Hernia Repair Patient Dignity

Updated:   Published

Since my husband just had hernia surgery, I have been looking into patient dignity.   He went to a male Dr for the surgery.  When he went into the ACC it was all females.   Since we are in Covid restrictions still, I couldn’t go in with him.  He was very uncomfortable with all the females and thought the attitude of I’ve seen thousands of memberes was totally Unprofessional. He felt that while they did their “jobs” they didn’t care how uncomfortable they made him.  Believe it or not males do not want to expose themselves to you.  Just because some of you don’t care who sees what, others do.  You are so correct about the double standards that females wouldn’t put up with that but males have to.  Ladies,  think about how off putting you are to your male pts when you make those comments.  Males also tend to hide their emotions. But, you bet your butt if I was allowed in and saw how uncomfortable he was I would have said something.  He was already nervous and alone and just wanted to get it over. 

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
8 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

To add to my other comment if he knew enough that he had 4 different nurses  check on him and he said this isn’t a spectator sport.  I’m pretty sure he would know if they told him anything.  He didn’t say I should buy you flowers, take you out to dinner.  Right then there shouldn’t have been any doubt about him being uncomfortable.  The nurse had the opportunity to explain to him what was going on and they didn’t. 

OK so be very clear about this when you have your meeting.  He had several diifferent people check on him to where he started to feel uncomfortable.  No one took the time to explain what they were doing and why.

I really hope this results in positive change.  However I suspect a lot of busy nurses will be thrown under the bus while the status quo is maintained.  Good luck.

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care.
51 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

I’m just seeing this one, sorry.  Do you still need it clarified or are you good? 

I've been less clear on what actually happened each time you offer specifics, but I feel like the wisest answer to your question at this point is that 'I'm good'.  

3
Up Vote Up Vote ×
23 minutes ago, TriciaJ said:

OK so be very clear about this when you have your meeting.  He had several diifferent people check on him to where he started to feel uncomfortable.  No one took the time to explain what they were doing and why.

I really hope this results in positive change.  However I suspect a lot of busy nurses will be thrown under the bus while the status quo is maintained.  Good luck.

He had no problems with the nurses for his colonoscopy at a different facility.   

 

Thanks. 

Up Vote Up Vote ×
6 minutes ago, MunoRN said:

I've been less clear on what actually happened each time you offer specifics, but I feel like the wisest answer to your question at this point is that 'I'm good'.  

The quick version.  The prep nurse didn’t care that he was uncomfortable while getting shaved.  He tried to cup himself and she made the big deal about how it interfered.  He wasn’t shaved that low. He could have been given a towel.   His incision are above the waistline.    After surgery instead of just having the one nurse monitor him he had 4 different ones. Each new one that came in didn’t explain why it was her and not any of the previous ones.  Making him feel more and more uncomfortable.  Once he said this isn’t a spectator sport that should have been a huge clue how uncomfortable it was and arrangements should have been made for just one person to do the follow ups, if not start explaining to him what they were doing.  They showed no concern whatsoever about how he was actually feeling or to put him at ease.   I said before what’s routine for you isn’t routine for your pts. 

Up Vote Up Vote ×
12 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

The quick version.  The prep nurse didn’t care that he was uncomfortable while getting shaved.  He tried to cup himself and she made the big deal about how it interfered.  He wasn’t shaved that low. He could have been given a towel.   His incision are above the waistline.    After surgery instead of just having the one nurse monitor him he had 4 different ones. Each new one that came in didn’t explain why it was her and not any of the previous ones.  Making him feel more and more uncomfortable.  Once he said this isn’t a spectator sport that should have been a huge clue how uncomfortable it was and arrangements should have been made for just one person to do the follow ups, if not start explaining to him what they were doing.  They showed no concern whatsoever about how he was actually feeling or to put him at ease.   I said before what’s routine for you isn’t routine for your pts. 

Hey Catfostermom, 

Im a guy and I 100% agree with your post. 

Anyway, my dear Catfostermom, I am happy to read about a wife like you, who cares about her husbands dignity as a wife should.

I BELEIVE YOU. 

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
3 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

He had no problems with the nurses for his colonoscopy at a different facility.   

 

Thanks. 

A colonoscopy doesn't involve a shave prep or postop checks.  It doesn't even involve that many nurses.  This is an apples and oranges comparison.

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
11 hours ago, SleykRN said:

Hey Catfostermom, 

Im a guy and I 100% agree with your post.Anyway, my dear Catfostermom, I am happy to read about a wife like you, who cares about her husbands dignity as a wife should.

I BELEIVE YOU. 

There is no way in hell a woman having 4 male nurses check on her would be acceptable.  If he was still out he wouldn’t have known. Once they knew he was gaining consciousness this is totally unacceptable.  The way they treated it as the norm without giving how uncomfortable he was getting is unacceptable.  One said a few nurses will be thrown under the bus.  Good, it’ll be my pleasure.  Maybe just maybe they will take a mans view point for a change.  These pts are waking up without family comforting them.  The last thing they need is indifferent nurses.  You bet your *** this would not have gone on if I was in the room with him.  He would have had the one nurse only and the others would have been kicked out before they made it to the end of the bed.  I would hope any wife would be just as pissed off knowing that when her husband was at his most vulnerable he was not treated with dignity.  Even though he isn’t saying much now the point that he isn’t stopping me from pursuing this screams at me. I know he won’t speak up as it took awhile for him to say this isn’t a spectator sport that day, but somebody has to.  Trust me from the answers I have gotten on here, these nurses that think  they are the good ones but protecting the bad ones makes them even worse.  

