Humorous Introspection

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Okay, so I've noticed in the past 8 months since starting in the medical field that I swear a lot more than I used to. Er, I should say, it comes OUT a lot more. I'm sure I was swearing before but it just wasn't out loud!

Got me thinking: what quirks have you "inherited" as a direct result of you working in the medical field?

i began to question whether i realyy am as caring as i profess to be.

my wife gets annoyed because i get so cynical . i begin to feel in the minority when i feel compzassion. in the proverb of the boy who cried wolfe - i used to say he really needs us this time now i say fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on ME

but i keep going back to work because gosh darn some 84 year old will smile or thank me and i start all over again ... maybe he really needs me

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- definetly cursing

I use "oy" as my cursing without cursing in front of patients

- I have to knock on doors so much at work, going in to exam rms, dr. offices, ext. that I some times knock on doors at home, or I have been seen knocking on the bathroom door before going in. ( Like some one should answer)

- IN OUR NEW BUILDING WE HAVE AUTOMATIC LIGHTS IN EXAM ROOMS SO I AM OFTEN WALKING IN TO A DARK ROOM AND WONDERING WHY THE LIGHT ISN'T AUTOMATICALLY COMING ON

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After working in substance abuse/mental health and being lied to so much, I find myself second guessing everything anybody says. I've heard so many sob stories, and seen so many abusive situations, when I get e-mails that say "if you delete this, you have no heart, etc" I hit delete and move on, but I also check out e-mail forwards on Snopes because I don't believe anything anymore. I don't believe patients who call our outpatient clinic reporting their benzo was "lost," "stolen," "fell in the sink, toilet, bucket of vomit, etc" Nothing ever happens to their antidepressant or antipsychotic, it's always the benzo. Patients come in saying they have no food in their house, but the case manager goes and finds they have canned vegetables etc in the cabinets, but the patient is upset because all their frozen pizzas and sodas are gone. And not to mention the patients who say they have no money to pay their $3 medicaid co-pays but they always have a cell phone and cigarettes, and have paid their cable TV bills. I want to think that no one could look me in the eye and tell lies, but it happens.

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Specializes in LTC, med-surg, critial care.

I've never been a lady but since I've been a nurse my cursing has increased. I've also become very short with people when I'm frustrated.

I say "Yes sir/ma'am" when anyone tells me to do anything. I picked it up from a super confused resident who said it all the time "No sir! I don't like you sir!"

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if nursing was easy they wouldn't be paying us the "megabucks." so where do I get mine? -- the job you hate/the job you love!!! go figure. -- if i could have another career what would it be?

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Specializes in PICU, surgical post-op.

I haven't started swearing quite yet. In fact, it's become something of a game on my unit to see who'll be the one to make me crack.

Does anyone else find themselves going to the bathroom at home and washing their hands before AND after? Because I definitely feel silly when I bring that one home with me ...

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I know there are lots of you out there that do this, but I can see a perfect stranger and go "man, I could get a 14 guage iv in that guy." Another one is noticing edema in people's feet, and my husband has told me many times to quit taking his pulse while im holding his hand.:roll

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Specializes in CT ,ICU,CCU,Tele,ED,Hospice.

i am doubly introuble .i have the swearing and 'honey' thing down pat.i try really hard to not do the 'honey' thing .the swearing i don't do in front of staff or pts .but at home and otherwise yes i swear.

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I now have an amazing vocabulary that would make a sailor blush. Luckily, I have an ability not to do it in front of pts.

No patience for people who walk slow or drive slow. Ever heard the expression "**** or get off the pot"? It's my mantra now.

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My internal (okay, sometimes verbal) response has become "no s--t, Sherlock!"

and the response to that is "dig deeper Watson."

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Does anyone else find themselves going to the bathroom at home and washing their hands before AND after? Because I definitely feel silly when I bring that one home with me ...

Oh yeah! There've been times where I've been at home and I walk into the bathroom and pause - like subconsciously I know it's not necessary to wash before, ,but there's a time-lapse for it to get to consciousness (sp?)!

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Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

I've always had a horrible pottymouth. For some reason I tried to be more "professional" in school, and kept it under wraps for two years. It took about 4 months of work for my sailor mouth to rear its ugly head. I mutter, or I make up words to have handy so's I don't have to eat my foot at work. "Crudknuckles" is a good one, and I've turned the word "heaven" into a swear word. My husband gave me the strangest look the day I said "heavens to f*cking Betsy!" at home.

I used to have a problem with people asking where things were; I could go get it faster than I could mentally picture where it was. It drove my ex crazy that I couldn't spit out a simple answer. Well, now I can. I can tell several people at once what to do, what to go get, and where it is if they don't know. But I still prefer hands-on teaching and learning to any amount of paperwork or reading.

I dress better than I used to, and I wear really good shoes. My underwear collection has changed dramatically. Ill-fitting bras, anklet socks and bikini britches gave way to bras that support and fit properly, and look just like they came from my grandma's closet... oh yes, and support socks, and granny panties. All of the above items are white. My mother would just laugh if she knew this!

My bladder can hold a gallon while I'm at work, and half a cup while I'm home. Noon seems like a wonderful time to fall asleep. The pen collection has taken over my purse, and much to my daughter's chagrin, I know instantly if I'm missing one and which one it is. I even have a Levitra pen! (It umm, opens like it's having a little erection. So cute!)

I think I now have the ability to judge if people are lying to me. That may or may not be true but it colors my response to pain complaints. (I'd like to say I'm unbiased, but it just ain't true.) I can't bring myself to be a snot to anyone else in a serving-style job, and tend to be friendlier to strangers than I used to be. But heaven forbid I catch someone behaving badly; it won't bother me one bit to speak up. I've developed a good knack for getting people to do what I want, and hopefully, enough sense to know when to back off of those people who aren't gonna budge. I've learned to listen to my gut, and to respect those others who insist on listening to theirs.

There is this irresistable urge to find a new purse or work bag whenever I am in the general vicinity of stores that sell these things. My shoe fetish scares my poor husband. And I have yet to find a lunch box/bag that holds enough. I now pack my lunchbox for my dinner, snack, prebreakfast and enough food to feed two extra people, just in case someone else is neglectful of their hypoglycemic state. Nobody that handles needles should run low on blood sugar!

I don't really enjoy letting people know up front that I'm a nurse like I did last year. My husband still likes it, though. Oh yeah, last on the list: superstition has firmly taken hold. Full moons = bad things! Don't say "quiet!" Don't say good things without knocking on wood!

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