How Not to Get Taken Advantage Of

[DisneyNurseGal]

So I made a resolution for this upcoming semester... I am not going to let people walk all over me!

I am highly efficient and crazy organized. My notes are renowned, I record every lecture (and type them into my notes), my calendar is impeccable, and I do crazy good outlines. Please do not think me conceited, organization is my forte' and I take it (and my studies) seriously.

The problem is, people know these things about me, and I feel they take advantage of me. "Can you email the lecture that I missed on Thursday", "can I copy your calendar on the copy machine", "I didn't have time to read can I copy your concept map" - you get the idea. There are those in my class that I have no problem sharing and helping, because I KNOW THEY WOULD DO IT FOR ME! These individuals help me when I have questions, or problems, and they are the people I keep in my close circle.

So my question is this, does anyone have some tactful, (possibly witty) responses I can give to people when they ask me for too much? We have a small class of 30, so it is not like I can be rude (NOR DO I WANT TO BE) because I still have to co-exist with these people... I just don't want to be their doormat every time they get behind.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Didn't read all of the responses.

Just say no.

Also, how do they know all these things about you. I didn't know the study habits of my classmates when I was in school. I occasionally shared my outlines with my entire cohort, but it wasn't a regular nor expected thing.

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

Good day, ebailey1218:

As you know, you have several choices:

1. You can become an entrepreneur and sell access to what they are asking to have copies of for reasonable prices. Copy of the calendar? $5.00 please. Copy of the lecture notes? $10.00 please. Etc. Make the price high enough to cover your time as well as an incentive for them to learn how to do it themselves.

2. Include personal information on all of the documents; then, truthfully state the documents contain personal information... sorry, no.

3. Just say "no."

Thank you.

[Emilyktee]

Ugh I've been in that situation where I give them an excuse, but then they will say some bs like "well do you think I can just take your notes home, copy them tonight, and I'll give them back to you in class tomorrow?"

LOL now THAT sucks..

[SaoirseRN]

Per page. :)

Now that is what I'm talking about!

[DisneyNurseGal, BSN, RN]

Also, how do they know all these things about you. I didn't know the study habits of my classmates when I was in school. I occasionally shared my outlines with my entire cohort, but it wasn't a regular nor expected thing.

I type my notes using Microsoft OneNote, so the people behind me can see on my laptop during lecture, and word has gotten around just through word of mouth mostly because of monthly group projects and study groups--I have never advertised the fact.

There are a couple in my class that have this problem as well, so luckily there are others that share my pain.

[i♥words]

Ugh I've been in that situation where I give them an excuse, but then they will say some bs like "well do you think I can just take your notes home, copy them tonight, and I'll give them back to you in class tomorrow?"

LOL now THAT sucks..

Yep. I cannot tell a lie, so if I don't have a truthful reason for not emailing my notes, I just say okay and do it. At one point in a pre-req class a classmate sent me an email after almost every class asking for my notes. I replied maybe three times with my notes attached, but after that I just ignored them, and I never heard from that particular person again. If you are endlessly sending notes and concept maps to people, just say you can't anymore because it takes up too much of your time.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Funny coincidence. I just read a post in The Chronicle of Higher Education (newspaper for college staff) about the same topic -- what to do about those people who "take" all the time and don't "give back." That poster suggested a new book by Adam M. Grant called "Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success" ... and concluded that we are morally obligated NOT to help such people as they just end up getting more power and eventually consuming all the world's resources. If we good people continue to let them feed on us, we (and everything good) eventually gets consumed and/or ruined by them.

The post (and perhaps this book) raise a good point.

[swansonplace]

Hey,

This collaboration thing only worked just before an exam, or on a project that everyone was working on. We, the class, would all collaborate via email, or drop box. It was great. This was a couple man job though. One person did emails, others gave notes, and others collaborated. It really worked for us, but only before an exam or on a project.

We used it to help keep everyone on track, and assist where needed. But, otherwise we were all on our own. The trick was to get everyone participating and helping out, not just one person giving all of the work.

One person started it by posting notes. Then, a couple of people helped him out. Soon we were dividing the work, and collaborating with each other as a class. It saved lots of time, and not one person did all of the work. Our class ended up being a very happy and helpful class where most of our class graduated because of this.

[DisneyNurseGal, BSN, RN]

... suggested a new book by Adam M. Grant called "Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success" ...

Thanks for the tip... hopefully worth the $11.99 I just paid to download it to my Kindle. This topic has gotten the gears in my head turning about a topic for a paper on professional responsibility I have to write this semester for one of my classes. Thanks again

[queserasera, RN]

Goodness, I sure do relate to you on this! My notes and study guides are my babies. I put so much meticulous care and detail into each one they do quickly become the envy of my other class mates. I'm lucky in that I make it a point to only share my work with one other person, who in turn shares theirs with me. When others ask I always say I'm happy to help them if they have a specific question, but can't give them a carbon copy of my notes because they lose their power if they're copied. It usually gets a few laughs and confused looks. Some people probably think there is actually something wrong with me, but hey, no one asks anymore! Haha!!

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Why would you choose not to share freely and openly with anybody who asks?

I do some pretty good notes myself (my pharmacology flashcards posted on this site have been pretty well received) and I've always offered to share anything that I've created with anybody. It doesn't cost me a thing to email or post files for others to download and it's no skin off my nose if they're trying to do less work for themselves.

I suppose if a class were graded on a curve I might be more reluctant to benefit someone else but otherwise, once I've created my materials I'm fine sharing them freely.

I create my study aids for my own use and warrant nothing about them to anybody but I've no problem with letting others benefit from them and I don't really get why you wouldn't either.

And this I noticed long ago: Paying it forward will often have unanticipated benefits.

I'll admit my first response to the OP was not the above.

My thoughts mirrored most of the posters. Let the losers do their own work.

I'm paraphrasing of course.

The generosity of the above post made me think twice.

Acting in such a way would make me a better person.

Karma is a mighty thing.

[mind_body_soul RN]

It would behoove them to get organized themselves/do their own work now, or else they are going to have a hard time as a nurse when they find that nobody is going to do their work for them!