How to Answer a Patient Who Asks: "Does God Exist?"

S.I.C. · Dec 24, 2020

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2021.

S.I.C. · Dec 24, 2020

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Chronic Care Coordinator · Dec 24, 2020

2 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

I don't believe any religion is bad and I wished I had the capacity to participate. Analyzing everything can be a nuisance.

I do believe that religion is co-opted by bad people who then exploit their followers. I have never heard of religion expounding anything bad, ever. Just men extracting phrases and spinning it to suit their interests.

You are so right! I agree 100%! Have a beautiful and peaceful Christmas and a safe and healthy 2021! Will be praying for my allnurses family too tonight at midnight mass! May the baby Jesus bring Joy Peace and Hope in every heart tonight!
We are supposed to have winds 50 miles an hour! I may just blow in and out of church! LOL!

S.I.C. · Dec 25, 2020

Thank you very much!

This is the happiest day of my life for each year. Because of Jesus Christ, we are Christians and are all united in great love to all humanity. I will stay until after midnight, and all along I will be praying for all nurses in general, and for you, your family, and the midnight mass in particular.

May God protect you from the strong wind and from all other disasters.

May the baby Jesus bring joy and peace in our heart tonight and forever!

Merry Christmas.

MarkMyWords · Dec 25, 2020

Why do you feel you should discuss this with patients? Have you studied this issue? If patients ask because of worry about dying... try to offer polite consolation, if possible. If the patient does not believe in a theistic God then don't bring in the chaplain. Agnostics would not care. The other question is whether heaven or hell exists. (??)

. I know a lot about this but I would not get into a philosophical discussion.

Guest856929 · Dec 25, 2020

29 minutes ago, Mywords1 said:

Why do you feel you should discuss this with patients? Have you studied this issue? If patients ask because of worry about dying... try to offer polite consolation, if possible. If the patient does not believe in a theistic God then don't bring in the chaplain. Agnostics would not care. The other question is whether heaven or hell exists. (??)

. I know a lot about this but I would not get into a philosophical discussion.

Why not?

S.I.C. · Dec 25, 2020

Hi mywords1,

I am happy you have a specialty in nursing ethics and you a lot about heaven and hell. Even if patient care is the focus of all nurses, but sometimes between ourselves as professionals, we can learn from each other..., just for our own sake.

Can you share with me or with even others what you know about heaven and hell?

cynical-RN, BSN has asked you a question...why not...discussing something with your patients if they ask you if God exist? Can you answer him/her so that I can learn from that also?

GrumpyRN, NP · Dec 26, 2020

21 hours ago, S.I.C. said:

cynical-RN, BSN has asked you a question...why not...discussing something with your patients if they ask you if God exist?

Can you please stop this! You have been given multiple answers that it is inappropriate to try to put your ideas onto patients. This is why there are spiritual advisers. Would you really want me to answer someone honestly? Can you imagine how that would go?

Patient; "Nurse, is there a god?" Me; "No, of course not. Gods were a construct developed by primitives to help them explain the world around them and and the idea has been hijacked by people in power to control the poor and weak."

Now, how do you think that would go? Bear in mind, that in the UK I would not get into any trouble for stating that to a patient.

guest1163268 · Dec 26, 2020

2 hours ago, GrumpyRN said:

Can you please stop this! You have been given multiple answers that it is inappropriate to try to put your ideas onto patients. This is why there are spiritual advisers. Would you really want me to answer someone honestly? Can you imagine how that would go?

Patient; "Nurse, is there a god?" Me; "No, of course not. Gods were a construct developed by primitives to help them explain the world around them and and the idea has been hijacked by people in power to control the poor and weak."

Now, how do you think that would go? Bear in mind, that in the UK I would not get into any trouble for stating that to a patient.

Not if you are Victor Meldrew you won't?????

PoodleBreath · Dec 27, 2020

I've never had a patient ask me if G-d exists. I've had patients talk to me about their spiritual beliefs and I have engaged respectfully and non-judgmentally with them because I am always interested in learning new things about how people cope with the best and worst in this world. It's important to understand where the conversation about spirituality is coming from and what that patient is actually wanting to say and know.

I will say that there is a power dynamic between patients and nurses that needs to be acknowledged and we should never cross a line where our own beliefs inform the conversation. I have very strong religious beliefs but am not Christian, which seems to be the default in this conversation.

As a patient I would feel extremely intimidated with a nurse who is so vocal about their beliefs. Your belief system, as expressed in this thread, is very strong, and for me, as a non-Christian religious person, it is overwhelming and uncomfortable. While patients may smile politely when you talk about your beliefs G-d, the reality is that they will have shut you out and you are no longer effective in any capacity as a nurse.

I work in hospice and recognize that while I am empowered as a nurse to address patient's medical needs from a spiritual, holistic approach, I also recognize my own limitations. Our chaplains are an incredible resource as they have training in the very specific existential crises faced by patients who are in a place in their life where they are overwhelmed by spiritual questions.

