guys, i need your advice with how to deal with a friend who wants to do everything that i do!! it started off with me deciding that i needed a career faster since i had a baby right before my first day of college. i decided to do my prereqs at the university that i attended and than switch to a rn diploma program instead of sticking to the university's bsn program. after i told her this plan, she wants to do it too!! i applied to the school, she applied there too. i applied to another school for a backup plan, she applied there too. decided to volunteer at a hospital, she wants to do it too. i work at the airport, she wants to fill out an application there. got a new car, now she wants one, got a new cell phone, she wants one like mine. i want to buy a pda, she wants one. trust me the list can go on from hair and clothes to babies birthday parties and jewelry. now i am scared to death to tell her anything for the fear of being copied. the school that i want to go to(that i'm still waiting for a letter from)she doesn't even want to go to. she already got her acceptance letter from there and is holding a spot from a person like me that really wants to go. the only reason why she is holding the spot as long as she can is to wait and see if i decide to go the other school (i'm keeping her guessing) this is starting to break my character down. i don't want to seem selfish. i am always trying to encourage and help people out. why do she copy me and is this normal. do any of you guys have friends like this one?
Specializes in med/surg/tele/neuro/rehab/corrections.
It sounds like something you should write to Dear Abbey about!
It's creepy. It seems like she is stealing your energy from you and you would be best to emotionally distance yourself from her.
Have you talked to her yet? What did she say? And if you haven't talked to her yet I would line up all my arguments, then try and figure out what she would say and then line up my counter arguments. I don't think she is going to let go so easily. Good luck and post back!
At class tonight(i just literally got home) I walked in a few minutes late and she reserved a seat for me and flagged me down. I sat there b/c it was one of the only seat available. She had the same exact hairstyle that I had last class and to tell ya the truth, she looked kinda like a chimp with spirals. During the lecture I could feel her looking at me and everytime I would turn to see, she would turn her head real fast. During our PRS quiz, she kept looking at my controller to see which answer I put. During the break, she asked how did I like her hair, and I said it looked just like the same style I had. She said yeah it looked so cute on you so I thought that I would give it a try.(she never did anything new to her and always wore it straight). I told her that she was being a copycat and that she should look for her own individual style. She said, I'm not copying you, we just think alike!! I said well it just seems like whenever I do something, you want to do it too. She said that I have nice ideas and that they way I think is inspirational. I must admit that I was flattered but it still feels kinda creepy. I don't know why she wants to be like. I mean, we all have that one person that we admire every once in while but it doesn't go that far!! I am going to take ya'll advice and try to break away from her slowly but surely!!
I have a friend like that. When a mutual friend got pregnant, she was pregnant too(false alarm). When I switched my major to nursing she started looking into it as well. I started taking classes online and then she applied to the same school. She used to be an architect/engineering major with little interest in the health field. I've mentioned where I want to apply for nursing school at and she wants to follow so I made sure to keep some options to myself. I'm flattered that she wants to do what I do but if she gets accepted to nursing school and I dont I think I'll snap.
Oh good luck!! They say that imitation is the biggest form of flattery and she evidently has put you on goddess level in her brain!! Poor you, nobody can stay there that long!
I hope your chat makes her think about it and I hope you told her you think it is a bit creepy. You may want to talk to the school counselor for advice as this woman may have some severe emotional issues!!
In my polarity training, we called people like her, energy vampires. She truly is draining your energy, and she's doing it because she doesn't know how to source her own for some reason. There are specific techniques for dealing with it on an energetic level.
Please be very careful of your safety. She is not well emotionally or spiritually, and it is harmful for you to be around her as you have already noted. The question is, would she try to harm you in other ways?
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SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN
10,263 Posts
Well, I did that sort of thing when I was 13 and hero-worshipped friends.
I'd really ignore it. It's no skin off your (insert favored anatomy part here), and it makes her happy.