How Do You Know When You Need a New Job Rather Than Just Time Off?

Davey Do · May 11, 2022

My thoughts:

Having emotional outbursts and feelings of anhedonia are symptoms of depression or even PTSD, SilverBells.

Having similar symptoms after being stabbed by a client diagnosed with undifferentiated schizophrenia back in '98, I can identify. My solution came through therapy and switching positions.

The best to you in your quest, SilverBells.

macawake, MSN · May 11, 2022

16 hours ago, SilverBells said:

Has anyone been in a position where they were unsure whether they needed to find a new job, rather than just taking time off? How did you make that decision?

Today, I contemplated putting in for some PTO. I'm worn out and it's becoming harder and harder to only have 2 days a week off of work. I need rest as my job is becoming increasingly demanding.

I've noticed lately that I've had more breakdowns at work. Anything and everything is enough to set me off. I can't seem to handle anything that comes my way anymore. I used to be very good at juggling multiple demands but now I just feel like shutting down. I'm asking more and more of coworkers because too much is being asked out of someone who just doesn't have much more to give.

Today, for instance, I was very much needed. However, I was also very much absent. I delegated one admission to the staff development coordinator and made arrangements for the second admit to go to the other unit. I missed both of my scheduled Care Conferences. I took several breaks today and was gone for over an hour this afternoon. I barely answered any call lights. I just did not have anything inside me to give. I may have physically been at work, but mentally I was gone.

This isn't the first day like this recently either, although today was worse than usual. I feel like I need to take a few extra days off at the least. However, I'm also seriously considering looking at other positions because I'm physically and mentally worn out from this one. I don't want to jump the gun, though, if all I really need is time to bounce back.

Any thoughts?

Okay, I’ll bite. This might sound like an unkind reply to your question but it’s not intended as such. My thoughts are that if I ever found myself in a situation where I felt the need to start dozens of threads regarding workplace drama, conflicts, stressors and problems; I would know for absolute darn certain that my job wasn’t for me.

I work to live, I don’t live to work. That said, seeing as the time spent at work amounts to a significant chunk of my life, I have an expectation that my work doesn’t make me miserable or take so much energy from me that I have none left to enjoy and nourish the things that matter in life outside work. I’ve been a member here for almost ten years and I have not once had a problem at work that was big enough to start posting about. My place of work isn’t perfect, but it’s a pretty good fit for me. I suspect that you need to find a job that’s a better fit for you.

Best wishes whatever your choice regarding your career ends up being.

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · May 12, 2022

As a reader who has followed your career vicariously for awhile now I'd say your time to leave that job was a long time ago. Why it's taken so long for you to finally break is beyond me. You've been stronger than most would be in toughing out a job you've grown to really, really dislike for this long.

Frankly the writing was on the wall when you started complaining about the ridiculously long hours you were putting in quite a while back. The eventual burnout was pretty much inevitable. As your employer has become used to getting so much of your time devoted to essentially unpaid work since you are salaried I doubt you'd be able to dial it back with this employer without causing even more drama.

Best solution in my opinion is to finally give up on the insanity you certainly have contributed to yourself and find another job. Then don't do that to yourself again. Set boundaries and insist on a healthy work/life balance from the beginning and for God's sake stick to it.

allnurses Guide · May 12, 2022

I agree with both Davey Do and makawake . While my job may be frustrating at times I don't feel the need to post about work problems for two reasons. One nursing is a small world and even when we try to stay anonymous an astute employer can often recognize descriptions of situations and become aware of your identity and discontent. Nothing raises an employers ire more than realizing that an employee was venting on the World Wide Web. Second like makawake my work is not my life. It is a means to providing the life I want to live. I do a fair amount of overtime but only when I want to and when not at work like today I work on several projects that bring me joy. I walk my dogs, spend time in my greenhouse and garden Do some cooking and meal planning to have healthy energizing meals for work. Planning a trip with my son and so on and every two week I get a full body Thai massage.

I know only too well about getting stuck in a rut. In 2020 at the start of the Covid disaster I was tired, aggravated and angry. I had scheduled a month off to travel prior to Covid hitting and while travel was out of the picture I took a month off, slept in, ate healthy meals, cleared out the green house and more. At the end of the month I returned to work refreshed and renewed.