I am humbled by the existential struggles of my patients. I want to direct them to the person who can truly help them, and I'm not qualified to do that. The holistic approach is based on interdisciplinary collaboration, where we are cognizant of our own strengths and weaknesses and those of our team members. Humility is key. Refer these questions to the person who is most qualified to address them.

Chronic Care Coordinator · Dec 28, 2020

4 hours ago, PoodleBreath said:

I've never had a patient ask me if G-d exists. I've had patients talk to me about their spiritual beliefs and I have engaged respectfully and non-judgmentally with them because I am always interested in learning new things about how people cope with the best and worst in this world. It's important to understand where the conversation about spirituality is coming from and what that patient is actually wanting to say and know.

I will say that there is a power dynamic between patients and nurses that needs to be acknowledged and we should never cross a line where our own beliefs inform the conversation. I have very strong religious beliefs but am not Christian, which seems to be the default in this conversation.

As a patient I would feel extremely intimidated with a nurse who is so vocal about their beliefs. Your belief system, as expressed in this thread, is very strong, and for me, as a non-Christian religious person, it is overwhelming and uncomfortable. While patients may smile politely when you talk about your beliefs G-d, the reality is that they will have shut you out and you are no longer effective in any capacity as a nurse.

I work in hospice and recognize that while I am empowered as a nurse to address patient's medical needs from a spiritual, holistic approach, I also recognize my own limitations. Our chaplains are an incredible resource as they have training in the very specific existential crises faced by patients who are in a place in their life where they are overwhelmed by spiritual questions.

I am humbled by the existential struggles of my patients. I want to direct them to the person who can truly help them, and I'm not qualified to do that. The holistic approach is based on interdisciplinary collaboration, where we are cognizant of our own strengths and weaknesses and those of our team members. Humility is key. Refer these questions to the person who is most qualified to address them.

Very aptly said!

At the end of the day, it is about the patient's need and how we can assist them. It is important to be open and accepting of all beliefs/unbelief and have a level of comfort with a sincere desire to help a patient! Even though, my spiritual belief may be completely alien to the patient, I tread very carefully attempting to understand what they are asking in order to effectively help them.

I remember taking care of a strong willed atheist that I absolutely enjoyed talking to during my home visits. He was proud, stubborn and a fighter! We joked around all the time! I encouraged him to continue fighting for his health but not with his wife(LOL)! As he got weaker and weaker with end stage CHF, he began asking me questions about death and God. I asked him his views and opinion of what he thought would happen in the end and he was unsure. He asked me my beliefs and I briefly told him that I believed that earth was just a brief moment before we went back to the source of Love, we came from! He asked me why I was so patient with him when he was angry, nasty and frustrated.I told him that I saw the person within him that had goodness and focussed on that. I also encouraged him to lean on his wife who was his rock during his hard times. I helped him stay at home, till almost father's day but then had to send him to our hospital as his CHF could no longer be managed at home. The last time I saw him, I had gone to the same hospital with my kids to surprise my husband who was working there with a cake for Father's day( an annual tradition for years!). I knew my patient was there and took him a piece of cake and introduced him to my family.He was weak but happy to see us!

He told me, "I never believed in God but seeing how good you are to all your patients, I feel that there has to be a God! Please pray for me as I am ready to go! I don't want to fight any more!"

I promised to pray for him and left(my heart breaking) knowing I would never see him again. He died a few days later peacefully in the hospital. I found out from his wife who called me and thanked me. I think, I touched him with my actions more than my words. At no time did I push my beliefs on him but met his needs, on his terms till the end! He used to call me his "Angel Nurse" but he was the one who stayed but for a brief moment. I still miss him and pray that his soul is in peace!

TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN · Dec 30, 2020

I live in the bible belt and over the years I've been asked "Are you a christian?" by a patient about 500 million times usually by geriatric patients. I am not a christian, and my beliefs are complicated and not mainstream by any means. In my area if I were to answer honestly, I run the risk of losing trust with my patient as other religions are viewed very negatively where I live as is agnosticism and atheism. When I worked psych I would turn the question around back at the patient and avoid answering it. Working with geriatrics however is different especially LTC where you could be providing care for your patients for years. And when I worked acute care, I didn't have time for long spiritual discussions, so my response generally was to tell them what they wanted to hear. "Why yes I'm a Christian." "Yes I've been saved." Therapeutic lying. The response then is "Oh good, I'm relieved." Maybe it's wrong of me to lie? But I figure my beliefs are irrelavent to their care, and if lying will make them feel better, why not?

Meanwhile, one hospital I worked at, we had a patient admitted for pneumonia one time who brought in books about Wicca to read while she was there and 3/4's of the nursing staff refused to provide care for her because she was a "devil worshiper", only myself and a nurse on dayshift would go into her room. It was really sad, and management just looked the other way.