Hernia Repair Patient Dignity

JKL33 · May 2, 2021

28 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

Ladies, think about how off putting you are to your male pts when you make those comments.

To what comments are you referring?

I may have more of a comment but I would like to know specifically what you are referring to first.

Catfostermom · May 2, 2021

5 hours ago, JKL33 said:

To what comments are you referring?

I may have more of a comment but I would like to know specifically what you are referring to first.

He got I’m here to shave you, now lift up your gown. How about I’m here to prep you for your surgery, could you lift up your gown. I will make this as quick as possible, here is a towel to cover yourself up. When he tried to cup himself, she said that’s going to be in my way. After he tried to cup himself she should have realized he was embarrassed and didn’t want to be fully exposed and made the effort herself to cover him, especially when SHE knew that the shave wasn’t going to be anywhere near his private parts. There was absolutely no reason why he couldn’t while she shaved the left side of the abdomen then turned her head then recupped himself with the other hand or put a washcloth size towel on him.

During recovery he was “checked” 6 or 7 times by at least 4 different nurses. After the last new one came in he finally said this isn’t a spectator sport. Now reverse this and have a female pt with 4 different males checking on them. Knowing that he was going to be checked so many times why couldn’t they put a towel over him and just left it there? His incisions are above the waistline. Again, you all don’t care if you see the male body, but they care if you see them. I’m just glad he doesn’t remember anything after leaving the prep room.

Whether you are one of the good ones or not all nurses need to understand that it is not normal for men to be fully naked infront of so many female strangers. Also, it’s not just your verbal words that are off putting but your body language and mannerisms as well. If this hernia reoccurs, I may have a hard time getting him back in to have it repaired. One last thing. I’m not the “insecure wife”. I am the POd wife that because of Covid I couldn’t be with him when he really needed me. Should he have said something absolutely. Was he already to embarrassed to say something, absolutely. Lord only knows what type of reaction that would have gotten if he did.

JKL33 · May 2, 2021

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

He got I’m here to shave you, now lift up your gown.

You should contact the facility with whom you have the complaint and discuss this with them. I have been a nurse for quite some time and I have never heard any nurse direct a patient to expose themselves in the manner you describe. I'm not calling your account into question, it's just that strangers on the internet are not the ones who need to hear your complaint.

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

During recovery he was “checked” 6 or 7 times by at least 4 different nurses. After the last new one came in he finally said this isn’t a spectator sport.

No need for the quotation marks. This is where it becomes clear that your own ignorance and self-initiated poor assumptions about others is clouding your judgment. If you want to imply that post-operative monitoring of the surgical site is not legitimate nursing care, no one here can help you and we don't deserve your ire. It sounds very much like you are actually begrudging others for the appropriate (if not better than average) nursing care of your husband.

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

Whether you are one of the good ones or not all nurses need to understand that it is not normal for men to be fully naked infront of so many female strangers.

This is a message that you could deliver without the incorrect, disgusting and insulting implications you have made.

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

One last thing. I’m not the “insecure wife”.

No one has accused you of being such. You're talking to yourself with that one.

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

I am the POd wife that because of Covid I couldn’t be with him when he really needed me.

The nurses who provided care to your husband did not prevent you from being with him. Neither did any of us here.

I understand that not being with a loved one is difficult and I have significant empathy for those who have to endure that. But that does not give you the right to impugn others' character.

Please contact the facility to express your complaints.

Catfostermom · May 2, 2021

7 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

You should contact the facility with whom you have the complaint and discuss this with them. I have been a nurse for quite some time and I have never heard any nurse direct a patient to expose themselves in the manner you describe. I'm not calling your account into question, it's just that strangers on the internet are not the ones who need to hear your complaint.

No need for the quotation marks. This is where it becomes clear that your own ignorance and self-initiated poor assumptions about others is clouding your judgment. If you want to imply that post-operative monitoring of the surgical site is not legitimate nursing care, no one here can help you and we don't deserve your ire. It sounds very much like you are actually begrudging others for the about appropriate (if not better than average) nursing care of your husband.

This is a message that you could deliver without the incorrect, disgusting and insulting implications you have made.

No one has accused you of being such. You're talking to yourself with that one.

The nurses who provided care to your husband did not prevent you from being with him. Neither did any of us here.

I understand that not being with a loved one is difficult and I have significant empathy for those who have to endure that. But that does not give you the right to impugn others' character.

Please contact the facility to express your complaints.

Actually. Yes the nurses are the ones that prevented me from being with him. Checking the incisions is part of post op. But, again he did not need to be fully exposed to so many different nurses. From your replies I can see you are one of the ones that has the least bit of empathy toward your male patients. Have a good day.

JKL33 · May 2, 2021

2 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

Actually. Yes the nurses are the ones that prevented me from being with him.

They don't make up the rules. You know this. No nurse who was at your husband's bedside decided the visitor policy.

3 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

From your replies I can see you are one of the ones that has the least bit of empathy toward your male patients.

