How much trouble am I ? Scale: 1 to super fired

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Soo quick back story- I work 2 casual jobs one I love and a bedside one that pays for childcare, keeps my skills up, and gives me insite for my side gig nursing lobbying/activism ( Not joking, this is my true true passion!)

I am an experienced critical care nurse +3 years, came from an academic medical center..recently I started working at communitry hospital

The floor is not what Im use to, staffing is junk, 6 to 1, no CNAs, no unit clerk, and just 2-3 nurses. The doctors have you do everything for them (orders, consults, med recs, everything, etc ) and they very are disrepsectful.

Soooo a few days ago, Im at work, everyone was as mean as a snake. I got called stupid 5 times by 3 different doctors ( for not consulting fast enough, not knowing a patient's 5 year medical history blah blah blah). My patients and families were upset about various things out of my control- nursing home placement, garbage, poor prognosis etc.

I had 7 patients no CNA no clerk.

So I'm trying to get this patient a tray before it's too late and the computer deleted her. I made some calls and kept getting transfered around and around to different departments, until I reach a very mean person on the other end who would not listen to my question, I literally couldn't get a word out.

The person on the other end did not introduce themselves, and just kept telling me you need to call someone else over and over and over again. THATS IT, no other words.

So after a day of harrassment I finally decided to stick up for myself- I said:

"Ok I'll try elsewhere but can you take that tone out of your voice"

Person on the other end? A nursing director.

She of course got really really really angry. Stunned- I said Im sorry but you were really mean.

Once I hung up the phone, another nurse said " Oh her, she always sounds like that, but she's a director- I guess the truth hurt her feelings"

I immediately called back the administrator/house supervisor and explained I thought I was talking to a peer.

Then I called the director: apologized and said I was mortified/embarrassed and thought she was a peer and that I would never speak that way to a director, however I did feel attacked.

She of course then tore me apart, telling me I should be embarrassed and to "watch it."

who did I think I was.

I then called my manager, explained the situation, and asked if I was fired. She said yeah ***** does sound like that, thats just her personality. I asked if I was fired- she said no, just be more careful.

But for real, am I fired? I left feeling awful- and of course I keep going over my work from the day and thinking about how they can pluck apart my charting and fire me for something I missed or did.

What to do next? Resign cause she is going to be out for me? Just keep quiet and stay until 3 am charting to be perfect? Go to HR for lateral violence?

I don't need this job at all but I have quit another job previously for poor working conditions ( previous post: Pregnant and harrassed by management ). and I don't really want to make it a habit. I am also starting to think nursing is this way at 90% of places.

Oh my record- clean, no write ups. No previous occurances, at any hospital.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

If your calling is working as a nurse activist/lobbyist then why would you feel in the least bit bad about standing up for yourself? Why would you put with up being called stupid once, much less five times in one shift? I don't care if it was a peer or a nurse director that you finally said enough of this to, no matter what her position how she talked to you was unacceptable. No job is worth being treated like that.

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
If your calling is working as a nurse activist/lobbyist then why would you feel in the least bit bad about standing up for yourself? Why would you put with up being called stupid once, much less five times in one shift? I don't care if it was a peer or a nurse director that you finally said enough of this to, no matter what her position how she talked to you was unacceptable. No job is worth being treated like that.

You said this job teaches you things that are helpful in your other job. Well, for a nursing activist, this job just handed you a gift. Who can use activism more than a place where people treat each other like crap? Is there anyone you can approach in that hospital about the necessity for a culture change? I know there are resources for workplaces in need of some attitude adjustment. If you're not fired, then quit apologizing. Start speaking up about civility and respect. Why are you still in that terrible workplace? Must be a reason.

Specializes in GI Surgery Step-down.

I think you should find a job and quit w clean record

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

Why would it be OK for you to speak disrespectfully to a peer, but not to a supervisor? Shouldn't everyone be given respect? A nursing activist cares about everyone being treated with respect, not just the people at the top of the totem pole.

Specializes in OB/GYN, Psych.

Ridiculous. You didn't owe anyone an apology, you don't need to tolerate disrespect and verbal abuse, and you can find someplace better to work. Time to have higher expectations, seriously.

girl bye, it could oprah or jesus christ you aint gonna talk to me like im a fool. any questions?

:rolleyes:

my boss is known to be a douche, but to me? NOPE. why? i set that boundary that i aint the one. by you apologizing to this chick for cursing YOU out just set you up to be a victim all over again. what you did was 100% correct in telling her to change her tone.

chile plz, i wish a ***** would.