You have posted many times about the frustrations you face at work and have been advised to look for another job. Still it is very hard to visualize solutions when you are stuck in the problem. So take some time. Look at options. You are a Master's prepared RN and the sky is the limit. If you're not sure of your next direction there are consultants or life coaches who can help you decide where to go from here. Life is short and while I don't like to say people deserve happiness they do owe it to themselves to look for it and live a life by design to get where you want to be.

Hppy

SilverBells, BSN · May 14, 2022

As selfish as it sounds, I took a week off of work. Actually I have a total of 9 days away with the weekends included. 2 of those days will be at a conference, but I'm also hoping to just have some time to rest. Maybe look to see what else is out there, job wise. I don't think my workplace was able to find a replacement for me, so the other manager might be on her own. However, perhaps this will be enough of a break to allow myself to rest, recover, reset priorities and come back as a stronger, more effective manager, coworker, and nurse.

SilverBells, BSN · May 14, 2022

On 5/11/2022 at 12:19 PM, macawake said:

Okay, I’ll bite. This might sound like an unkind reply to your question but it’s not intended as such. My thoughts are that if I ever found myself in a situation where I felt the need to start dozens of threads regarding workplace drama, conflicts, stressors and problems; I would know for absolute darn certain that my job wasn’t for me.

LOL, point taken. You may not have intended to be funny with this remark, but it gave me a laugh anyway ??

MarkMyWords · May 14, 2022

You answered your own question. Sounds like you need another job now. Unless you think you will function much better very soon You might even be fired. What other departments do you like?

vintagegal, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · May 14, 2022

Silver bells I’ve been in camp “quit” since first reading your posts.
You know what you have to do, it’s a big scary world out there but you can’t stay where you are. The road your on is the quickest way to burn out. Good luck in your journey

No Stars In My Eyes · May 14, 2022

Just get a job somewhere, anywhere, just to get out away from what you're going through. Your body and mind are screaming at you. LISTEN!!

You don't have to find the 'perfect' job, or the 'dream' job. Dial down and find something where you don't have to carry that kind of weight around all the time. Then once you have come down off the ceiling, see what you can find for work that doesn't shred your confidence and abilities.

kp2016 · May 15, 2022

Having had a few… challenging… work environments over the years I found I coped with it for years until the day I just didn’t. Strangely it was often a relatively minor thing in comparison to the endless other crap that was normally the final straw.

With the benefit of hindsight and some very support friends to talk it out with I now see how incredibly bad these work experiences were. Young me considered it almost a badge of honor that I could survive and thrive in incredibly stressful, hostile, understaffed units. Old me sees that the staff who said “heck no” threw their ID badges on the mangers desk and walk out were the role models I should have been emulating.

It’s possibly that on some level you’r in denial about how bad this situation has gotten. I suggest you go into your profile (from your laptop is easiest) and review the last year or so of your own posts. I think once you review all of those in 1 session you may have a clearer view of your own situation.

Best of luck!

AvaRN_ICU, BSN · May 17, 2022

You are way past needing a new job. It is hard to make the change but once you do, you will be happier.
I worked on a very busy cardiac unit with 1:6 ratios for the last three years. Loved it at first but after years, I realized I had much less patience than I used to, I was over worked, I was annoyed by everything and I was becoming negative. I realized it was time to move on. The only reason I stayed so long was my amazing coworkers! Now I am in the ICU in the same hospital and have much more job satisfaction.
I recommend you take a few days off to give yourself a small respite and take that time to think about what you would enjoy doing. Maybe a move to a different type of unit inside the same hospital, or a new hospital altogether. Or maybe even a different setting ex: hospice. Think about what you do not like about your current job and make sure you will change that in your next one. (Ex: I was over having 6 pts with high turnover, I.e. soo many discharges and admits in a day, and seeing the same types of pts day after day, I wanted to learn more. The ICU has given me 1-2 pts daily and I have seen more in less than one year than I have in my entire nursing career, plus we have way better staffing).
Good luck, I hope you find what your looking for!!