How some kids are being raised...

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Specializes in school nurse.

I was looking at my Medscape highlights feed and saw the headline "Stop Calling Children Resilient" and thought "Ha! That's certainly not an adjective I would pick to describe a lot of kids." but it made me remember-

Often on Fridays I will ask visitors to the health office if they're looking forward to the weekend, do they have anything planned etc., and one day a 7th grader (also, big for her age, she could have passed for a high school freshman) responded: "I have a playdate scheduled."

Really??? What combination of infantilization and/or arrested development is necessary for a girl that age to think that her weekends should consist of "playdates"?

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

I really worry about this generation.  These kids are spoon fed everything to the point where they get overwhelmed by the most mundane of tasks.  Case in point is the level of self-care that I like to promote in my office.  Itchy eye?  go into my bathroom and rinse with the sink water first... where's the bathroom?  Where's the light switch??  Paper cut?  Wash your hands AND dry them.  No, use the paper towels, not by shaking the water off your hands....  Where are bandaids?  In the jar right next to the sink.  The bewilderment is indescribable.  And I'm not talking about my littles, either, I'm talking about kids nearly going into high school.  

Specializes in school nurse.
11 minutes ago, Flare said:

I really worry about this generation.  These kids are spoon fed everything to the point where they get overwhelmed by the most mundane of tasks.  Case in point is the level of self-care that I like to promote in my office.  Itchy eye?  go into my bathroom and rinse with the sink water first... where's the bathroom?  Where's the light switch??  Paper cut?  Wash your hands AND dry them.  No, use the paper towels, not by shaking the water off your hands....  Where are bandaids?  In the jar right next to the sink.  The bewilderment is indescribable.  And I'm not talking about my littles, either, I'm talking about kids nearly going into high school.  

I know!

Plus the rationales for visits. Kids get up from their seats and bump their thighs/knees against the underside of their desks. Yeah, I know, it smarts- we've all done it. But really, you need to leave class to come to the health office??

Specializes in retired LTC.
12 hours ago, Jedrnurse said:

...... Really??? What combination of infantilization and/or arrested development is necessary for a girl that age to think that her weekends should consist of "playdates"?

In her defense - could that have just been an odd 'choice of words'? Do you know what activities constitute a 'playdate' for her? It could be an age-appropriate activity for her & friends. Just saying ...

 

13 hours ago, amoLucia said:

In her defense - could that have just been an odd 'choice of words'? Do you know what activities constitute a 'playdate' for her? It could be an age-appropriate activity for her & friends. Just saying ...

I agree somewhat.  When I was a kid the term playdate didn't even exist but I like it and I took to it quickly when setting up.... playdates.... for my own kids.  Now we use it as a fun term for 'hanging out and expecting to have fun'.  I also worry about 'kids these days' having less resilience but, again playing devil's advocate, their lack of resilience is at least partly from being taught the importance of exploring feelings and being okay with expressing weakness. I agree many many many of the nursing visits are completely unnecessary but remember 'back in the day' there were no nurses in many more schools than now.  There was never an option to come to see the nurse if we were feeling crappy or just hurt ourselves.  Not saying we are the reason for the problem but having a nurse in school invites kids to come.  As for blaming teachers for sending kids too quickly remember also how often we ourselves tell each other to err on the side of caution.  Some (not all) of my teachers are practically apologizing for sending a student they know is only minorly ailing but I try not to shame or discourage unless there is a pattern developing.  We all also need to acknowledge that just about every generation has worried about and been dismayed by 'kids these days'.  Perhaps we are just showing our age and, like every other up and coming generation (for the most part) the kids will be just fine.  I guess time will tell....

Specializes in school nurse.
29 minutes ago, arlingtonnurse said:

 We all also need to acknowledge that just about every generation has worried about and been dismayed by 'kids these days'.  Perhaps we are just showing our age and, like every other up and coming generation (for the most part) the kids will be just fine.  I guess time will tell....

While there certainly is (and probably always has been) a "Kids-These-Days" syndrome, there are also certain measurable things that support the idea that kids' agency/resilience/independence is less than it used to be. For example, fewer kids are going for their driver's licenses, or, if they do, they're waiting later.

Specializes in kids.

I guess,  in the big picture, I'd rather see her going for a play date than off to the big city (1+ hours away) with older siblings to a concert, coming home way late at nite...and the most "responsible" person is the 17 year old who is driving...

Specializes in School Nursing.
On 3/14/2022 at 8:38 AM, Flare said:

I really worry about this generation.  These kids are spoon fed everything to the point where they get overwhelmed by the most mundane of tasks.  Case in point is the level of self-care that I like to promote in my office.  Itchy eye?  go into my bathroom and rinse with the sink water first... where's the bathroom?  Where's the light switch??  Paper cut?  Wash your hands AND dry them.  No, use the paper towels, not by shaking the water off your hands....  Where are bandaids?  In the jar right next to the sink.  The bewilderment is indescribable.  And I'm not talking about my littles, either, I'm talking about kids nearly going into high school.  

I'm in a high school and get the same questions! We have 2 rooms in the clinic, 1 waiting room for the students to wait for parents in, and the other is a screening room/ Nursing room for staff. The rooms had to be labeled right and left, and even with the labeling they can't tell their right from their left. It is absolutely frightening. 504's, well all Mommy has to do is ask for one, and say you have symptoms of something, and boom, just like that, you have a 504, need it or not. How is that fair to other students? 

Specializes in school nurse.
4 hours ago, NutmeggeRN said:

I guess,  in the big picture, I'd rather see her going for a play date than off to the big city (1+ hours away) with older siblings to a concert, coming home way late at nite...and the most "responsible" person is the 17 year old who is driving...

True, but whatever happened to "I walked over to my friend's house and we hung out?"

Specializes in kids.
17 hours ago, Jedrnurse said:

True, but whatever happened to "I walked over to my friend's house and we hung out?"

Totally agree!

On 3/15/2022 at 5:19 AM, Jedrnurse said:

While there certainly is (and probably always has been) a "Kids-These-Days" syndrome, there are also certain measurable things that support the idea that kids' agency/resilience/independence is less than it used to be. For example, fewer kids are going for their driver's licenses, or, if they do, they're waiting later.

Fewer kids can afford to purchase or maintain a vehicle, much less insure it and put fuel in it in this pandemic world.  Driving cars was not equally embraced by all ethnic groups, to begin with.  So driving isn't really a measure of the resiliency of a generation or a group of people. IMV 

Am example of resilience in childhood is a child easily accepting and wearing a face mask because it makes good sense to try not to get grandma sick during a pandemic and really isn't uncomfortable for the child...just slightly inconvenient...but children are resilient so they will adapt. 

 

I'm not a school nurse, but as a PICU nurse I found the article an interesting read.

Stop Calling Children Resilient

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