How much is too much?

[alth]

How much information is appropriate to share with your patients about yourself? Sometimes I find myself maybe bring too friendly and possibly sharing too much? How do you answer personal questions without giving out too much?

[Anona-mouse]

Just like I was taught in the military; Name, Rank, and Serial Number.

[krisiepoo]

I share VERY little, like Anona said, however I will often talk about my dogs because it seems to get people involved if they know I have multiple golden retrievers and it's a great icebreaker

[CWONgal]

Never where you live, etc. I have shared with some of my cancer patients my personal hx of cancer. I try to be reserved w/it but have found the times I've shared the information it was helpful...the patients asked more questions, seemed to relax more around me, and would share things they might not share with family members.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

I share very little! I'll say I'm married and that I have pets ...but not much else. Most questions get a vague answer regarding the commonality of the human experience. And I never give opinions about anything- at all. I even had a patient ask me if I was stupid, once. I responded that, "Some people might say that, and some people might not."

[RNperdiem, RN]

I share only what might appear in public record: my name, how long I have worked here, yes I have kids(no further details given). I try to find the intent of this curiosity. Sometimes a patient is just being polite or want to make a connection. If I sense something sinister, I really clam up on any information.

[klone, MSN, RN]

It absolutely depends on the situation. I will dole out personal information as needed if I feel it might be therapeutic to the patient. For example, when I worked L&D, I had a lot of patients ask if I had kids, and I was comfortable sharing that information. When I was taking care of a woman who really wanted to have a natural childbirth, she would sometimes ask if I had a natural childbirth, and I would say yes, all three of my children were born without any drugs or interventions. This is important to many women - they want to know that the person who is taking care of them knows what they're talking about and can speak from experience. I have found that it has given my patients confidence that the nurse caring for them has done it herself and can empathize with what she is going through.

[PnutButterJelly]

I think it depends. I work in a chronic dialysis clinic. My patients know I have kids and their names and ages. They know my husbands career as well. That is really as far as I go though. I do see the same people all week. If I were in an acute setting, I wouldn't share as much.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I share about as much as I would to a stranger in line with me at McDonalds. Not much

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

I see this as part of a larger conversation.

Many newer nurses think it's part of making an authentic connection with a patient if they share their personal experiences with similar conditions/situations/etc. You see this a lot when they tell you why they went to nursing school: "I had a premie and the nurses were so wonderful, so I want to share my experiences with others." "I have a schizophrenic brother, and I can really relate to that experience." " I had a cancer diagnosis, and I ..." "I took care of my grandma when she was demented, and so I ..."

This viewpoint is wrongheaded, though well-meant. Note the big feature in all of those: I, I, I, I. In nursing, there is plenty of room for therapeutic use of self in communication, but that does not mean sharing your medical or social history, and you can look that up. Granted it's a skill that needs a lot of work to be done well, because on the face of it, to a newbie, "therapeutic use of self" sounds a lot like, "I am awesome so a really liberal application of me and my experiences can't fail to be therapeutic!" No, that's not what it means.

You can use your insights, at least at a beginning level, but remember, it is NEVER about you.

"Are you wondering about all those wires? Are you concerned about touching her? You are the most important person in her little life, you're her mother. Let me explain about what we're doing for your baby and what you can do while she's here ..."

"How is it going at home when he is with you?"

"What's the biggest thing that has happened to you about this?"

"Tell me about your grandmother. Have you noticed any changes since she has been here?"

[cassie77775]

I give very little, mostly that I have kids. I work Postpartum and it is a frequent question, usually wanted to just confirm that I am a nurse AND a mother and have that knowledge as well. I know a few nurses that friend their patients on facebook and there is no way I would do all that!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

GrnTea had a great answer. I do sometimes talk about my dogs -- it can be an icebreaker, and people think you're sharing more than you really are. Although I'll admit, I did get angry at a gentleman who insisted that he couldn't ambulate post-op because he needed a knee replacement. He walked IN to the hospital. After several go rounds of "I can't walk because I need a knee replacement", I reached my limit. "Well I need TWO knee replacements and I'm walking around taking care of YOU." It wasn't smart, but it did get him walking.