How do you put a nurse like this in her place?

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This nurse on my unit, who herself has been a nurse for probably just under a year, is a snake and tries to find fault with myself and another newer nurse. She looks at our work and charting for mistakes and inadvertant omissions and tries to correct us. (Despite that one thing she saw, there was no policy or guideline that stated it must be done the way she said it should be.) I think she may be doing this because she's insecure with herself or maybe she's proud of recently becoming a mentor for the newer nurses. BTW, it's not a formal mentoring program and she didn't have to interview for it either. Any ideas of what I can say or do to put her in her place?

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Every workplace has at least one of these, and to a person they are ALWAYS insecure about something. Maybe it's because I'm old and have been a nurse for some time, but I'm more amused than irritated with ours........she is so obvious in her attempts to curry favor from the higher-ups that it's all I can do not to laugh out loud when she does her Super Nurse impressions. For example, at shift change one day last week, she gathered the CNAs from both shifts and lectured them on answering call lights, leaving rooms neat etc. and then finished with a dramatic "And if these things are NOT done and we continue to receive complaints from residents and families, you WILL be written up."

Now, the unit manager and I were standing right there as she gave this speech---both of us being totally capable of speaking for ourselves---but we just looked at each other, smiling, and let her go on. The RCM herself is one who never met a write-up she didn't like, but I think this was even too much for her; as for me, I haven't written anyone up in the six months I've been there (although one aide brought me dangerously close to it a couple of weeks ago) and I'm not about to let an LPN bully me into starting.

It occurred to her after she got done that she may have said too much, and she made a pretense of apologizing to me: "I'm sorry, you're just as capable of saying those things as I am, so if I overstepped my bounds, please forgive me." This nurse has all of two years' experience, and is 38 going on 22.......like I'm going to be intimidated?:icon_roll:chuckle I just let it slide---she did say some things that the aides needed to be reminded of, even if she was the wrong person to say them (I prefer to counsel my own staff, thank you).

The point is, try not to take this fault-finder too seriously. It's irritating, to be sure, but it's not personal in the sense that she is thinking up ways to pick on YOU. She is probably unsure of herself, and she definitely lacks maturity and social skills. With people like this, I've found it's usually best to respond positively, e.g. "thanks for letting me know about that" and reminding the person that NO ONE walks on water!

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She is not your supervisor. Don't give her power over you. Ignore her.

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Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Hon this could be a starts for a work place conflict. First calm down! Second make notes about what she did to you, and where she tried to correct you.

Trying to pick up on you is one, BUT if is a big mistake ..... he, he, he let's say a double dose of anticoagulant given (I don't know what I love this exemple, lol), or a wrong IV bag hung up, or somenthing elese that has a potential harm for patient, my dear...you need to say her thanks, instead.

More...if she has not experience to mentoring is not your problem is management problem, make a note adress for them and inform them about your opinion.

A direct confrontation is not a good ideea at this point.

I had couple of "coworkers" on the past on this type, you could not change them is about frustations, unhapiness life, unbalance with them self from many reasons...stay away from her/him.... piscking up on people it seesm that give them a pleasure of slef defining like good nurses and in control with them life, is fake image about them sleve...

My advice, talk with your superiors.

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How do you know that she is saying theses things to be snarky? Maybe she is sincerely trying to help improve the unit.

Sounds like she makes you feel insecure.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

Is this nurse finding legitimate mistakes, like med errors or missed treatments? If so, that's a good thing. She may be trying to prevent or rectify errors, not pick nits. Little things can mean a lot when lives are at stake. Would you rather be reminded by a peer, or your supervisor?

If she's just picking nits or contradicting policy, she's a problem. I would confront her privately, to find out what her deal is.

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It's simple. She doesn't have enough to do. Arrange to have this rectified.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
We think very alike.:D

Oh, thank goodness!!! This is probably something I would say, and I did end up in this position at a previous job and something like this did come out - before I could stop it, but I have to say, it did the trick. But, like I said, I'm glad that there are others that think like me.

Anne, RNC

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Specializes in ER, PACU, Med-Surg, Hospice, LTC.
Any ideas of what I can say or do to put her in her place?

Personally, as irritating and annoying as these people can be, I wouldn't say a mean word to her.

Just thank her for assisting you. Look how much work she is creating for herself and by doing this, she is doing you a favor, lol!

Give it time. This behavior always backfires on these people. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. In time she will make hers and then it can be pointed out (nicely).

She'll get it.

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Ok, say she is just trying to be snarky... I usuallly work my response to people like that in the way of shining the light back on to them.

Say... "Oh Snarky Nurse, geeeeeez, I really appreciate you watching my back and all, but WOW (big dramatic pause inserted here), you sure do have enuf of your own problems to deal with, don't ya?" :innerconf

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Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

hmmm, the only one who has the right to put anyone "in their place" are the bosses because they have that authority. i find it interesting that you refer to this co-worker as "a snake", that "i think she may be doing this because she's insecure with herself or maybe she's proud of recently becoming a mentor for the newer nurses" and that "she didn't have to interview for it [mentor for the newer nurses]". the thing is, if she is pointing out mistakes that you made, i think your anger at her is misplaced. (ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad--aldous huxley) correct your mistakes, thank her for her interest in your documentation and strive to improve yours. this nurse is obviously working toward mastering the skill of documentation. what would be your purpose in wanting to discourage another colleague from pursuing a professional endeavor?

btw i think the other issue here, because you specifically mention it, is that you aren't part of this mentoring program and she is ("she didn't have to interview for it either").

envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.

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Specializes in ICU.
hmmm, the only one who has the right to put anyone "in their place" are the bosses because they have that authority. i find it interesting that you refer to this co-worker as "a snake", that "i think she may be doing this because she's insecure with herself or maybe she's proud of recently becoming a mentor for the newer nurses" and that "she didn't have to interview for it [mentor for the newer nurses]". the thing is, if she is pointing out mistakes that you made, i think your anger at her is misplaced. (ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad--aldous huxley) correct your mistakes, thank her for her interest in your documentation and strive to improve yours. this nurse is obviously working toward mastering the skill of documentation. what would be your purpose in wanting to discourage another colleague from pursuing a professional endeavor?

btw i think the other issue here, because you specifically mention it, is that you aren't part of this mentoring program and she is ("she didn't have to interview for it either").

envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.

wow, so we know you are that nurse.. lol

i don't think anyone is envying the know it all, perfect nurse criticizer.

let me just say that a little critiquing is good, it keeps us all on our toes. but when we are told everyday that we're doing something wrong just because it's not the way someone else does it, and not necessarily the wrong way,, ... it get's on our nerves.

op- if it really is getting to the point where it is bugging you and you're thinking about it on your time off, you should say something. you shouldn't be put through grief from a nurse like this. let her critique the nurses she is mentoring, not you.

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heres how id deal with it and this is how i deal with coworkers who decide their my boss. "how about ill worry about my work, you worry about your work and if their's a problem im sure the unit manager will discuss it with me".

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