I cringe at the thought of work

Published

I HATE my job... I HATE nursing... I've been a nurse going on 2 years and I can honestly say I wish I can go back and do something else. I cringe at the thought of going to work. I honestly feel sick and anxiety kicks in. My first job was in the ICU and while everyone I know was jealous and in awe of how I landed the job, there I was... a new grad in the ICU. I survived my 3 month preceptorship and I was on my own up until I had to move 'cause my spouse was transferred. But even then I was starting to HATE nursing. I can't stand bedside nursing.

I landed a job at our new place in an outpatient oncology clinic and I enjoyed it there up until my coworkers decided it was time to bully me out of the job 'cause I wasn't a local. So I ended up quiting 'cause I kept getting set up to fail. I didn't want to lose my license so I left my wonderful patients after three months.

So here I am in my third job as a tele (more like med surg) nurse at a third rate, barely hanging there hospital. Where do I even begin... Aside from being treated like a third world maid, I am constantly being hounded by drug seeking homeless patients who keep returning to us because the hospital is too hungry for ANY patients they can get their hands on. They will admit ANYONE... even those who have normal labs just to have patients and they bill the state at OUR expense!

Back to my rant... time and time again nurses are disrespected, devalued, and under appreciated by self-entitled patients/families. I can't stand having to wipe butt because they're too lazy to do it themselves, or they get off having someone do it for them when they are fully capable of doing it themselves. I'm tired of managers and coordinators ******** and whining about patient satisfaction when all they do is max you out with patients and give you 12 hrs to be a nanny, maid, servant, miracle worker on top of ensuring documentation is squared away so the hospital can get their reimbursement. I'm tired of nurses who swear they know everything and try to take advantage of you just 'cause they've a nurse longer than you.

I wish switching to another area of nursing was easy. Being where I am, everyone wants at least 2 years of specialty experience. I'm trying to be positive and talk myself into liking what I'm doing. I AM JUST TIRED OF NURSING!!!! I am so depressed and frustrated. I pray every time I go to work that I don't blow up... Of course I will NEVER hurt a patient, it's not in me to do so. However I want out... I REGRET wasting money on a degree I don't plan on using as soon I can find a way out. :-'(

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
I REGRET wasting money on a degree I don't plan on using as soon I can find a way out.

I totally hear you. It takes a smart person to realize this career is not for you.

Would it help if you trained for a specialty that involved no hands-on contact with patients and their families? I'm thinking of nursing informatics, health information technology or MDS coordinator. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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Specializes in Critical care.

Join the crowd

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Amen sister, preaching to the choir.

However, you can use your nursing degree.Commuter gave you some great ideas.

Market yourself into a non-bedside position.

Does the current ******** offer tuition reimbursement?

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What about teaching? That could be kinda fun.... teaching nursing students.

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Specializes in PCCN.

you sound like you work where I work.

I have all the thoughts you have written down, especially the regret.

I am going to look into the HIM as I keep seeing ads for nurse coders.I know regular coders dont make that much money.

I unfortunately live in a very expensive state with a spouse who doesnt want to leave( despite him making barely above min wage)All the financial weight is put on me. Otherwise, I would go back to an industrial job in a hot minute. Too bad there aren't any anymore.

Good luck- I hope you find something non nursing.

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I'm open to anything at this point. I'm not picky as long as it's a way out of bedside nursing. But like I said, around where I live getting a nursing job is a tough market... in ANY specialty. It's like a catch 22. I'm going to have to just wait it out until we can return to the Mainland. We currently live in Hawaii. This place is the WORST state to be a nurse with less than 2 years experience! I can't emphasize that enough!

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Thank you all by the way for validating how I feel. I know I'm not alone out there. I have a small glimmer of hope things will turn around once we get out of here. Hawaii (for me at least) has not been the paradise everyone seems to think it is. It took me over a year to land this job and I've been there going on 9 months now. I'm trying to hold on for another 3 months so I can at least have one full year of experience in one facility. My husband is in the military, so it can be difficult to explain periods of unemployment and why I quit only after 8 months, etc. But that is the situation I'm in. :-(

Again, thank you for your suggestions and giving me support! You're all wonderful!

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"been there,done that": Sure don't! The facility where I work out is hopeless.

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Would it be possible to go to part time on that job? If your husband is gainfully employed, it could be worth the drop in income.

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Specializes in LTC.
What about teaching? That could be kinda fun.... teaching nursing students.

I second that suggestion. Get your master's in ed and teach. I think that's all you'd need if you have your BSN to teach at a community college. I know it's a little more school, but it's better than being miserable.

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Oy. You sound like me a loooong time ago.

I went straight into ICU as a new grad myself. Talk about a wake-up call: 18 bed, neuro/cardiac ICU. They gave me >drum roll<... and a half weeks with preceptor then put me on my own. for real. fortunately i did not harm anyone but it was pleasant experience outside of the science learning aspect. coworkers were also meanest devils devilettes ever to haunt hospital.>

I think the first few years of nursing can be the most difficult, because we haven't yet learned what is B.S. that's being handed to us vs. where we need to adjust our own thinking.

I spent the first few years of nursing going to bed and frequently wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning, so I hear your rant and understand.

What I learned over time (for me, anyway) is that it is NOT nursing that is distressing, it's the work-culture of any given place of employment. Some are wonderful, and others are not. Even the ones that are wonderful can turn un-wonderful with a slight change in management or institutional politics. As you go along in time, you learn to develop a spidey-sense as to what reeks--and you learn to run the other way.

You probably care a great deal about what you do, and doing a wonderful job. Right now you might feel like a helpless, trapped rat. Panic and sadness sets in, and you are pummeled into a sad little puddle of goop that feels nothing like what you envisioned for your life--personal or professional. My guess also is that this is why you are lashing out in anger in twenty different directions.

Most of us have "been there." So vent away.

Nursing is brutal, but it's beautiful, too. Keep this in mind--there is much to celebrate in this profession, especially when you find the right fit for you.

But, if you are going to get out of the profession, do it sooner than later. The longer you go on, the tougher it is to leave. Nursing: It's the Hotel California.

I'll leave you with this. When you feel the most downtrodden, remind yourself that you do ​have options. You do NOT have to do this if you don't want to.

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