How Not to Get Taken Advantage Of

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So I made a resolution for this upcoming semester... I am not going to let people walk all over me!

I am highly efficient and crazy organized. My notes are renowned, I record every lecture (and type them into my notes), my calendar is impeccable, and I do crazy good outlines. Please do not think me conceited, organization is my forte' and I take it (and my studies) seriously.

The problem is, people know these things about me, and I feel they take advantage of me. "Can you email the lecture that I missed on Thursday", "can I copy your calendar on the copy machine", "I didn't have time to read can I copy your concept map" - you get the idea. There are those in my class that I have no problem sharing and helping, because I KNOW THEY WOULD DO IT FOR ME! These individuals help me when I have questions, or problems, and they are the people I keep in my close circle.

So my question is this, does anyone have some tactful, (possibly witty) responses I can give to people when they ask me for too much? We have a small class of 30, so it is not like I can be rude (NOR DO I WANT TO BE) because I still have to co-exist with these people... I just don't want to be their doormat every time they get behind.

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I would just explain to them that you have had ppl take advantage of you and you will no longer just hand over your hard work but you wouldn't mind to show them you how to do your methods of things.

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Just give them an excuse back!!

Them "Can I see ur calendar"

You "Sorry I forgot"

Them "Can I copy ur calendar"

You "I'm actually in a hurry gotta go fed my dog" lol u get what I mean. They usually get the hint.

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Just be honest and stand up for yourself. Say you have had too many people trying to get you to give them your work, so you will not be doing it anymore, but that you would be happy to study with them or answer questions. Just be polite and friendly but stand firm.

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I like the idea of teaching them your ways!

Feel free to teach us too! You sound amazing but in all seriously you need to learn to say no- it may just start with notes and calendar coping but it will escalate to more and more over time especially when you are working and then you will have lost you ability to say no! Learn No now it will help you in the future!

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Don't let them know that you've created these resources for yourself!

Let me also point this out...the LEARNING is in the creating of these things...not in the actual concept map/outline that has been created. So while they may use these tools to study, you have the understanding...and that my dear, is what is required to answer critical thinking questions.

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Why would you choose not to share freely and openly with anybody who asks?

I do some pretty good notes myself (my pharmacology flashcards posted on this site have been pretty well received) and I've always offered to share anything that I've created with anybody. It doesn't cost me a thing to email or post files for others to download and it's no skin off my nose if they're trying to do less work for themselves.

I suppose if a class were graded on a curve I might be more reluctant to benefit someone else but otherwise, once I've created my materials I'm fine sharing them freely.

I create my study aids for my own use and warrant nothing about them to anybody but I've no problem with letting others benefit from them and I don't really get why you wouldn't either.

And this I noticed long ago: Paying it forward will often have unanticipated benefits.

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I make myself rarely available during those moments. Find your hiding spot in the library and don't tell anyone except those who give reciprocity when it comes to sharing resources. Eventually they'll figure out they're on their own.

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Specializes in Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation.

Hm, I was in your position in regards to having all the notes and stuff (the "go to" person); however, I thought of it as completely the opposite of being taken advantage of. My study group and I are really close (we grew from 4 people, to about 10 or more that come in and out when we study). I was the one that coordinated all the study sessions, I "lectured" at the study sessions, and I did all the chapter and lecture notes. I sent them freely to anyone that asked regardless if I knew them well enough or not. I personally didn't want anyone in my class failing. I did all those notes for myself because they helped me, if it could help someone else that's awesome. It would not hurt me if I sent out the notes so why not? I do let those know that ask for my notes that they really should consider focusing more on the book rather than my notes though.

I guess I can kind of see how you're being taken advantage of, but I don't think you should see it that way. If you feel uncomfortable about sending your notes out, just let them know. They're your nursing family so they will understand.

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Why would you choose not to share freely and openly with anybody who asks?

I do some pretty good notes myself (my pharmacology flashcards posted on this site have been pretty well received) and I've always offered to share anything that I've created with anybody. It doesn't cost me a thing to email or post files for others to download and it's no skin off my nose if they're trying to do less work for themselves.

I suppose if a class were graded on a curve I might be more reluctant to benefit someone else but otherwise, once I've created my materials I'm fine sharing them freely.

I create my study aids for my own use and warrant nothing about them to anybody but I've no problem with letting others benefit from them and I don't really get why you wouldn't either.

And this I noticed long ago: Paying it forward will often have unanticipated benefits.

Some people are lazy and don't want to do the hard work. I think it would be different if they were bringing something equal to the table to share but yes there are way to may moochers out there & I don't blame op for not wanting to hand over her work...

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Like what Jenny said above, some people get AWFULLY FRIENDLY when they need something from you. The rest of the time they can't remember your name. Funny how that works!

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Why would you choose not to share freely and openly with anybody who asks?

I do some pretty good notes myself (my pharmacology flashcards posted on this site have been pretty well received) and I've always offered to share anything that I've created with anybody. It doesn't cost me a thing to email or post files for others to download and it's no skin off my nose if they're trying to do less work for themselves.

I suppose if a class were graded on a curve I might be more reluctant to benefit someone else but otherwise, once I've created my materials I'm fine sharing them freely.

I create my study aids for my own use and warrant nothing about them to anybody but I've no problem with letting others benefit from them and I don't really get why you wouldn't either.

And this I noticed long ago: Paying it forward will often have unanticipated benefits.

I am a lot like the OP, in that I am very organized and take very good notes and never miss class. I have absolutely no problem helping people who are working hard, and maybe need a little help or need to see my notes every now then because something unexpected came up, especially if the person asking for help is the kind of person who would help me if I needed it.

What I do have a problem with is people who can't be bothered to show up for class or make notes of their own and then expect me to give them mine, and I do say no in those situations. I do try to say it politely, and I do include an offer to help them if they are not understanding something. In my experience, those people do not usually want help, they want to copy someone else's work.

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