hostile ex-mother-in law being admitted

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Hello...I really need some informaton regarding the following matter. Five yers ago I left a very hostile relationship after 10 years. There were two children involved and my ex was very hostile and angry. Domestic abuse was an issue. After court proceedings I had full custody of the children. He appealed and I still retained full custody. His family was very angry, deceitful and full of hate. It has now been five years and for the benefit of the children there father and I do get along and attempt to do what is best.. The problem now is my DNS just called to inform me the my ex-mother-in-aw will be admitted to the facilty that I have worked at for 3 years. According to my DNS she has said very negative, nasty things about me. Needless to say I will not be taking care of her. I work the night shift with another RN...We all work together as a team, as this is only a 70 bed facilty.. I am concerned about nursing liabilty issues. Also, this women is so nasty, I have no doubt she would attempt to get me fired. One of the issues I know that she told about was regarding my then 16 year old a suicide attempt over 10 years ago, and a one time DUI I had over 5 years ago that both the judge involved in my custody case was a aware of and also the local nursing board was aware as I told them...I know this is very long..but I am very proud of my nursing professoinalism and my rasing of my children. This is a very small community and this women's slanderous words may in the line of gossip be taken as real, and I worry about my standing as a RN. The DNS has assred me she has spoken with this women and she agrees to no longer gossip.. She also has an issue with one of the RA's working at the facility so there will be no contact with this worker. I really do not know how to handle this. I have no doubt I can be professional but I am concerned about legal issues. And as I do not know what terrible things she did say I feel very uncomfortable..Please advise?

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it's a terrible feeling when someone does this,

(I know, because someone did this to me - going around saying

things that were not true, trying to create me in a negative way)

Be strong.

You know yourself.

Warn people with whom you work so that they won't be surprised if this woman starts up again with her slanderous remarks.

I wish you all the best.

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Best thing you can do is stay away from her. If she tries to impugne your nursing abilities you can honestly counter with "How would she know what kind of nurse I am, I had nothing to do with her care."

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Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.

The best thing to do is to ignore her. I know that this may be impossible but you must try. I doubt that she will stop her hostile behavior toward you. If she does talk to other patients and staff, and the bring it up to you: smile, say you haven't had any contact with her in years, how can she know anything about your nursing knowledge and skills. Then change the subject. Don't give into the temptation of trying to answer her accusations back to another staff member or another patient. You can't and you will be unable to. Those that know you will ignore her. And those that don't, do the best you can when your work with them or care for them.

Woody:balloons:

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Specializes in Tele, Acute.

Just like Tazzi said, stay away from her. This sounds so familiar, my DH's 2nd wife (I was #1) was admitted to my floor several years ago. I totally ignored her, would not even take the pt in the same room with her. At some point, she asked her nurse to send me in there, that she wanted talk to me. I graciously declined. This woman made my life a living hell when she was married to my X. She also drove my kids crazy. Today, my X has #3 and we are all family, vacation together, spend every holiday together with the kids and grandkids.

#2 is never discussed among us but I heard from one of her friends that she is very jealous of the whole situation.

I am glad I did not go in that room, I don't know if it would have been a trick and I'm glad I did not go in.

So, remember, don't fall for anything she says.

Good luck, be yourself.

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Hello...I really need some informaton regarding the following matter. Five yers ago I left a very hostile relationship after 10 years. There were two children involved and my ex was very hostile and angry. Domestic abuse was an issue. After court proceedings I had full custody of the children. He appealed and I still retained full custody. His family was very angry, deceitful and full of hate. It has now been five years and for the benefit of the children there father and I do get along and attempt to do what is best.. The problem now is my DNS just called to inform me the my ex-mother-in-aw will be admitted to the facilty that I have worked at for 3 years. According to my DNS she has said very negative, nasty things about me. Needless to say I will not be taking care of her. I work the night shift with another RN...We all work together as a team, as this is only a 70 bed facilty.. I am concerned about nursing liabilty issues. Also, this women is so nasty, I have no doubt she would attempt to get me fired. One of the issues I know that she told about was regarding my then 16 year old a suicide attempt over 10 years ago, and a one time DUI I had over 5 years ago that both the judge involved in my custody case was a aware of and also the local nursing board was aware as I told them...I know this is very long..but I am very proud of my nursing professoinalism and my rasing of my children. This is a very small community and this women's slanderous words may in the line of gossip be taken as real, and I worry about my standing as a RN. The DNS has assred me she has spoken with this women and she agrees to no longer gossip.. She also has an issue with one of the RA's working at the facility so there will be no contact with this worker. I really do not know how to handle this. I have no doubt I can be professional but I am concerned about legal issues. And as I do not know what terrible things she did say I feel very uncomfortable..Please advise?