Up Vote Up Vote ×
31 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

There is no way in hell a woman having 4 male nurses check on her would be acceptable.  If he was still out he wouldn’t have known. Once they knew he was gaining consciousness this is totally unacceptable.  The way they treated it as the norm without giving how uncomfortable he was getting is unacceptable.  One said a few nurses will be thrown under the bus.  Good, it’ll be my pleasure.  Maybe just maybe they will take a mans view point for a change.  These pts are waking up without family comforting them.  The last thing they need is indifferent nurses.  You bet your *** this would not have gone on if I was in the room with him.  He would have had the one nurse only and the others would have been kicked out before they made it to the end of the bed.  I would hope any wife would be just as pissed off knowing that when her husband was at his most vulnerable he was not treated with dignity.  Even though he isn’t saying much now the point that he isn’t stopping me from pursuing this screams at me. I know he won’t speak up as it took awhile for him to say this isn’t a spectator sport that day, but somebody has to.  Trust me from the answers I have gotten on here, these nurses that think  they are the good ones but protecting the bad ones makes them even worse.  

My husband has a male primary, male endocrinologist and he chose a male to do this surgery. Obviously, he doesn’t have a homophobic view point.  Yes, there isn’t as many male nurses.  If any of his Drs were female then I could see where he might have thought too much into this.  The point where if a different nurse came in and said so and so was busy would YOU mind if I checked your incisions, then he was given the option.  But, for them to just come in and say I’m going to check was very unprofessional.  Before any mightier then thou come along and say I wasn’t there how do I know.  I asked him.  Different times, different ways, same answer, never once telling me something different or I don’t remember.  If it didn’t bother him or wasn’t that big of a deal to him he would tell me to drop it and I would.  

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

Numerous off topic posts have been removed or edited. Please remember to keep the Terms of Service in mind when posting. This would include posting to the topic at hand and refraining from divisive posts. 
 

Quote

We promote the idea of lively debate. This means you are free to disagree with anyone on any type of subject matter as long as your criticism is constructive and polite. Additionally, please refrain from name-calling. This is divisive, rude, and derails the thread.

Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.

Our call is to be supportive, not divisive.

 

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Quote

On 5/2/2021 at 9:53 PM, Catfostermom said:

The prep nurse didn’t care that he was uncomfortable while getting shaved.  He tried to cup himself and she made the big deal about how it interfered.  He wasn’t shaved that low. He could have been given a towel.   His incision are above the waistline.    After surgery instead of just having the one nurse monitor him he had 4 different ones. Each new one that came in didn’t explain why it was her and not any of the previous ones.  Making him feel more and more uncomfortable.

If this is your true concern then the higher ups need to know.  They need to be aware that at least one male patient felt uncomfortable being treated in this manner.  As far as the shaving goes, sometimes you have to ask because to be honest nurses perform these types of preparations all the time so they become desensitized to it.  If you do not ask the proper questions before hand and do not speak up he/she may not realize.  Once he tried to cover himself, she should have realized that and just given him a towel to cover the area that did not need to be exposed, and if that is your concern then that does need to be reported.  

Now, that having been said, you will also have to realize that if they were busy there may be more one than nurse checking on the patient.  They have to be sure before release that the patient is ready to be released with no problems.  Sometimes there can be issues that have to be monitored before the patient can be released.  For instance if you have abominable surgery your urine has to be monitored for blood.  

My other question is once they completed their examination did they cover the patient before they the left room and not left him there to be exposed to anyone else who may have come into the room. 

To be honest, I have had experiences at some facilities that I will not return to just because of what I perceived as insensitivity to my and other family members dignity. One comment made to a patient that was a little embarrassed was "We prefer you naked anyway.  Makes our job easier."  Also with that having being said, no one on here can make it any better.  You need to speak with the manager or patient advocate and hopefully this will not happen to another patient whether they are male or female.  This prep nurse may also be upsetting female patients and no one has spoken up.  

2
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.
On 5/2/2021 at 5:36 PM, JKL33 said:

Sometimes you can and sometimes you can't. It's also significantly more difficult to get a read on people when you only have a short amount of time to do it

Her husband immediately cupped his private area when she exposed him. How much more of a clue do you need that he was uncomfortable? 

1
Up Vote Up Vote ×
6 minutes ago, NICU Guy said:

Her husband immediately cupped his private area when she exposed him. How much more of a clue do you need that he was uncomfortable? 

Hello.

I was referring to the post-op nurses who stand accused of coming in check him out for sport.

I've already acknowledged that there are people who don't care/aren't sensitive to maintaining patients' sense of modesty. I don't agree with that. I have described my beliefs and my approach, which is that all patients deserve to have their sense of bodily privacy/modesty regarded and that IMO the best thing to do is to assume maximum modesty is desired unless the patient indicates otherwise.

Not sure what you want from me here. The only thing I have objected to is the unfair mischaracterizations I have already discussed.

3
Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion