How to deal with Negative Nancys?!

Miller86 · Dec 24, 2010

Oh there is a few like the ones your describing at my work as well but I just kill them with kindness and if it doesn't slide then I just don't take it personal. You haven't done anything to them so just try your best and continue being conversational and friendly.

I can't exactly answer your last question as I'm a newbie too but I do have days where I feel I am avoiding a certain someone because they just bring down my entire happy-go-go mood. Why can't we all just get along..

NewTexasRN · Dec 24, 2010

This is a tough one to answer because I also have co-workers who spend a good amount of time whining about how they hate their jobs. I, too complain sometimes and when I catch myself doing it, I just thank God for all He has done for me and where He has brought me from in my life. (I was one of the new grads who couldn't find a job!).

Sometimes I hear the negativity so much that it becomes contagious and soon I find myself complaining about small things that don't even matter. I try to arrive to work 30 mins before my shift and instead of running into the hospital, I stay and pray in my car. I pray for all the patients, my friends, familly, co-workers etc. I pray that God will give us all a positive attitude and that we can take care of our patients to best of our abilities.

I think that you have to kill your co-workers with kindness and wake up every day realizing that the fact that you even have a job is a blessing. Sometimes you just have to walk away when you hear your co-workers negativity. Also, sometimes I'll just say, "If you hate your job so much, then why don't you just leave?" Sometimes it stops them right dead in their tracks. You can't always change other people's attitude, but you have control over yourself.

Lastly, just remember that there is no such thing as the perfect job. So there will always be something that you dislike, but you have to look at the bigger picture.

Good Luck!

Davey Do · Dec 24, 2010

BrandNewbie Nurse:

Negativity can be contagious and set the mood for an environment. Your endeavor to not become "one of them" is admirable.

It's always fun to get on with the In Crowd and belittle those who Just Don't Get It. But that type of method only works with Birds of a Feather. And it's silly, sophmoric, and counterproductive. The reason I bring it up is because it's not the Road Less Travelled. And to add one more metaphor, I'm sure you, BrandNewNurse, want to take the High Road.

Setting the tone for an environment is truly our responsibility. We can't control another's behavior, but we can control how we choose to deal with it. As Miller86 said, we can kill them with kindness. Unfortunately, I'm not one to be sugar-coated. Being sugar-coated is not bad, it's just not what I feel comfortable with. I'm not an Optimist. As Marty Seligman said in his book, Learned Optimism: If you want a positive outlook, talk to an Optimist. If you want a realistic outlook, talk to a Pessimist.

I worked in a Crisis Stabilization Unit some years back and noted a general negative attitude of the Nurses. Initially, I disliked it and shunned the Negative Nancies. Then I remembered a quote from Emotions Anonymous: "My happiness does not depend on what others do or say. My happiness is a result of being at peace with myself."

So, I went to work on myself. I identified a problem and went to work on it.

In this particular scenerio, I became proactive. I noticed that the negative attitude was affecting the Patients. The Patients were primarily composed of those with Psychiatric and Substance Abuse diagnosis. I instituted a Morning Meeting utilizing the 12 Step Program and the Emotions Anonymous Daily Reading book. The meeting set the tone for the day, which was a positive, hopeful one.

You, BrandNewNusrse, are in the process of dealing with an area of concern. You are currently in the Data Gathering Stage of your Problem-Solving Process. After you've gathered all your data, you merely need to make a decision on the best course to take.

Once again, I admire your quest not to fall into the Pits of Despair and be proactive in resolving this area of concern. The best to you.

Dave

Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN · Dec 24, 2010

I have worked in three different departments in my healthcare system, and there have been people like the ones you describe in every one of them.

But, you know what? My mom works in a bank, my dad was an auto worker, and they have told me about coworkers in those fields as well. There are negative people everywhere! And, sadly, attitudes are contagious.

You have such a refreshing attitude. I hope your spirit isn't dimmed by these people. I advise you to befriend the helpful coworkers, put up with the others, and visit this site...a LOT!

You can do it! And maybe they'll catch your attitude instead!

spreadlove · Dec 24, 2010

Even in nursing school I had to deal with such negative individuals. But on the floor, I was devoted to my patients and blocked out the high school behavior.

Some students were bullies not to mention the female professors. I'm finding more and more women are the one's who show such petty and hateful behavior. Makes me question being a nurse and having to work with a majority of women. I hate to say this as a women but most are emotional, petty, jealous, angry and can hold a grudge FOREVER. I hope more men enter the profession.

Mona77 · Dec 24, 2010

I have met those nurses as well in our hospital, sometimes I am getting the impression their number is increasing.

Nevertheless keep your attitude not to become like them, you will be facing good an bad days, but try to value the good days, try to learn from your faults and take

the patient stories of fast recovery, the thank you´s and the great conversations with you home and gain strength from your experiences.

That's what I do and it helps me to go to work with a smile, and if a "I hate my job" nurse comes along I smile at her/him too and wish a wonderful working day.

Our patients are our working guarantee. Let's treat them like we would wish to be treated and I wouldn't want to be surrounded by nasty, job-hating nurses without the slightest love to their jobs.

Keep thinking positive, I am sure you make it.

greenfiremajick · Dec 24, 2010

Dave- will you pls go into further detail about this: "I instituted a Morning Meeting utilizing the 12 Step Program and the Emotions Anonymous Daily Reading book. The meeting set the tone for the day, which was a positive, hopeful one."??? Thanks!

