How much trouble am I ? Scale: 1 to super fired

Nurses Relations

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Soo quick back story- I work 2 casual jobs one I love and a bedside one that pays for childcare, keeps my skills up, and gives me insite for my side gig nursing lobbying/activism ( Not joking, this is my true true passion!)

I am an experienced critical care nurse +3 years, came from an academic medical center..recently I started working at communitry hospital

The floor is not what Im use to, staffing is junk, 6 to 1, no CNAs, no unit clerk, and just 2-3 nurses. The doctors have you do everything for them (orders, consults, med recs, everything, etc ) and they very are disrepsectful.

Soooo a few days ago, Im at work, everyone was as mean as a snake. I got called stupid 5 times by 3 different doctors ( for not consulting fast enough, not knowing a patient's 5 year medical history blah blah blah). My patients and families were upset about various things out of my control- nursing home placement, garbage, poor prognosis etc.

I had 7 patients no CNA no clerk.

So I'm trying to get this patient a tray before it's too late and the computer deleted her. I made some calls and kept getting transfered around and around to different departments, until I reach a very mean person on the other end who would not listen to my question, I literally couldn't get a word out.

The person on the other end did not introduce themselves, and just kept telling me you need to call someone else over and over and over again. THATS IT, no other words.

So after a day of harrassment I finally decided to stick up for myself- I said:

"Ok I'll try elsewhere but can you take that tone out of your voice"

Person on the other end? A nursing director.

She of course got really really really angry. Stunned- I said Im sorry but you were really mean.

Once I hung up the phone, another nurse said " Oh her, she always sounds like that, but she's a director- I guess the truth hurt her feelings"

I immediately called back the administrator/house supervisor and explained I thought I was talking to a peer.

Then I called the director: apologized and said I was mortified/embarrassed and thought she was a peer and that I would never speak that way to a director, however I did feel attacked.

She of course then tore me apart, telling me I should be embarrassed and to "watch it."

who did I think I was.

I then called my manager, explained the situation, and asked if I was fired. She said yeah ***** does sound like that, thats just her personality. I asked if I was fired- she said no, just be more careful.

But for real, am I fired? I left feeling awful- and of course I keep going over my work from the day and thinking about how they can pluck apart my charting and fire me for something I missed or did.

What to do next? Resign cause she is going to be out for me? Just keep quiet and stay until 3 am charting to be perfect? Go to HR for lateral violence?

I don't need this job at all but I have quit another job previously for poor working conditions ( previous post: Pregnant and harrassed by management ). and I don't really want to make it a habit. I am also starting to think nursing is this way at 90% of places.

Oh my record- clean, no write ups. No previous occurances, at any hospital.

Yes of course everyone deserves respect from the President of the hospital to the person who cleans the rooms. The difference is, to a peer you can say" take the tone out of your voice" and then they typically say "oh sorry, bad day" or they just go on there way without a peep. With a higher up- my situation happens. If I had known it was a boss I was talking to, I would have taken her abuse for the minute and then after I would have wrote an email to her boss and cc'd her on it.

She very well may not like you after this, and she may be on the lookout for other reasons to fire you. But I highly doubt she will fire you for being rude to her over the phone.

At this point, though, I would be extra careful with my charting, clocking out on time, etc. If she's that easily offended, I would be surprised if she looks for ways to build a case against you, and she would probably love to find a legitimate reason to let you go.

Good luck! I probably would have freaked out at first, too!

Specializes in ICU / PCU / Telemetry / Oncology.

Wow ... I hope you're looking for a new job. Not because I feel that you're fired, but because I feel that going to HR to report lateral violence is indeed useless in that place. Get the hell out of there, seriously!

I'd bet the stress and aggravation was audible in your voice after being verbally abused, understaffed and being transferred around while you're trying to get a tray to your patient on a typically stressful shift. If not, you must be a saint. Own that you allowed your stress to show and if she ends up making an issue out of it hold your head up.

But as pointed out by everyone else, you've got bigger issues going on if everyone is mean or very mean and calling you derogatory names. It is difficult for me to believe that 3 different MD's literally called you stupid in one day, but if it's exactly as you desribe, I'd be making formal appts in HR after obtaining some form of legal counsel.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
If the director was really nasty and if you treated her exactly as you would have a peer or subordinate who was nasty and if she hadn't identified herself as a director, I don't understand why you're so mortified or why you would call BACK to apologize. She was nasty. You (say you were) polite when you asked her to "take that tone out of her voice." She blew up. You apologized. End of story.

I once told a world famous infectious disease physician that if he couldn't speak to me respectfully, he shouldn't speak to me at all. After thinking about it for awhile, he apologized. (I also hung up on the President of the US once, but that's another story.) My point is that being a director doesn't exempt you from being polite, and if you're corrected for being rude you ought to just apologize and shape up. Whether you're a director of a community hospital, the President of the US, a world famous physician or whatever.

If you were polite, you have nothing to be sorry for. If you weren't, you're probably fired.

​This is a story you need to share!

​This is a story you need to share!

yes, please!!

