Hernia Repair Patient Dignity

Updated:   Published

Since my husband just had hernia surgery, I have been looking into patient dignity.   He went to a male Dr for the surgery.  When he went into the ACC it was all females.   Since we are in Covid restrictions still, I couldn’t go in with him.  He was very uncomfortable with all the females and thought the attitude of I’ve seen thousands of memberes was totally Unprofessional. He felt that while they did their “jobs” they didn’t care how uncomfortable they made him.  Believe it or not males do not want to expose themselves to you.  Just because some of you don’t care who sees what, others do.  You are so correct about the double standards that females wouldn’t put up with that but males have to.  Ladies,  think about how off putting you are to your male pts when you make those comments.  Males also tend to hide their emotions. But, you bet your butt if I was allowed in and saw how uncomfortable he was I would have said something.  He was already nervous and alone and just wanted to get it over. 

8 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

No but you implied it with your statement and use of quotation marks that 4 nurses "checked" on him in PACU. That is what set the membership off here. It was a gross misrepresentation of what was actually happening and was just...gross. 

Look, we get it. Your husband was treated insensitively and that was wrong in all sorts of ways. If it had been our loved ones we would be pissed off too. But we aren't the ones who did it and we shouldn't be the ones bearing the brunt of your anger. You need to stop with the passive aggressive anonymous emails and talk with the management at the ASC where he had the procedure and then move on with your life. This cannot be good for either of you. I wish your husband a speedy recovery.

Listen,  this is Covid restrictions in place.  He went in alone.  If I was there more questions would have been asked. This NEVER would have happened if I was allowed in. Guys don’t ask questions.  Do you really think they would have told me the truth of what really could happen if I just sent in an email. No they wouldn’t.  As a matter of fact in her reply back never did she mention any of this was a possibility. Only her staff take great strides in keeping all of their pts modesty in tact.  Well guess what she has no friggin clue what her staff does. 

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
14 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

Listen,  this is Covid restrictions in place.  He went in alone.  If I was there more questions would have been asked. This NEVER would have happened if I was allowed in. Guys don’t ask questions.  Do you really think they would have told me the truth of what really could happen if I just sent in an email. No they wouldn’t.  As a matter of fact in her reply back never did she mention any of this was a possibility. Only her staff take great strides in keeping all of their pts modesty in tact.  Well guess what she has no friggin clue what her staff does. 

This is why several of us have advised you to be very specific about your complaint.  If you came across to her like you did here, she is likely to write you off as a kook with an axe to grind.  That's why you got the standard blow-off response.

You were the one who put "checked" in quotation marks.  That implied that they had some other agenda than just postop care.  So is it your assertion that they were being lascivious, or just less than sensitive?

You need to be very clear about this if you want to be taken seriously.

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11 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

You implied it meant something else, not me. 

Everyone here read it the same way and you didn't clarify. I really think any further discussion is of no benefit to you, your husband or the membership. Complain to the people who did the deed not to random people on a site meant for nurses to talk about nursing. 

 

32 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

  Do you really think they would have told me the truth of what really could happen if I just sent in an email. No they wouldn’t.  As a matter of fact in her reply back never did she mention any of this was a possibility. Only her staff take great strides in keeping all of their pts modesty in tact.  Well guess what she has no friggin clue what her staff does. 

Which is why I told you to NOT email them but go have a discussion with them about your experience. Although, at this point I have no idea what your expectations are since you keep flogging people who had nothing too do with your situation.

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31 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

Listen,  this is Covid restrictions in place.  He went in alone.  If I was there more questions would have been asked. This NEVER would have happened if I was allowed in. Guys don’t ask questions.

Your point has been made here.  Yes guys usually don't ask the right questions and they usually will not speak up when they are embarrassed.  A lot of women do the same thing, let's just get this over with.

You have received sympathy and some good recommendations.  This has happened and your husband was upset.  Which in turn, has upset you.  The only thing you can do now is to take everyone's advise, get your ducks in a row, and talk with the patient advocate or manager.  You may never know what the outcome is but something will be done.  Keep this  in mind if someone wants to send you or your family member to this facility and request to be sent somewhere else.  Then talk it over with the doctor and the nursing staff beforehand.

