How do you focus when you have personal issues??

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 22, 2007

Been there and done that. Actually I was grateful for school when I was leaving my spouse this last year. It gave me some focus away from myself and him. I can't say it was easy or how I did it, but it was nice to have some concrete accomplishments during this time.

Trauma Columnist · Jun 23, 2007

I went thru grad school while working full-time with a very troubled son living at home. Like Tweety, I found work a relief. Plus, working in the ER, I didn't have time to focus on my problems...sorry for your problems and the increased stress its causing you.

*Blessed2BaNRS* · Jun 23, 2007

Hi wannabe,

I too went thru some tough times during classes last year. I was working full time while going to school full time, and at my job, I was witnessing a teacher and 2 assistants abusing our little special ed students, and had to deal with reporting them and going thru the days while the school district and CPS did nothing, then having them retaliating against me. Two months later, I ended up resigning since nothing was done and they were still harming the children. Right after I resigned, I found out that I had basal cell carcinoma on my nose right under my eye that I had to surgery on. All this came about a month before my finals last spring! It was tough and I ended up dropping from A's to a B in A&P I, but I think that if I hadn't had school to focus on, things might have been a lot worse. Sometimes it helps to be so busy and have something difficult to focus on, to help the personal problems not be so "bad," if that makes sense.

Good luck in whatever you are going thru, and know that school will still be there if you need to drop classes and work on your personal life. :icon_hug: ~

coolpeach · Jun 23, 2007

I have dealt with martial issues, a troubled teen, and some health problems while working toward my degree. At times it was really tough, and I felt really overwhelmed. Other times like the others I felt grateful to have something to run to, and get my mind off everything else.

The main thing is to give yourself premission to go to school, make it a priority just like work. Plan a schedule with your classes, and study time, and stick to it. If others try to break into that time unless it is a REAL EMERGENCY you say NO I will get with you at such and such time. If you need to unplug your phones, turn off your cell phone, and play like your not at home while studying. After all if you were at work you would not be available, and you are really working. In addition, break the studying into parts so you feel you have accomplished something, and play some classical music while you study to help you unwind. When things were really crazy I also hole punched index cards, and put them on rings to take with me. I studied while waiting at Dr's office, sitting at baseball games, and waiting in traffic. At times I also used a digital voice recorder to record the lectures, and played it back while driving, or laying down to sleep at night. Every little bit helps.

stpauligirl · Jun 23, 2007

How do the rest of you focus on school and studying if you are dealing with personal crap?? I'm dealing with some marital issues right now and am having such a hard time trying to put things aside and focus on my studying. Any advice???

Keep reminding yourself that going to school is your ticket out of that mess and hopefully this will give you the strength to prioritize and put everything else out of your mind while studying. Create an environment where you are not exposed to any drama...leave if you have to and study somewhere other than home. Maybe also seek a therapist to help you deal with your issues. Remember school has to be your number ONE priority right now!

DaughterofRuth · Jun 26, 2007

I became separated 1/2 way through Spring semester this year. Unlike the others who have responded, I decided to withdraw from classes. While I would have managed to do well in Soc, I just knew I wouldn't be able to focus enough to pull out the A I needed in AP1. I was afraid I would regret the decision but I haven't yet. I needed that time to be able to focus on my own grief and help our 11yo DD do the same. Now that we're on our own and life has settled a bit, I'm ready to go back to school this Fall.

What's important is that you do what is right for YOU! Folks here will support you either way :)

rnmomtobe2010 · Jun 26, 2007

Been there done that. I had a small child and an abusive husband. I lost my financial aid and everything. I thought my world was over. I had to leave him alone. No matter what my feelings for him where, I had to look at my future. All I kept thinking about was my son. When we seperated, I was sick. I lost 40 pounds in a month. But I picked myself up,dusted myself off and moved on. I moved out of the state and another school awarded me aid. Do what you think is best. If putting school on hold while you sort things out, then do so. Good Luck and don't give up completely!!!

LMRN10 · Jun 26, 2007

How do the rest of you focus on school and studying if you are dealing with personal crap?? I'm dealing with some marital issues right now and am having such a hard time trying to put things aside and focus on my studying. Any advice???

I know exactly what you are going through. In my second semester of school (Fall of 2004), my husband and I had some issues and we split for about 3 months...I was out of school for at least a week because I was so emotional. It was the worst thing...I could not focus...didn't want to focus, nothing. But I finally said you know what, I need to do this for me. I need to focus on MY future - this is important. I finished the semester and passed my classes. Had I not let him affect me so much, I probably would have done better. There is no easy fix to being able to focus on your studies when having personal issues...it is a decision you need to make for yourself.

Best of luck to you and I definitely hope everything works out for you and your husband. I'm sorry you have hit a rough patch...

RNBSNGRADUATE · Jun 26, 2007

Hi Wannabe!

Surely some get tired of hearing/reading it--but I'm a HUGE advocate of finding what works best for you....

Are you a religious or spiritual (NOT the same) person? Do you do any kind of meditation?? What do you do to relax? Bubble baths? A good book? Special snack/treat?

I would suggest surrounding yourself by a support network whom you can trust and feel comfortable with ...to keep you encouraged, uplifted, and motivated:)

BEST of luck to you:)

stpauligirl · Jun 27, 2007

Hi Wannabe!

Surely some get tired of hearing/reading it--but I'm a HUGE advocate of finding what works best for you....
Are you a religious or spiritual (NOT the same) person? Do you do any kind of meditation?? What do you do to relax? Bubble baths? A good book? Special snack/treat?
I would suggest surrounding yourself by a support network whom you can trust and feel comfortable with ...to keep you encouraged, uplifted, and motivated:)
BEST of luck to you:)

This is GREAT advice!

caliotter3 · Jun 27, 2007

If you were to look at my transcripts, you would be able to see a mirror image of the turmoil going on in my life throughout the time I was in nrsg school. I plugged away at it as long as I could. The final straw was being downsized from my FT job and losing my home while at the time being very, very sick. This was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I never was able to go back and finish. When the topic of my career and education comes up during job interviews, which it invariably does, I can never give a convincing vindication of myself. So I just say what happened, leaving most of it out, and go on from there. That's all I can do. If the interviewer is looking for Little Ms. Perfect, then too bad. However, I do try to say as little as possible about my problems.

You do have to keep in mind that whether or not you prevail over your personal problems or whether they get the better of you, in the end, you still have to move forward with a job, a place to live, etc. No matter what. So don't give up.