How Not to Get Taken Advantage Of

[DisneyNurseGal]

So I made a resolution for this upcoming semester... I am not going to let people walk all over me!

I am highly efficient and crazy organized. My notes are renowned, I record every lecture (and type them into my notes), my calendar is impeccable, and I do crazy good outlines. Please do not think me conceited, organization is my forte' and I take it (and my studies) seriously.

The problem is, people know these things about me, and I feel they take advantage of me. "Can you email the lecture that I missed on Thursday", "can I copy your calendar on the copy machine", "I didn't have time to read can I copy your concept map" - you get the idea. There are those in my class that I have no problem sharing and helping, because I KNOW THEY WOULD DO IT FOR ME! These individuals help me when I have questions, or problems, and they are the people I keep in my close circle.

So my question is this, does anyone have some tactful, (possibly witty) responses I can give to people when they ask me for too much? We have a small class of 30, so it is not like I can be rude (NOR DO I WANT TO BE) because I still have to co-exist with these people... I just don't want to be their doormat every time they get behind.

[DisneyNurseGal, BSN, RN]

I appreciate what everyone is saying and there are some great ideas.

I don't share all of my information is basically for the reasons mentioned above. Some of these students are the ones who talk, giggle and Facebook through every lecture and yet want me to hand over the work I did transcribing the lecture. Let me be clear ... they are not asking for me to HELP them (which if they did, I would gladly), they want me to just to give them everything. My study group is a group based on mutual respect, we divvy up test material and each take a turn lecturing the group. We have invited some of these people and EVERY time they show up unprepared, and do not contribute. These are also the same people who you do not want to be partnered with for group projects because they do not do their share, and just show up and get the credit. I am all for helping those who help themselves, I just have no desire to hand these free-loaders their education.

It has nothing to do with not paying it forward as I will help many in the class, I am talking about a select few.

[yupthischickanurse]

Just give them an excuse back!!

Them "Can I see ur calendar"

You "Sorry I forgot"

Them "Can I copy ur calendar"

You "I'm actually in a hurry gotta go fed my dog" lol u get what I mean. They usually get the hint.

I like that one

[rubato, ASN, RN]

How about:

"It would be such a disservice to you if I gave you these. I want you to succeed and the best way to do that is to do the work. That way it cements the info in your brain".

Helpful, thinking of them, but not doing the work for them.

[chare]

Why would you choose not to share freely and openly with anybody who asks?

...It doesn't cost me a thing to email or post files for others to download and it's no skin off my nose if they're trying to do less work for themselves.

I agree with both of these statements. If you opt not to share your work I would suggest you be direct rather than humorous; just tell whomever asks that you no longer will be sharing your work.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I agree with being straightforward and firm ... but polite and friendly. I would probably say something like, "I have been asked by so many people for that type of thing that I am getting uncomfortable with it. I don't want to take over that role for the class."

But ... maybe you should start a little "business". If you are not comfortable asking for money -- ask a favor in return. No "payment" = no more help from you.

[QueenAnnissa]

I'm not sure about handing over something like a concept map created from the required reading, that is a lot to ask of a fellow student. What is that saying, a lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part? As far as your notes from lecture that someone missed, I would definitely share that with a student who missed class. It is generally up to the student to get caught up on material missed due to an absence, and we are supposed to seek out our classmates for this. It is something that probably could easily be emailed, right?

[SaoirseRN]

You can suggest that your time is valuable and if they want copies of your notes, you are going to start charging $10 per copy.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

You can suggest that your time is valuable and if they want copies of your notes, you are going to start charging $10 per copy.

Per page. :)

[aTOMicTom]

What is that saying, a lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part?

This! Get a T-shirt made and just point to it when they ask!

Also, I cannot believe people giggle/websurf/facebook during class. This is college, right? Your profs should be ashamed (but the gigglers should be more ashamed).

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

Make a policy that you don't hand over notes, concept maps, etc. unless their current grade (percentage) is equal or greater than yours. That will eliminate all the freeloaders and will benefit only those who have no incentive to take advantage of you.

[veggie530]

I don't really get it.

I let people have any of my work they wanted so long as it didn't inconvenience me.

The work I put in forged my character and work ethic. If they want to forego that and have poor character, work ethic, etc...that's on them. It'll catch up.

Or, if you don't want to share, just say no and tell them to do their own work.

And then give them a wide eyed mean face.

[LoriRNCM, ADN, ASN, RN]

For all the above reasons I think I shall keep my study habits and organizational habits to myself in NS. Fortunately I study better by myself anyway. I've been in labs where the other members don't contribute and spend the entire time texting and gossiping and giggling, then want to copy your lab work. Um, no. You may be taking care of me or one of my loved ones in the hospital one day, so learn the material! If it were notes that they missed due to an emergency or something, that's totally different. But slackers who don't want to be bothered with paying attention in lecture and taking their own notes? No.