I have to agree with the other posts. Stay away from her. Politely ask the other RN if she would mind soley caring for her as to stay away from any appearance of wrong-doing. (If you don't care for her but someone else does, she can't say that you did anything wrong.) If you can steer clear of her on your shift, and you shouldn't have a problem. Any idea as to how long she'll be at your facility?

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Specializes in OB.

I'd suggest putting your concerns and plan of not interacting into a memo to your DNS along with confirmation that the two of you (you and DNS) have discussed potential issues. This way if any question does arise you have documentation that you have taken proper steps to avoid any conflict and it will be more apparent that she is stirring up trouble rather than you causing it.

For example you can start out: Per our conversation on (date) I'd like to confirm that because of personal relationship with "X" I feel it would be in the best interest of both the patient's care and my professional standing that I not participate in the care of "X". Then go on to discuss what plans you have made to assure optimum care for her without your participation.

Hard situation - good luck!

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.

Baglady took the words right out of my mouth. I too have been in this situation with an Office doc who wanted me to become her nurse. I already was handling two other Docs. So the Office Doc went to the board and slandered my reputation, (or tried), the other board members were aware of my ehtics and hard work and pretty much told her too grow up. BUT, I did write a letter to HR that the purported statements have led me to believe DR. so &so may slander my career and I want in writing that I will nver be assigned to work with her. The administration took the lttr to their lawyer and I got what I asked for. She still came around me and tried to hold conversations with the Docs I was working with I'm sure to distract me. Sorry to ramble, but I agree, stay away and cover your butt. Good luck to you!

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Specializes in Triage, MedSurg, MomBaby, Peds, HH.
Baglady took the words right out of my mouth. I too have been in this situation with an Office doc who wanted me to become her nurse. I already was handling two other Docs. So the Office Doc went to the board and slandered my reputation, (or tried), the other board members were aware of my ehtics and hard work and pretty much told her too grow up. BUT, I did write a letter to HR that the purported statements have led me to believe DR. so &so may slander my career and I want in writing that I will nver be assigned to work with her. The administration took the lttr to their lawyer and I got what I asked for. She still came around me and tried to hold conversations with the Docs I was working with I'm sure to distract me. Sorry to ramble, but I agree, stay away and cover your butt. Good luck to you!

Gosh Sharona that dr sounds like a mental case :uhoh21: Smart thinking on your part.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho.

I also wouldnt go near her room. If you have to cover for the other RN for lunch, let the LPN or CNA answer the call light. If for some unknown reason you must go in, and i mean only if she is coding, dont go alone and dont leave anyone in there with her alone. At least stand outside the door so more than one person can hear what is being said. Cover yourself.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

It's good that have support of management. Ignore her, but if continued gossip and negativity comes from her, ask your DNS to speak with her again.

Walk with your head held high and don't allow her to bring you down.

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.
Gosh Sharona that dr sounds like a mental case :uhoh21: Smart thinking on your part.

She was a mean woman, Occupational health Doctor. It just wasn't my cup of tea. The office rec'vd a call that 6 incoming w/chemical inhalation, airway probs. My doc and I started right in (occ med runing in circles)anyway I was WCing a guy to xray with 02 on and she told me "take that oxygen off right now", i told her to discuss my doc's order with the doc and walked right by her. I stayed professional, but wanted to write her up.......heehee won't go there!

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