Greetings everyone! First, I just want to thank this site for all the good that it does. I've finally joined but for quite a while now, I've been enjoying the posts and discussions on this site. I wish I knew about this site earlier because it could have helped me out tremendously in nursing school.
Well, I'm a brand new nurse as the name says. I recently got a job in a very busy med-surg unit. It's been scary and exciting and fun---just a mixed ball of emotions! I'm learning tons and I've begun taking on more and more patients. I've been set up with some wonderful preceptors and supervisors. I also like most of my new hire cohorts (for the most part).
While having this opportunity has been quite a blessing, not everything is great. I've run into a handful of nurses and aides that have really bad attitudes or just walk around all day like they hate their jobs. I greet everyone and try to be conversational but some of them just seem to be very cliquey or hate their lives. Some have been the opposite and introduce themselves and say something like, "If there's any way I can help you, don't hesitate to ask." I really appreciate those nurses. I'm sure this situation doesn't just exist in nursing, but this is my first real job and I've never encountered so many people in a place of work that seem like they hate being where they are. Some of them have been in the unit for years and what I don't understand is if they are unhappy, why stay and be stressed out or be jaded?
I guess my question is not necessarily how to deal with Negative Nancys. The easy answer is to befriend the ones that aren't. How do I avoid becoming the nurse that no one wants? How did you deal with negativity and bad morale in your place of work? Thanks for your help!
I often wonder if the "negitive nancies" are just miserable people. They would most likely never be happy at any job or in any situation. Some people seem to choose unhappiness and they spread it around them. Last semester I struggled with a clinical group that was composed of several negitive individuals. As the semester wore on more and more of the group became negitive and the morale of the group suffered. I spent most of my day avoiding most of my clinical group and when I had break time I would spend it alone if the group morale was bad during that day. What I never understood was the constant complaining about being in school. We are all blessed to have such a wonderful oppertunity, and yes their are sacrifices to be made, but any accomplishment requries sacrifice. I quess my advice is to avoid the negitive energy when you can and when around these types of people remind yourself of your blessing and try to be remain in good spirits around them.
if i may: to all the "Positive Patti's" out there bless your hearts as the world needs balance ot make it go round right?
take your worst most busiest day then mulitply it here and there by 10,20,30 some odd years and thats a long time of bustin' butt, so maybe people complain cuzz they're tired, overworked, or l-a-z-y. maybe they let it out so they dont go home and perseverate on why there are so many positivie people around the workplace cuzz they r really annoying. Im kidding!
to the newbies---yeah people 'like that' are everywhere but i can tell you from my experience, there are an inordinate amount of negative nancy's aka complainers in hospital nursing just some units/cultures/hospitals have more than others. again just my 2 cents. dont judge just help out when needed. if complaining bothers you, tune it out or go busy yourself. some times people need to vent. this job can make your hard. an beleive you me, your non nursing freinds have no idea......:reef:
I dealt with negativity badly. I became surly myself with some people, with others I was shy and felt so put down. I let their ugly behavior cause me to believe I was no good or little good. I didn't understand that they were just miserable with their own lives and that their ugly behavior and outlook had nothing whatsoever to do with me.
Since I finally gained that understanding, I try to avoid negative nellies and neds like the plague. It doesn't really work, though; can't always avoid them, still feel dumped on by them, stressed out by their complaining.
I guess I don't have any good advice to give you. But I do wish you all the best.
Some of the things we see in Nursing are really painful. Kind of like cops' experiences and social workers who have to pull kids away from their family home and stick them in foster care. Even if there's no way they could or should be left with their parents, kids don't understand that and the being separated from their parents is just pure torture.
Nursing can for sure make you hard. It hurts to see suffering and violence. Sometimes the violent suffer, too, like from drug addiction &/or mental illness. That hurts to see, too. Not being able to fix everything hurts, too. Or the ugly behavior we have to endure from patients and their family members, from doctors, etc. is just so destructive. Let's not forget unfair supervisors. Or we and others have troubles at home. Life is not easy. Problems aren't always resolved in 30 minutes like on TV.
Actually, here's some advice - pray for these people. You can even let them know "I pray for you every day. to be blessed, to have beautiful experiences, to love and be loved, whatever". It's not easy but remember - Jesus said that the sick need a physician, not the well person. Your prayers are His medicine.
Someone earlier here suggested that you sort of militantly throw kindness and niceness their way. I can tell you that that did not work for me. The tide of negativity was too big. I learned to pray for them to be blessed.
You can perhaps say to them something like, "You seem so unhappy today. Is there anything I can do to help you?" Some might get angry or take offense, others might kind of open up to you and share that they can't pay their rent, the kids are sick, Mom became an invalid and her 24/7 care needs fall on ... (your coworker), or Heaven only knows what else could be wrong. Maybe the boyfriend is drinking and belting her around.