I would have told her straight up, "I don't care who are you or your job title"

It has been my experience over my 17 year career as an RN that if you are fired, there are no if's, and's or but's...they are going to let you know post haste the "status" of your employ, if you get my drift, and not just allow you to "hang around", wondering. Honestly, I understand your concern...no one WANTS to have a termination on their resume, certainly not for being insubordinate. That being said, as I see it, you went FAR beyond what was required in terms of your efforts to apologize. You also forgot one thing and the fact that no one mentioned this to you during the course of going from person to person apologizing is pretty grotesque and I believe, unless I was really hurting for the money (and if so would begin looking for other employment immediately) I would quit ASAP...not one person, INCUDING the DON, pointed out that your DON IS your "PEER"!! At least, in a reputable institution...and when you pointed out politely "I am SO sorry, I though I was talking to a 'peer'." the DON herself, IMO should have immed. clarified, "Well technically I AM your PEER, we are BOTH RNs. I happen to have a title that means I am responsible for making more decisions than you are, and I have (probably??) more experience than you, however, we are both nurses, and both, along with every other nurse here, are responsible for the care and well-being of these patients. Thus, I appreciate that you took the time to call back and apologize to me, however, I honestly owe YOU an apology as well, because AS the DON AND AS your PEER, it WAS just as much if not MORE my responsibility than yours to ensure that patient was put back into the computer under the proper name and room number and was delivered a tray to eat as ordered by the physician!"

You were attempting to carry out nursing orders, and as the DON, saying, 'Call someone else' (or whatever she repeatedly stated!) is negligent. She should have immediately teamed up with you as BOTH your supervisor AND your PEER to get that patient's needs met! Thus, she should have apologized to YOU!

I think whether or not you are fired might become the least of your worries! If you truly are the advocate you say you are, advocate that the facility hire a DON who wants the best for her patients, treats the staff like equals (EXCEPT when it is impossible to do so, such as when it comes to reprimanding another RN for something SERIOUS, not something SILLY like you asking for "a kinder tone to her voice"). Come ON! That's crazy, and I'd be getting as far away as possible from this facility; AFTER writing up the DON!!

Just in case I didn't make it clear (and no I have thank God never been "fired" per se; but I have seen plenty of others go though such, some warranted, others certainly not warranted) WHEN A NURSE is FIRED, there is paperwork done promptly, she is pulled off the floor and the schedule asap and there is no QUESTION what went down. So just go about your business, continue working if that is the choice you have made, and pretend this didn't happen in terms of disciplinary action, as I really do not think your job is at risk for this crazy situation. Best of luck to you and I do hope this LONG post helped...God Bless!! :0)

I would never put up with any of the things you do! The first time anyone called me stupid, I'd have been gone. That's abuse. We are not stupid, and people, including doctors (who are not any better than us or anyone else) need to be treat people with respect and be pleasant or they should stay home. Nope. I would not put up with any of that! It's not normal, I've never run across anything like this!

Just . . . wow!

The attitude/behavior of the nursing director explains why that job is such a pit.

I don't buy that anyone, no matter how high their rank, gets a free ticket to tell me to 'watch it'. That is pathetic leadership, hell, it's not even leadership, it's dictatorship. And see the results in how the hospital is run. Sh*t do roll downhill.

It's a learning experience, and will help you in your future job seeking. I declined one job offer many years ago because the nurse manager YELLED at me when I told her I was staffed to work weekends elsewhere. IN the interview! I didn't need a better hint about how she ran her nursing staff! Buh bye.

The 'culture' of management and admin will make or break your job on the floor. It's not always simple to discover the culture in an interview, but you can ask certain questions and WATCH the nonverbals when your interviewer answers. I've asked flat out about staff turnover, colleague relationships, how are the MDs. I interview them as well. It sucks to find out you are working in a pit after a week or two. Life is too short and my nursing skills too valuable and hard won.

Best of luck to you! You did nothing wrong. If the director neglected to answer the phone per the hospitals policies and introduce her dam self, it's not on you for not 'recognizing her voice' which I'm sure she is so entitled y'all peons should automatically know. Hell with that.

I agree with the previous posts, you should not have to tolerate such behavior from any "higher ups", whether MDs or DON's or unit managers. I am willing to bet this type of verbal abuse has been going on for some time and has become "accepted" at this facility. I would be looking around for a more friendly environment, put your feelers out and see what will work for you. I am guessing you have gotten the DON's attention, that may be a good thing, you really don't know. She may learn to respect you more because you did speak up. Perhaps she does not realize how she comes across to others, it sounds like it is more her problem than yours. Perhaps, she needs to have a "telephone manners" course. Just because she is the DON does not mean she is the end all of everything. There is someone above her and if you feel threatened you can go to that person. Remember, it costs them more to orient new staff than it does to keep the experienced ones. Sounds like the patient to nurse ratio is impossible and no CNA's is unheard of. They are cutting their costs to the quick and it will cost them in the long run. Congrats to you for speaking up!!

Specializes in hospice.

Why do you want to stay there? It sounds horrible.

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