How do I know it is right to quit nursing forever?

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I am a new graduate nurse who graduated last year in June. I took a new grad nurse initiative position in a city 5 hours away from home. The position was on a busy orthopaedics unit. I was young, single and thought the decision to move would be good as it will help me become more independent and grow a little bit.

I was wrong. I cried a lot. It was not the loneliness, it was the job. The loneliness just made it worse because I had no one close to support me. The co-workers were nice but they were very gossipy and that made me insecure because I would often wonder what they would be saying about me. I made many mistakes, and one day I made a med error and thought that I was unsafe. Well I am unsafe, med errors are a big deal. I followed the procedures that comes with making a med error and thankfully no harm was done on the patient. I felt horrible. So after days of freaking out, getting depressed and crying for the benefit of everyone I decided to quit and move back home.

My parents did not want to me quit nursing as I had invested a lot of time and effort in it. I tried nursing again this time in a LTC facility. It is slower paced, but I was responsible for 30 residents. I made two major errors that required counselling (but they only counselled me instead of discplining me because the facility does not have a union rep), the most recent error was not informing the POA that the resident refused blood work on two separate occassions. I had documented that the resident refused but I never informed them. The POA made a very big deal about it. I feel horrible. I have periods when I get depressed. I would sleep for hours on my days off ignoring my personal hygeine I would eat less because I just did not feel hungry.

I did well in nursing school (both theory and clinical) I just do not understand why this transiton period is not going so well. Why am I not excelling. I know no one is perfect, but I feel that in my gut nursing is not for me. My personality the way I think is not meant for nursing. I feel like I did well in nursing school because it was school, I just knew how to study.

On the other hand, it may seem like I am runnning away. But in this profession is it not better to listen to warning signs before I really make a lethal mistake? Did I not give nursing a second shot and still I am having issues? Should I quit nursing now and try a different profession?

I have one profession in mind and every time I think about it or think about quitting nursing I just feel a little bit better.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.

on the other hand, it may seem like i am runnning away. but in this profession is it not better to listen to warning signs before i really make a lethal mistake? did i not give nursing a second shot and still i am having issues? should i quit nursing now and try a different profession?

i have one profession in mind and every time i think about it or think about quitting nursing i just feel a little bit better.

everyone has a hard time as a new grad; i have a few gossipy-bullying nurses where i work now and where i worked in the past. in one case (my former job) the gossipy-bullies caused a transfer to be rescinded. in my current position the gossipy-bullies are preventing me from furthering my training in my department even though i have not made any major errors. some of the popular experienced nurses do not like me so they block any training (they don't want to precept me so that is how they block the training). despite this, i have not allowed any of them to decide if i will become an effective or skilled or talented nurse. it is not up to them, it is up to me.

i know it is hard to work in such an environment, where most do not like you, but if you stand up for yourself then you won't have as many people talking trash about you.... at least not within ear shot! also don't forget, the gossips/bullies are very very miserable and angry people!!! they live very miserable lives at home and bring their misery to work! do not allow them to effect your home existence. get them out of your mind and your heart when you go home. when i leave work, work is left at the doors. i love it!

by the way, go with your gutt instinct when you make your choices! ... i live by my instincts and they never fail me. my gutt instincts tell me that if i stick nursing out, i will someday be the kind of nurse i wish to be! thus, i refuse to quit no matter how bad a shift i have or how mean my co-workers are to me. i do not know why you choose nursing in the first place but whatever it was, hang on to that thought and keep pushing through the garbage! if that does not work, find a mentor!

new grads need nurses who are experienced that he/she can look up too in times like these... i have a few i adore and they have been my rock. my workplaces as a nurse have sucked, but there is no way in god's name i will quit! if i change professions it will be to advance myself further in patient care. everyday i show up to work, i make sure my attitude is good and i am positive about me and my abilities because ultimately, my performance is not based upon the gossip of others, it is based upon my own actions. yes, i know i wrote that the gossip of others have blocked opportunities, and this is true. on the other hand, the gossip of others does not prevent me from seeking out opportunities elsewhere without quitting my current job or profession. gl!

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

If you feel this kind of anxiety, have tried more than one place, have another career in mind, at least for now I would consider quitting. It sounds like you are young and should be enjoying whatever you do. Definitely do not let your license lapse though even if it means begging or borrowing to pay the fee each year.

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Specializes in Psych, LTC, Acute Care.

Don't quit. Keep working on finding the right job. Sounds like your confidence is low and your not it a good place right now.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

Take a vacation or some time off. Then come back and see how that works.

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Specializes in Post Anesthesia.

Were you asleep during your clinical rotations? How could you wake up one day and "discover" nursing isn't for you after spending all that time training to be a nurse. I would suspect that what has really happened is you have had the bad luck to get hired by two crappy places to work. Google "Magnet Status" and see if there are any hospitals that are centers of nursing excellence anywhere near you. The job market is a bit tighter for new grad nurses than it was for me 30 years ago- Maybe there is a good reason the two places that hired you had positions open- no one would ever want to work there! You got through your nursing education- you have to have developed some coping skills that would enable you to move away from your parents for the right opportunity.