Should she bring this stuff to work? Of course not. But sometimes people can't help it. Other times, they've never had to restrict their misery to off duty hours and need to learn this skill. At any rate, start praying for your negative affiliates and see if some good doesn't come out of it. do tread cautiously, lest the snakes turn on to YOU. Do NOT expect overnight cures.
In my EMS, about 90%+ of the medics are male, and we have our "Negative Nancys" or "Downer Di***" (er, scratch that thought ) as well.
We have burn out in this field with the BS calls being the greatest cause of it. We have a lot of those frequent fliers who use us a quick taxi trip to the ED for a Dilaudid fix --- while we hear a farther-away ambulance get dispatched to a cardiac arrest that was well within our beat. Breaks my heart, and my partner's. We got into EMS to help those in need, just like nurses.
For that situation, I can't blame a medic for being negative about another genuine frequent flier abusing the system.
But, for the medic that is negative *all* the time, there is no excuse for that behaviour. Luckily, my permanent partner is great! But, we all have to work with someone else every once in awhile (sick days, vacation, etc.)
If partnered with one who begins to gripe constantly about a lil' old lady with a minor complaint, I try to respectfully show the medic her side of the story. And, it usually works... as long as I don't bruise my partner's ego --- sorry guys, but you men can bruise easily sometimes, lol! Don't believe me? Hang around our shift when the Dallas Cowboys lose yet another game, and you'll see... lol!
Usually, if you can casually show someone the same situation but let them see how that chest pain, vomiting, or new "weird feeling in the hands" can be alarming to someone who is not well-versed in the medical field, it might get them to see the patient's perspective. This works particularly well if you can get the medic to think of his mother or sister as the patient in this case. I can't expect my patients to know the difference between cardiac chest pain and chest wall pain, and I don't make that judgement either. I take them to the hospital and render the appropriate treatments based on their history, S&S, and presentation. That's what we do.
For the frequent fliers, usually a reminder to my partner that we can't do a damned thing about it gets a sigh and the negative comments usually stop. No sense griping about what we can't fix. We know we're powerless and have to transport the drug seeker, even if a "real patient" suffers because another farther away unit has to respond.
IMHO, it just seems that as one gets more experienced in their field, they tend to build up that thick brick wall between them and their patient. Sometimes, a peephole had to be drilled into the wall so the nurse or medic can see the patient's side of the experience. Don't need blast in a door, just drill a peephole... bruising one's pride gets them defensive and not listening.
a few times, i have good-naturedly asked, 'how many suck pills did you take today?', followed by a quick noogie to their head.
some have growled at me, some have cracked a smile.
i guess my point, is that you can playfully call them out on it, but bottom line is, you are in control of how you respond to your immediate environment.
remain professional, civil, and detached from those who are miserable.
I typically am pleasant to negative Nancies but try to avoid them like the plague. It's too easy to get sucked into their lonely world and it makes for a long night to hear constant whining. There are a few I work with currently and when they go into a rant I politely make an excuse and walk away without commenting on their misery.
I did ask a former co-worker in front of everyone why she kept working since she was so clearly miserable and reminded everyone she came into contact with everyday. Well, I didn't receive an answer but she didn't speak to me for a year before I quit. Oh darn but that felt so good.
My suggestion is that in a quiet time, you approach one of the "Negative Nancy's" and politely, in a friendly concerned manner, tell them you get the feeling they don't like working there. You may find that they want to vent and may even have a legitimate concern. They may also not realize how they come across to others. As long as you approach them trying to be a friend you may gain their respect and appreciation.
Specializes in Cardiology, Research, Family Practice.
Dear OP,
This is a not a recent problem, I felt the same way when I was a new nurse 10 years ago, and I still see the same issues.
In my experience, when dealing with negativity, it is best to distance yourself. Seek out and befriend positivity. And "be the change you wish to see in others."
I also do not recommend the direct approach of talking to "Nancy" about her attitude and how it affects you. That is who she is, and "talking" to her will not change that fact. Your positive attitude and actions may influence her over time, or they may not. Consider telling your NM, who is in the appropriate position to confront staff or take other action.
If your unit is dominated by negative attitudes - get out as soon as you can! They will bring you down. Look for an environment of growth, learning, and nurturing, they're out there I promise!
I hear ya. I'm just starting my last semester in nursing school and one of the LPN's I work with in the ER is horrible about it. She's always making snide remarks like "Oh once you graduate, you'll have to get a real job" (I work in registration) and "Once you graduate you'll be on the night shift and you'll hate it" and on and on. I just smile and tell her I already have a real job and that I won't mind working nights one bit.
The funny thing is she's been an LPN for years, is going to school for her RN but just finishing her pre-req's. Idk if she's jealous or what but I make a point to not talk about school at work so I don't know why she singles me out. Anyway, I just smile and let her ramble on and then forget everything she says. It's her issue, not mine!
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
When I am confronted with Negative Nancys, I usually start singing "Today was a Good Day" by Ice Cube and then start break dancing. Never fails to change the mood.
) as well. 
itsmejuli
2,188 Posts
Disappointing Dick :)