Specializes in nursing education.
Also, if you'd like to avoid repercussions, stop acting like you did something wrong. In fact, never bring it up again.

This is what I was thinking. Easy for me to say when it didn't happen to me though. Sorry you are going through this. Not every place is like that.

I have heard of bosses (male and high up the job ladder) who deliberately insult and disrespect an underling as a test of if the underling would stand up for themselves or not. Maybe you got fired, but didn't your morale improve that day you decided that you were not stupid and would take no more disrespect?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

"Ok I'll try elsewhere but can you take that tone out of your voice"

Person on the other end? A nursing director.

She of course got really really really angry. Stunned- I said Im sorry but you were really mean.

Once I hung up the phone, another nurse said " Oh her, she always sounds like that, but she's a director- I guess the truth hurt her feelings"

I immediately called back the administrator/house supervisor and explained I thought I was talking to a peer.

Then I called the director: apologized and said I was mortified/embarrassed and thought she was a peer and that I would never speak that way to a director, however I did feel attacked.

.

If the director was really nasty and if you treated her exactly as you would have a peer or subordinate who was nasty and if she hadn't identified herself as a director, I don't understand why you're so mortified or why you would call BACK to apologize. She was nasty. You (say you were) polite when you asked her to "take that tone out of her voice." She blew up. You apologized. End of story.

I once told a world famous infectious disease physician that if he couldn't speak to me respectfully, he shouldn't speak to me at all. After thinking about it for awhile, he apologized. (I also hung up on the President of the US once, but that's another story.) My point is that being a director doesn't exempt you from being polite, and if you're corrected for being rude you ought to just apologize and shape up. Whether you're a director of a community hospital, the President of the US, a world famous physician or whatever.

If you were polite, you have nothing to be sorry for. If you weren't, you're probably fired.

If the director was really nasty and if you treated her exactly as you would have a peer or subordinate who was nasty and if she hadn't identified herself as a director, I don't understand why you're so mortified or why you would call BACK to apologize. She was nasty. You (say you were) polite when you asked her to "take that tone out of her voice." She blew up. You apologized. End of story.

I once told a world famous infectious disease physician that if he couldn't speak to me respectfully, he shouldn't speak to me at all. After thinking about it for awhile, he apologized. (I also hung up on the President of the US once, but that's another story.) My point is that being a director doesn't exempt you from being polite, and if you're corrected for being rude you ought to just apologize and shape up. Whether you're a director of a community hospital, the President of the US, a world famous physician or whatever.

If you were polite, you have nothing to be sorry for. If you weren't, you're probably fired.

Oooooh, I'm curious to hear about the President of the US story Ruby!!

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

First of all, I'd quit asking if you're fired---you keep planting the seed!!! If you are fired, it does sound like a blessing in disguise, AND you can collect unemployment =)

Sounds like the person on the other end isn't used to being called out for her rude behavior, but she clearly needs to be!!

Thanks for all of the responses. I haven't heard anything from the hospital and my next shift isn't for another week. Now that I have had the time to think it over, here are some thoughts-

1) I wish I never apologized, but in the moment, I could see it becoming this woman's word against mine, and I didn't want it to turn into something totally nuts.

2) If I am fired- it would be foolish on their part. They gave me an unsafe situation and then topped it off with some verbal abuse from doctors and administrators, I felt harassed and then instinctively told the person to stop--- there is no way I would just quietly take it. The only question is who to call first, risk, HR, law office etc? I doubt it would be worth the trouble for them.

3) It's easier to stick up for people than to stick up for yourself. I have gone to bat before for patients, other nurses, doctors, I don't know why it was so hard when it was me.

4) Now that its not the heat of the moment, I have had some time to re-group. Assuming I am not fired, I plan on requesting to never ever work the floor again, only the ICU. The ICU isn't perfect but its def. closer to normal nursing. Since I don't need the job I have the upper hand. Why stay? If that can't happen, I'll resign and work the job that doesn't pay my bills (quality at another hospital)

5) I posted because as soon as this happened my paranoid meter went off..... this person did not seem nice at all- what if she is vengeful -they fire me, go after my certifications, license, and reputation etc... over one comment. I doubt it now, but I think I read the internet to much.

6) Its just another reason why I want to be activist. I just can't believe how we are treated and the work conditions we are put in.

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