How do you deal with.....

[cory'swife89]

I want to be an ER nurse. I'm so worried about freezing up when something serious happens. I worried that a mother will lose (or is afraid to lose) her child and I will break down with her and not be able to perform my duties.

I had to go to a CPS hearing a long time ago with my uncle to win custody back of his kids (his ex was on drugs wanted the kids back so she called CPS...long story short the system failed those kids but in the end my cousins where back where they belonged with their dad) and we saw a mom there (relinquishing her rights) and the dad there in handcuffs (losing his rights ) because he raped his daughter . It was awhile back but I remember she will have to use a bag to potty for the rest of her life. He damaged some of her organs. How can live with those images in my head? How could the nurses handle that?

Now let's say that a guy just abused a woman/child physically or sexually :mad:and he was stabbed. How do you hide your disgust for this person? Let's say is it's a woman that abused her kid. How do you handled that? I know it's unethical to tell them they are the scum of the earth and they deserve a needle to the arm. I just don't know if I can handle these scenarios.

Another question how often are you presented with these scenarios? Am I watching too much TV?

When I think or ER I think of me just saving lives. My friend asked me today was I being realistic with myself? There is alot of bad in the world but does the good outweighs the bad that in the ER?

Thanks

[One2gofst]

You need a level of maturity to seperate your feelings toward a person from your responsibility to provide appropriate care. Only you can judge if you can do it. It's one of those things, you don't have to like it, you just have to do it. That said, you aren't required to do anything beyond provide care.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

As above poster indicated - you learn to separate the things that happen in front of you to the things in your own life. You have to realize that its not about YOU but about the PT and FAMILIES that you are priviledged to care for.

Yes, you do see a lot of horrible things but you also have to realize that this isn't happening to YOU. You are there to provide care.

[shoegalRN, RN]

What helps me is when I get a pt that I know done something disgusting (think a jail inmate), I just treat the patient. I separate my feelings of disgust for that patient (depending on the crime) and I do my job.

The good part of my job is that I get to go home at night. Some don't get that opportunity.

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

A couple of things I learned as a paramedic that I've found apply in the ER as well are: 1) it's not my emergency, and 2) if I'm not calm and collected, I am of no help to anyone. I've also learned that having the training, knowledge, and skills to help people on what is sometimes the worst day of their lives is a really awesome thing.

[PAERRN20]

To be a good nurse, you have to look past the rapists, terrible parents, and otherwise questionable people you WILL run into. There is no question as to IF you will run into them, but when, because they do exist and need medical care.

I take care of many prisoners, drug abusers, criminals, etc. I never worried about my emotions because I am there to provide a care and if I let my emotions get too involved then I am unable to provide that needed care. You walk a fine line between being a caring nurse and and maintaing a distance and boundaries with the patient. I'm not saying to be completely a cold emotional nurse, but you can't let everything get to you or you won't be an ER nurse for long.

Perhaps a different would be a good place to start to make sure you are able to keep your emotions in check. Good luck.

[cory'swife89]

Thank You for the responses! I was naive to think that a ER would be a fun place. I have alot to consider it. The last 4 years all I could think about was working in the ER. I still want to that's my dream job! Idk why but that's the only place I can see myself. For some reason I want to work the late night shift. That's why I decided to go for my BSN. I hope I can learn to keep my emotions in check. I've been working on it. I wear my emotions on my sleeves!

[springRN]

I think that you could have asked your questions and got your point across without sharing the graphic details.

[JenniferSews]

You can't even get through nursing school without being subjected to upsetting things. I did my psych rotation in the county psych unit and am scarred for life. Some of my fellow classmates did OB/GYN at a hospital who treats inmates and it was an equally negative experience. People sometimes do really horrible things to each other, and it's worse when they are related. I ended up in LTC but the reality is even there I could run into people who were really horrible to children, or women, or just plain mean and hateful to the people who now care for them every day. It's your job to care for them regardless of their actions. You may not like it, but if you want to be a nurse you have to accept that it may sometimes be your responsibility. You need to find a way to be empathetic to a person's illness no matter who they are or what they've been/done/said. But it is possible.

[edrnbailey]

As a new nurse you will learn to separate yourself from "the bad things" we see in our profession. Yes it can be emotionally draining, and a stressful environment. The ED is the front line for most patients. That being said, it can also be the most rewarding place in the entire hospital to work. I have worked in large trauma centers and in small community ED's. There is littel difference in the nature of people. As a nurse it is not your job to place judgement on the patients. It is your job to care for them, all of them. The legal system will deal with any criminal charges and what punishment is delivered. That's their job. If the patient is the victim proper care and documentation is the best help you can provide. If the patient is the "alleged" defendent, the same care and documentation could be all the victim has. But remember every one is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Stress management and having a strong support system is essential to nursing and especially ED nursing. Having someone to discuss concerns with or just vent to does a lot to help with the emotions of what we see as nurses. Whether of not you work in the ED every new nurse needs a mentor. A nurse that they can talk to and discuss not only the clinical aspects of nursing but also the emotional ones. Find a nurse where ever you end up working that is experienced and follow his/her lead. You will be surprised at how much you can learn.

The real issue is there are cruel, evil, uncaring people in this world. As nurses we care for them the same as we would anyone else. That is part of being a nurse. Providing care to patients regardless of circumstances. It is not unique to the ED. It is just part of being a nurse.

[VICEDRN, BSN, RN]

Who said the ER wouldn't be fun also? It will be. And you will be a part of saving lives and you will tear up with someone when they lose a family member...and who said that would suck? because it doesn't! the important thing is to remember that you still need to carry out your duties even when you are sad.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

A couple of things I learned as a paramedic that I've found apply in the ER as well are: 1) it's not my emergency, and 2) if I'm not calm and collected, I am of no help to anyone. I've also learned that having the training, knowledge, and skills to help people on what is sometimes the worst day of their lives is a really awesome thing.

I am with you. I was an EMT for 18 years, and learned to do that early on as well. It was how I survived. The only drawback was that I was afraid I was becoming too detached.