I was looking at my Medscape highlights feed and saw the headline "Stop Calling Children Resilient" and thought "Ha! That's certainly not an adjective I would pick to describe a lot of kids." but it made me remember-
Often on Fridays I will ask visitors to the health office if they're looking forward to the weekend, do they have anything planned etc., and one day a 7th grader (also, big for her age, she could have passed for a high school freshman) responded: "I have a playdate scheduled."
Really??? What combination of infantilization and/or arrested development is necessary for a girl that age to think that her weekends should consist of "playdates"?
Fewer kids can afford to purchase or maintain a vehicle, much less insure it and put fuel in it in this pandemic world. Driving cars was not equally embraced by all ethnic groups, to begin with. So driving isn't really a measure of the resiliency of a generation or a group of people. IMV
This predates COVID. Also, it involves teenagers wanting to get a license. (You don't have to be able to afford a car in order to occasionally borrow the family one. Is this an option for everyone? No. But it is for a sizable segment of the population.) There are fewer kids getting part-time jobs as well.
This predates COVID. Also, it involves teenagers wanting to get a license. (You don't have to be able to afford a car in order to occasionally borrow the family one. Is this an option for everyone? No. But it is for a sizable segment of the population.) There are fewer kids getting part-time jobs as well.
So how does fewer teens getting drivers licenses equate with not being resilient?
So how does fewer teens getting drivers licenses equate with not being resilient?
...more older teenagers still depending on mommy and daddy to drive them everywhere. Also, they're delaying a rite of passage and a step towards greater responsibility.
...more older teenagers still depending on mommy and daddy to drive them everywhere. Also, they're delaying a rite of passage and a step towards greater responsibility.
That says they are less resilient how? The teens that I know that don't drive ride bikes, scooters and other methods of conveyance like 4 wheelers (atvs) and snow machines. They walk. They take the city bus. Heck some of them get pulled around by their dogs.
Perhaps you are describing a rite of passage for a particular culture in a different time or that is more related to a region.
That says they are less resilient how? The teens that I know that don't drive ride bikes, scooters and other methods of conveyance like 4 wheelers (atvs) and snow machines. They walk. They take the city bus. Heck some of them get pulled around by their dogs.
Perhaps you are describing a rite of passage for a particular culture in a different time or that is more related to a region.
Maybe. I sure see a heck of a lot of chauffeuring around my parts. There are other (measurable) indicators. One of the biggest ones is the explosion of college freshman inundating campus mental health clinics (again, pre-COVID). They hit a wall of adult-ish expectations away from mom and dad and they fall to pieces.
Maybe. I sure see a heck of a lot of chauffeuring around my parts. There are other (measurable) indicators. One of the biggest ones is the explosion of college freshman inundating campus mental health clinics (again, pre-COVID). They hit a wall of adult-ish expectations away from mom and dad and they fall to pieces.
Resilience is the measure of how the kids recover from the collision with expectations that their parents didn't prepare them to navigate.
Resilience is the measure of how the kids recover from the collision with expectations that their parents didn't prepare them to navigate.
I can agree with that. So falling apart during freshman year because they have to "adult" is definitely not resilience. Or if you want to avoid my use of that word, let's call it "basic competence".
Yes all of this! I ask kids all the time if they were home and bumped their leg on the table would they grab an ice pack from their freezer? They just look at me. I’ve been getting SO many kids day after day that come in (sometimes more than once a day) because their throat STILL hurts (looks fine) or nose is STILL runny or sprained ankle STILL hurts like I can somehow magically make it stop or send them home (which I do neither) but oh so annoying they can’t handle any form of discomfort AT ALL! And the number of kids falling apart or having anxiety attacks is mind blowing! One girl wants to change schools because some kid called her short. I agree kids shouldn’t say mean things or bully but they will not make it in the real world if every little comment sets them off. I’m losing all patience and empathy. I just can’t deal with the sheer amount of neediness anymore.
I can agree with that. So falling apart during freshman year because they have to "adult" is definitely not resilience. Or if you want to avoid my use of that word, let's call it "basic competence".
Competence is different from resilience. What percentage of college freshmen fall apart, in your estimation? Have you read some research on this?
Competence is different from resilience. What percentage of college freshmen fall apart, in your estimation? Have you read some research on this?
Yes, competence is different from resilience, though it's related. I think that's why I wrote "avoid my use of the word, let's call it basic competence". It's clear that we don't agree, and, for my part, I don't want to play the "gotcha" word parsing game anymore. Below is one of a myriad of articles out there related to what I was getting at:
Competence is different from resilience. What percentage of college freshmen fall apart, in your estimation? Have you read some research on this?
I taught at the Community College level and I couldn't believe the lack of responsibility that was in my younger students. A month after my class ends, I get a phone call from a student, "I forgot to take my final, can you unlock it so I can take it now?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? She was crying when I told her no. "I got a question wrong on my quiz, can you reopen it so I can put the right answer in, since you graded it I see what I did wrong". Topics had to be geared based on the dynamics of the class. I loved to talk and have discussions about ethical issues, nothing like a good healthy debate where no answer is really wrong. OMG, I had to post trigger warnings, because some students would become upset, cry, ask to leave class. My ethics professor in college would have had a fit. The class was a virtual, Zoom class that was treated as though it was a face to face class, 4 weeks, 4 hours long. I was floored with students being in Target shopping, leaving class to go to appointments and thinking they can return to class, driving to go on vacation. I would call on these students for discussion questions and of course they could never answer them. My syllabus became so tight there was no arguing.
Yes, competence is different from resilience, though it's related. I think that's why I wrote "avoid my use of the word, let's call it basic competence". It's clear that we don't agree, and, for my part, I don't want to play the "gotcha" word parsing game anymore. Below is one of a myriad of articles out there related to what I was getting at:
Thanks for the citation. I wasn't playing gotcha...words have specific meanings and "competence" seems like the more appropriate descriptive word for what you were describing. I was trying to understand the point about "resilience" but it didn't fit with the meaning of the word...it fits better with "competence".
Jedrnurse, BSN, RN
2,776 Posts
This predates COVID. Also, it involves teenagers wanting to get a license. (You don't have to be able to afford a car in order to occasionally borrow the family one. Is this an option for everyone? No. But it is for a sizable segment of the population.) There are fewer kids getting part-time jobs as well.