I had a horrible time my first job- it lasted several mos and I wasn't safe. I could have never have managed working at a LTC center(either as a new grad or after 25+yrs in practice)- MY GOD, how does anyone keep 30+ patients straight. Next job was a complete turn-around from my first. I''ve spent most of my career working where I work now. If I had to work for the first hospital that hired me I never would have made- I would have given up on nursing too. Do some research, ask an instructor that you had a good relationship with, talk to a few classmates. There has to be a decent job out there somewhere.

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Specializes in Oncology, Med-Surg, Nursery.

Well here is my take.....

I think most of your anxiety and doubt is coming from the fact that you haven't had good experiences with your job. Believe me, finding the right job can make/break you.

Like you, I also took a job in a city pretty far from home. I was 22 when I graduated, single, and I also wanted to start over fresh and get away from home while I transitioned into adulthood. Now while my distance from home was only 1 1/2 hours, and I only stayed in the city for the days I worked, I know how isolated I felt when I would sit and think about what my friends were doing back home. As I drove to work, I would think of how much I was missing out. So that part does start to wear on you if you weren't truly ready for it. To add to that, both of my Grandmothers were seriously ill and dying, and the place I worked was hideous! Having all of that already on my plate, I can absolutely tell you that anything negative from work just about did me in. It was almost like when work would be difficult I couldn't handle that one more thing on my plate. I ended up staying there for 9 months before I quit and found a job closer to my hometown. I also had a boyfriend in the city I had worked in and our relationship ended when I moved back home as well. When I say I changed it all up, I really mean I changed it all up!

My second job was so much better. Before, I also had thoughts about never getting things together and never doing a good job. My second job and those co-workers showed me that I am human just like everyone else. We make mistakes! One of the nurses that oriented me told me that we all make mistakes, but as long as you are honest about said mistake and take responsibility then that is what is important! You'd be shocked how many don't do that! Or they make a mistake and don't feel the least bit sorry for doing so. You can beat yourself up all day over the errors, but the fact remains that it could happen to anyone. Even the best nurses! Just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you are a failure. It just makes you human.

As for quitting or not - well only YOU can truly make that decision. I know in my heart there is no other job for me out there. Sometimes it is the hardest thing I can do to get through a shift. Just this past week we had an emotionally draining event happen at work and I have cried about it, I have asked why a zillion times, and I have been drained. However, I know in my heart there is no other profession out there for me. I would think hard on it and ask yourself questions. Is there more good than bad? Could you picture yourself doing anything else? If you were told tomorrow you could never care for another patient again, how would you feel? Those are questions only you can answer.

I wish you the best of luck. If you truly want to do this, then I hate to see you quit. I do agree with maybe taking some time off. We could all use a break every now and then to regroup. Also, maybe a job change would help. Perhaps the LTC isn't working for you and if you found another job it would make all the difference. If you know this is the field for you then I do urge you to seek out other solutions besides quitting. I'd hate for you to wake up one day down the road and regret that decision.

Good luck!! :)

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Good Lord. If we all left nursing every time a POA got mad or we made a med error we'd have no nurses.

Hang in there. You are a good, conscientious nurse. Quit being so hard on yourself!

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Specializes in Ortho, Case Management, blabla.
Good Lord. If we all left nursing every time a POA got mad or we made a med error we'd have no nurses.

No kidding. You're just going through the right of passage. Don't worry, it gets better. Stick around for a while.

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Specializes in Cardiac, stroke, telemetry,Med-surgical.

Dear all, it is hard to express the gratitude I felt reading your posts. Thank you all for wise and kind words of support for First year New nurses who eat themselves faster than "others."

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, LTC.

It will get better, honest. Give it one year before deciding to bail. If all the nurses who struggled the first year quit, there would be no nurses. Hang in there! :twocents:

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Specializes in 1.

Awww! I almost cried reading your post! *Hugs* Its alright, I am a new graduate nurse myself and I was planning to move any where away from my family and friends to start my career. I cannot imagine how hard it would be but after reading your thread, I got an idea of how it would be. I am anxious, nervous, about what the future holds. I am also very hard on my self when I make a mistake. My advices to you is to hang in there, make new friends who can be your support system, take the mistakes as learning experiences and try to think positive. I hope it will be better for you. It is very difficult but with time it will be better. My teacher once told me you have to walk into the job place with confidence even if you are scared crapless. She said that the "old eats their youngs" in nursing and you have to show them that you cannot be pushed over, that you are competent, confidence, and know what you are doing. Maybe try extra programs that will train you more to build your confidence. Best of luck. :redpinkhe

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