 

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1 minute ago, trytounderstand said:

Your point has been made here.  Yes guys usually don't ask the right questions and they usually will not speak up when they are embarrassed.  A lot of women do the same thing, let's just get this over with.

You have received sympathy and some good recommendations.  This has happened and your husband was upset.  Which in turn, has upset you.  The only thing you can do now is to take everyone's advise, get your ducks in a row, and talk with the patient advocate or manager.  You may never know what the outcome is but something will be done.  Keep this  in mind if someone wants to send you or your family member to this facility and request to be sent somewhere else.  Then talk it over with the doctor and the nursing staff beforehand.

 

We don’t have a choice of where we can go around here.  You have to go where the Drs go if you want a specific Dr.  so if he needs another repair with this same Dr he has to go here again. or look for a new Dr that goes to a different facility. 

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3 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

We don’t have a choice of where we can go around here.

Then stop beating a dead horse here and have a conversation with his physician. 

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4 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

Then stop beating a dead horse here and have a conversation with his physician. 

You could also stop replying. 

 

4 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

Then stop beating a dead horse here and have a conversation with his physician. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Catfostermom said:

You could also stop replying. 

But what would be the fun in that?

On the other hand your response makes it clear that you'd rather just keep snarking at people who had nothing to do with the situation rather than actually effecting change. 

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On 5/2/2021 at 6:50 PM, macawake said:

The fact is that you come off as quarrelsome and that makes me question how serious you are about effecting positive change. 

You started an account here and resurrected an old thread. I’m assuming that this is a matter that’s important to you? I’m sorry if your husband was treated in a less than professional and kind manner. But what do you want from us? We weren’t present for your husband’s surgery. Contacting the facility where your husband had his procedure would be much more constructive. 

If you are hoping to achieve something positive by addressing random nurses on the internet, my best advice is to remember the old adage about flies, honey and vinegar.

 

31 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

On the other hand your response makes it clear that you'd rather just keep snarking at people who had nothing to do with the situation rather than actually effecting change. 

Great minds... ?? 


 

Catfostermom. In your very first post on AN you told us:

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Ladies, think about how off putting you are to your male pts when you make those comments.

In your second post you added:

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Also, it’s just not just your verbal words that are off putting but your body language and mannerisms as well. 


Gee, thanks ?

These were supposedly your very first posts as a new member. No effort made to try to ask posters here how they handle situations like the one you described or ask anyone if they ever make those type of comments... Nope, just you telling the ”lady nurses” how off putting they are ?

That’s why I wrote that I’m having a hard time believing that you were here for any positive reasons.


 

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Specializes in Emergency Department.
1 hour ago, Catfostermom said:

Excuse people who don’t work in the health field not to know the correct terminology of what it is that they do. “Checked on him” is what they did.  You implied it meant something else, not me. 

So... you are not a nurse and you don't understand what exactly is going on in post op care but you feel the need to be abusive and aggressive with nurses on a nursing forum? 

I get that you are upset about something but instead of asking questions and trying to understand about WHY he was seen by so many female nurses you attacked us.

I have had many a procedure over the years, most of them included nurses I knew. I accepted that I am just a patient to them at that point. The best response I received was from one (female) nurse while having a vasectomy, "Oh, I know your face." I thought, "That's great, it's not my face you are looking at." This was said in a theatre with 1 male surgeon and 3 or 4 females all observing the procedure.

"Checking on him" is part of post operative care. If they didn't do it they would be negligent and then you would have something to complain about.

 

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2 hours ago, Catfostermom said:

Never once did I say that he thought it was sexual.

As other posters have pointed out, you didn’t have to use the word ”sexual”. There is no other reason that I can see for using quotation marks around checking, when describing standard postoperative care. You were insinuating something. And I think you know that. When you used the wording ”spectator sport”, that confirmed it.

If your husband had had a thumb arthroplasty and his entire arm had been exposed all the way up to his shoulder, would you have been here claiming that four nurses had been ”checking” his elbow? 

 

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12 minutes ago, GrumpyRN said:

"Checking on him" is part of post operative care. If they didn't do it they would be negligent and then you would have something to complain about.

 

Absolutely agree. 

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