with life.

I never read why you were going to graduate school. Grad school is hard enough without having a reason for doing it. If there isn't a big enough carat for you to chase, why go after it? I think school is very much about motivation. I didn't really like college the first time I did it because I didn't really see myself using the material for many of my classes in a practical environment. After I finished my first bachelor's I thought I would never do any more college. Now, 23 years later, I have two masters and have totally changed things up, going from aeronautics and counter-terrorism to working toward a BSN. School is great now. Maybe being a nurse won't be all I dream it will, but I love driving toward the goal. Don't be afraid to look at the big picture of your life and examine your vision for the future.

Take time for yourself. Enjoy all that you have accomplished so far. No need to rush. Congrats on all that you mentioned is going well for you:::

"I finally found a job I like, my personal life and finances are finally good, I'm working on getting healthier"

That's reason to celebrate and relax for a bit :) It's true that you only live once.. enjoy what you can, when you can. Don't focus on the negatives or you'll miss the positives. Put all that behind you for a while!

Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

I have been going to school pretty much non-stop since 2007. ADN, right into a BSN, then started an MSN after completing Army training. I need a break! And I'm taking one, courtesy of Uncle Sam and a 9-month trip to the sandbox. :) I'll be one course and a capstone away from my MSN (Informatics) at that point, and I am welcoming the time off! I am seriously hating on the two classes I'm in right now, and that's not like me. I'm also one of those straight-A people, and I've just recently made my peace with the fact that I am probably going to mess up my 4.0 GPA and end up with a B in one of these classes. It'll be a high B, but still ... ugh.

So I get it. It's not easy being "us." Give yourself the time you need! School will always be there when you are ready for it. You learned a hard lesson about yourself, and I give you kudos for sharing it openly, too. Best of luck. :)

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/LDRP/Ortho ASC.

No advice...just wanted to send you a big ((hug)).

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