BrandNewbie Nurse:
Negativity can be contagious and set the mood for an environment. Your endeavor to not become "one of them" is admirable.
It's always fun to get on with the In Crowd and belittle those who Just Don't Get It. But that type of method only works with Birds of a Feather. And it's silly, sophmoric, and counterproductive. The reason I bring it up is because it's not the Road Less Travelled. And to add one more metaphor, I'm sure you, BrandNewNurse, want to take the High Road.
Setting the tone for an environment is truly our responsibility. We can't control another's behavior, but we can control how we choose to deal with it. As Miller86 said, we can kill them with kindness. Unfortunately, I'm not one to be sugar-coated. Being sugar-coated is not bad, it's just not what I feel comfortable with. I'm not an Optimist. As Marty Seligman said in his book, Learned Optimism: If you want a positive outlook, talk to an Optimist. If you want a realistic outlook, talk to a Pessimist.
I worked in a Crisis Stabilization Unit some years back and noted a general negative attitude of the Nurses. Initially, I disliked it and shunned the Negative Nancies. Then I remembered a quote from Emotions Anonymous: "My happiness does not depend on what others do or say. My happiness is a result of being at peace with myself."
So, I went to work on myself. I identified a problem and went to work on it.
In this particular scenerio, I became proactive. I noticed that the negative attitude was affecting the Patients. The Patients were primarily composed of those with Psychiatric and Substance Abuse diagnosis. I instituted a Morning Meeting utilizing the 12 Step Program and the Emotions Anonymous Daily Reading book. The meeting set the tone for the day, which was a positive, hopeful one.
You, BrandNewNusrse, are in the process of dealing with an area of concern. You are currently in the Data Gathering Stage of your Problem-Solving Process. After you've gathered all your data, you merely need to make a decision on the best course to take.
Once again, I admire your quest not to fall into the Pits of Despair and be proactive in resolving this area of concern. The best to you.
Dave

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Dec 24, 2010

I worked with a woman like this. She complained ENDLESSLY about every single thing, how nothing was to her liking, nothing was up to scratch, and went on & on & on. She was a very overweight lady who was on weight watchers, but never lost any weight & who wouldn't change her eating habits or lifestyle. I think this is why she was so grumpy, she wasn't happy with herself or her weight. I think she had just been unhappy for years, being in the same job, as many people don't move on with their lives.

Many people complained about her but management couldn't be bothered doing anything about it. I wasn't there permanently so I didn't care in the end.

I've never, ever understood why people stay in a job they dislike, or hate some parts of it, but won't look for another job. Nobody chains them to the desk, or locks the door so they can't get out. They just can't be bothered looking for another job, they're lazy. They're unhappy wherever they go. Just smile & ignore them, u can't change everyone else just yourself. They probably won't change anyway after a long time in a job they hate. U could try talking to them in a the break room, asking what is wrong, but I find this quite often doesn't work as they become hostile & silent.

Don't worry about it! Just be your normal old self.

Now if they were bullying you, that is completely different.

bigrigcowboy · Dec 24, 2010

I have to ask for future reference: What is the male version of Negative Nancy? [keep it clean if you can] LOL

Blackcat99 · Dec 24, 2010

I remember 2 negative nancy's from a previous job. :mad: They worked night shift and all they did was complain about everthing all night long. It was exhausting just hearing those two. I just did my best to ignore them and to avoid them as much as possible. One of the negative nancy's didn't even have to work. She had a good pension but she returned to work because she said she was "bored being home all day.":eek:. I remember one night especially when they were complaining and complaining for hours about all the work they had to do on night shift. I felt like screaming "If you two would just shut up and do your work you would have already had it all done in 30 minutes."

Tyler77 · Dec 24, 2010

Give Nancy a biiigggggg "HELLO" every time you see her! Say things like, "Wow what a great day the Lord gave us. Now turn that frown upside-down!" What's she going to do? Gossip about you being in a good mood all of the time? Let her! I know it's sexist, but I'll gladly work with a male nurse/tech. any day of the week. No backstabbing, gossiping, detesting others on a daily basis. I think women are conditiones that in order to be cometetive or respected, they have to put down or insult others or situations they don' like.

To all you Nancy's out there:

No one is forcing you to be here. Be thankful you have a job. I have no clue how you made it through nursing school with your attitude, but what's done is done. No, I don't care that you saw one of your co-workers wearing knock-off Uggs. Think of all the people out there that can't afford a pair of shoes. If you don't like a certain protocol in your department, then you need to visit that with your superior. Turning it into a kvetch-fest all day is annoying and grating. I will slather you with kindness until it hurts. I will counter all of your whining with optimsim. No, I will not give you my phone number so you can text me, and I will not "hang out" with you after work. People don't want to "hang out" with you for a reason. I'm sorry that you're having trouble make ends meet being that you're a single mom with kids. You CHOSE to have them with different "men" and I'm not getting involved in your personal affairs. I don't care if your patient is un-cooperative, smells, is annoying, makes rude comments, or rings the call light every second. IT'S YOUR JOB to deal with these things. You were exposed to these things in nursing school. If you didn't like it then, then shame on you for staying in your nursing program.