I am immune to this kind of rebuttal since you have zero idea what kind of nursing care I prefer to provide. The only thing you can see about me is that I will respond to point out your incorrect assumptions and implications.

You know, if you had written that your husband had surgery recently and felt that his bodily privacy was not maintained to the extent that it could have been and that he felt uncomfortable, then we would have something to talk about.

If you would like to start over and have a real conversation, you are welcome to do so.

Catfostermom · May 2, 2021

23 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

They don't make up the rules. You know this. No nurse who was at your husband's bedside decided the visitor policy.

I am immune to this kind of rebuttal since you have zero idea what kind of nursing care I prefer to provide. The only thing you can see about me is that I will respond to point out your incorrect assumptions and implications.

You know, if you had written that your husband had surgery recently and felt that his bodily privacy was not maintained to the extent that it could have been and that he felt uncomfortable, then we would have something to talk about.

If you would like to start over and have a real conversation, you are welcome to do so.

You asked for how so... I gave you the how so. Not my problem you are taking this personally against you. Some need to step down a notch and see how their actions effect others. A little decency can go a long way. Glad you are telling people how they should think and feel.

JKL33 · May 2, 2021

1 hour ago, Catfostermom said:

You asked for how so... I gave you the how so.

I asked you to give you the benefit of the doubt; I wanted to hear what you had to say rather than assume what you were going to say. You gave the how-so plus your improper assumptions about others.

I became unimpressed when you accused nurses of "checking" your husband, with the implication that they wanted to look at his genitalia for sport rather than professionally monitor his surgical site. I am not the one who is off base here. You can keep trying to personally insult me but I have already told you that I am immune to that. However, I do enjoy talking with patients and families about their concerns and I take them seriously when they mean to express a concern rather than just (attempt to) insult people because they are mad about various things.

I am not telling you how to feel. In fact you have already been invited to express yourself without making assumptions about others and impugning others' character.

JadedCPN, BSN, RN · May 2, 2021

1 hour ago, Catfostermom said:

Actually. Yes the nurses are the ones that prevented me from being with him. Checking the incisions is part of post op. But, again he did not need to be fully exposed to so many different nurses. From your replies I can see you are one of the ones that has the least bit of empathy toward your male patients. Have a good day.

Can you elaborate on how the nurses are the ones that prevented you from being with him, as opposed to it being the policy of the facility due to (as you said earlier) covid?

macawake, MSN · May 2, 2021

11 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

I know this is an old post but since my husband just had hernia surgery,

Since we are in Covid restrictions still, I couldn’t go in with him.

4 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

I am the POd wife that because of Covid I couldn’t be with him when he really needed me.

2 hours ago, JKL33 said:

The nurses who provided care to your husband did not prevent you from being with him. Neither did any of us here.

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

Actually. Yes the nurses are the ones that prevented me from being with him.

? ? ?

2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

From your replies I can see you are one of the ones that has the least bit of empathy toward your male patients. Have a good day.

Thinking that you can judge a person’s character and professionalism based on a few posts on the internet is rather silly. I have every reason to believe that JKL is a good nurse and your baseless accusation falls flat. The fact is that you come off as quarrelsome and that makes me question how serious you are about effecting positive change.

You started an account here and resurrected an old thread. I’m assuming that this is a matter that’s important to you? I’m sorry if your husband was treated in a less than professional and kind manner. But what do you want from us? We weren’t present for your husband’s surgery. Contacting the facility where your husband had his procedure would be much more constructive.

If you are hoping to achieve something positive by addressing random nurses on the internet, my best advice is to remember the old adage about flies, honey and vinegar.

I’m sorry you couldn’t be there when your husband had his surgery. This past year has been pretty crappy. Many patients have had to go without the support and comfort of having a loved one present when hospitalized. It’s been tough.

Catfostermom · May 2, 2021

1 hour ago, JKL33 said:

I asked you to give you the benefit of the doubt; I wanted to hear what you had to say rather than assume what you were going to say. You gave the how-so plus your improper assumptions about others.

I became unimpressed when you accused nurses of "checking" your husband, with the implication that they wanted to look at his genitalia for sport rather than professionally monitor his surgical site. I am not the one who is off base here. You can keep trying to personally insult me but I have already told you that I am immune to that. However, I do enjoy talking with patients and families about their concerns and I take them seriously when they mean to express a concern rather than just (attempt to) insult people because they are mad about various things.

I am not telling you how to feel. In fact you have already been invited to express yourself without making assumptions about others and impugning others' character.

You must be exhausted working in every single healthcare facility in every single country to know how all nurses behave every single shift.

macawake, MSN · May 2, 2021

14 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

You must be exhausted working in every single healthcare facility in every single country to know how all nurses behave every single shift.

Noooo. That’s not at all what I meant when I recommended the ? strategy.. Seriously, what do you hope to achieve by using sarcasm?

Again, why are you arguing with us instead of contacting the facility in question? Only they can educate their employees and talk to them about attitudes and respect if that is indeed needed.