How much is too much?

[alth]

How much information is appropriate to share with your patients about yourself? Sometimes I find myself maybe bring too friendly and possibly sharing too much? How do you answer personal questions without giving out too much?

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

I've had pt's or families ask things about me that I would be 100% comfortable talking about at a dinner party, so I'll talk about w/ them too--where did you go to school, are you married, do you have kids, did you grow up in [our Metro] etc. At the same time I don't want to make the convo all about me, so I'll turn it back to them. The other night I had an A&O pt ask if I had a family, so I told her...which as usual elicited the response, "Wow, five kids?! You're a busy woman!" Then she asked how old they were, I answered, and then asked her about HER family.

Do you have a specific example of "is this too much info" in mind?

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

It's the rare patient who really wants to know anything about the staff. I find they ask questions, just so THEY can answer it. The nurse can provide her answer or not. It's not really required.

That's the way it's supposed to be. Sick people are self centered people. I include myself in that rather negative description. Again, that's how it's supposed to be.

I answer direct questions from a patient, but volunteer very little.

[Working4ALiving]

I don't volunteer much information about myself, but will answer personal questions on a case-by-case basis. For example, I will answer the question, "are you married?", "how long have you been a nurse?", "where did you go to school"?

However, I do not answer with my city of residence or names of family. I work in LTC. Most of these people just want someone to talk to.

[K+MgSO4, BSN]

Most people are enthralled by my irish accent and ask me where I'm from in Ireland how long I've been in Australia then they want to know if I'm staying. I turn the conversation around to their family or if they have been to Europe

[KRVRN, BSN, RN]

I'm sure it depends what type of unit it is. LTC for instance. Those tend to be older folk that, as mentioned, just want to talk. L/D and postpartum were mentioned. Women like to talk, and if the questions are about your family and kids, then I don't see a problem. Now in the ER or psych area, more caution is needed.

[HappyWife77, BSN, RN]

Talk about the weather, the local area news...anything but your personal life.

[Working4ALiving]

And then sometimes I will talk a lot about non-personal things, if the resident really pushes it....some of my residents just want to know what's going on with the rest of the world outside the facility....some are really that lonely and wish to temporarily escape their own situations. And some never have visitors

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

It's so funny that people in here say that some patients don't want to know much! 90% of my patients, or family if the patient can't talk, grill me about my personal life at some point. I think the difference is I live in a small-ish city in the South. People are EXTREMELY nosy here - I came from somewhere else in the South, but the people here are way nosier than the people where I used to live.

I have found that if I don't dole out a lot of personal information, the patient/family is a lot less likely to trust me. This area is so open as far as everyone knowing everyone that if you aren't willing to share information about yourself, people think you have something to hide or there's something wrong with you. It seems like the families here are really healthcare illiterate, and they care less about whether I know a lot or am good at my job than what kind of person I am. However, once I've submitted to a 30 minute grill session about every aspect of my life, even the "difficult" families will hug me and say they wish they could keep me forever, etc. I try to turn the conversation around back to the family but it only works sometimes. Some people are really persistent!

[Aurora77]

I share what I'm comfortable sharing; it really depends on the vibe I get from the patient I'm talking to. I tend to work my nights in a row, so I'll have the same patients and as we spend time together, I'll share more if it's appropriate. I get asked if I'm married or have kids--I have no problem answering that. I live in a rural area, with lots of small towns, so some people ask where I live, I'll tell them the town. I mostly use these questions to turn the conversation back to the patient--lots of older people love to talk about their kids and grandkids. I enjoy hearing their stories.

Only once have I shared something deeply personal. I had a patient admitted for suicidal ideation/depression. I had taken care of her before for something completely unrelated and we had hit it off. She was embarrassed about her depression (afraid of the stigma that comes with the diagnosis). I told her that I take an antidepressant and how much it had helped me. Was this the most appropriate thing to do? Maybe not, but I felt like it was. Would I do it again? Only in a very rare instance.