HELP! Threats to call BON!

[Nechic01]

I'm not really sure what to do on this one: Single Female 34 year NP student working my tail off...

I am a full time nurse, also work PRN and I'm in NP school. I placed an ad for a roomate to save money. I pay tuition out of pocket, etc. Purchased my home almost 2 years ago.

I interviewed a middle aged man from the hospital where I'm an NP student and it seemed to be a good roomate fit. He isn't in patient health care services but is a vendor inside the hospital and works for the dietary cafeteria.

He has been living in my home for 18 days. I am rarely home. He begun to call me "baby" and then he started rubbing my shoulders the other day. I was very uncomfortable and let him know, he just ignored it. He also has not paid rent and then hasn't left his room in 6 days. He finally paid rent. I asked him to please leave today, that this just wasn't the right fit, I am uncomfortable around him, etc. He was renting a furnished room.

He demands a refund of his rent due to being angry I asked him to leave.

He threatens to call the BON and tell them I am on drugs and drinking while going to work impaired.

CAN HE DO THIS? WILL THEY INVESTIGATE ME?

All of this is 100% untrue. My finals are coming up, I work full time and then at the school most nights.....I'm panicking at these threats not to mention the stress from this. He says he knows a board member very well and he is going to call her.

Are they truly going to come to my work and investigate? He has never worked with me nor seen me impaired....he's never been a patient of mine, etc. This is all just a bad roomate experience from a creepy middle aged man who is angry I asked him to leave my home.

I cannot find any threads addressing when a lay person just calls the board up and tells them false accusations. He took a picture of a scotch bottle in my liquor cabinet and said this proves I drink and am impaired....utterly ridiculous. It's an opened bottle in my home rarely even used. I'm a normal hard working person, never been in trouble, never failed any drug test or ever gotten a DUI. I've actually never even had a speeding ticket.

I've worked so hard to get to where I am. You have to list on any application if the board has ever investigated you for any reason at all....my work will most likely fire me if there is even an investigation at all. I work f0r the VA government...I had to have security clearance, etc.

HELP!! I can't sleep, my Thanksgiving is ruined with these threats coming through via text.

Lesson learned. Will work 3 jobs and eat Ramen Noodles before ever getting a roomate again....

[MHDNURSE]

I thank you all for the amazing advice, it has helped a lot. I have learned some huge and valuable lessons in life. I inadvertantly assumde others are like us nurses and work a lot and have ethical and moral character. I am trustful and giving by nature.

I'm not so much concerned about doing anything to him as I am protecting what I've worked for. Does anyone know how the BON handles someone just calling and saying such things about a nurse? Any application I fill out asks "has the board ever investigated you" and it's usually a check "yes" or "no" option. This is dooming and I would never want to have to check "yes" just like I have never been terminated from a position and would hate to have that on my resume.

I was browsing the MBON site and it has all kind of info for people wanting to complain and can do so anonymously. It seems to cater to anyone wanting to complain and does not reads this way.

*Do you guys feel the board will investigate (if he maybe even lies and says he's a patient and wants to remain anonymous) or do they need actual information from the caller such as their name and then this info is kept anonymous from the nurse. Do you think the board will actually take blind complaints or do they make the person complaining say prove the patient-nurse connection. Again, he is a lay person and in no way r/t to my job. This is what is keeping me up at night. He knows where I work and what unit I am in so could for sure pretend to be a patient. Will the BON show up to speak to my co-workers? This would be mortifying and I'm contract agency there, I would probably be let go not matter what is fair or right out of this just being problematic, etc.

You could easily prove him wrong in all cases. The hospital data base will show that he was never a patient and he has no leg to stand on because your peers, supervisors, etc. would prove that you are clean, a good employee, etc.

[RNJD65]

I'm an in-house lawyer for a hospital system (and an RN) and handle BON complaints frequently where we get subpoenas from the BON about a specific nurse based on a patient complaint. We've handled them from disgruntled spouses/boyfriends and a few from patients whose complaints were not warranted. In every one of those cases, the BON reviewed the records then closed the case with no action. I wouldn't worry about the BON -- while they are there to protect the public, (at least in my state), they approach this issues knowing that a number of the complaints are not warranted. So sorry you are dealing with this!

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

Immediately report sexual harassment to your employer. If he is a vendor, it is their business.

This is definitely a sexual harassment case.

They will not fire you.

Stop worrying about the BON.

[missdeevah, NP]

1. Report the guy to HR for sexual harassment

2. File a police report just in case of any eventuality. This is to protect you, and to help keep a legal record of events.

3. Please, please change the locks in your house, maybe even invest in an alarm system.

3. Let the chips fall where they may. Good luck in school and work.

[Nechic01]

Thank you so much for posting this info!

[Nechic01]

Wanted to provide an update: I called my BON yesterday. They transferred me to the woman who is the intake coordinator for all complaints coming in. I told her everything that happened. She took his name down and told me she thought it would be fine and that the complaint would come to her first if he makes one. She did not reveal if he has or hasn't thus far. She said if there was any issue she would call me back.

She was very nice and you could tell she was very familiar with hearing everything under the sun.

Thank you for all the information posted. It has been very helpful.

[MsvolsRN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN, EMT-I, EMT-P, APRN, NP]

It sounds like he thought he found a golden goose. He did not have any intentions to pay you. He was going to "use" you but when that did not work, he decided to threaten you. Do check your state law, he may have squatters rights, which means he gets a 30 day notice. You need to start building a case...in nursing if it is not documented...it didn't happen. Make a formal complaint at the police dept. EVERYTIME! Next, most of our hospital insurance offers employee assistance program (EAP). Sometimes, built in to this is free law advice. So check with your HR. Now, as far as the BON, I would call them before he does. I had a patient to threaten me with this after I found out he was acting sexually inappropriately toward our nursing staff. He called....nothing happened. They said he sounded disgruntled and the complaint did not make any sense. Anyway...I hope this helps you. Good Luck, keep us posted.

P.S. Do you have any cop friends that can start hanging around your apartment to "visit"? Another male may do the trick...esp if wearing a badge!

[Ellie G]

Can you record him on your phone?

[jackie10]

The BON is to protect the public from"bad" nurses. They don't work for nurses. The nursing adage applies, document, document, document! And save to have an attorney if you have any correspondence with the BON.

[SurgicalTechCST]

I think you stated it well in your post "utterly ridiculous.

He's mad, cuz you want him out & is just making petty threats to scare you into giving more $$ back. That's my opinion.

Typical egotistical, "I am God's gift to women" blowhard who thinks you're all that and a bag of chips UNTIL you reject his unwarranted, unwanted advances, and THEN you suddenly become all the mean, nasty, unpronounceable things I simply won't repeat by writing them here! He's a single/divorced middle aged man with a Superman complex, and is trying to use his self-appointed male "superiority" to threaten and frighten you into giving him anything he can get from you.

DO CALL THE COPS RIGHT NOW if you haven't already, and get them to advise you on the best way to get this man out of your home immediately. Not having a written, signed lease agreement isn't going to help you, but it won't help HIM either. He's got nothing in writing to back up any claims he could make. And one picture of one liquor bottle does not an investigation make.

Not that he couldn't lie, but I'd try to confirm with him that he does not have a copy of house key, when he returns/returned his key to you.

Do not even attempt to "verify" with him that he doesn't have a key, because he probably does, and he WILL LIE ABOUT IT. Count on it, and have the locks changed immediately. As in have the locksmith out there now. Or when he (the creep) leaves, waiting and ready to go to work, the minute you say go. Even before he's completely out of the premises. Get a restraining order against him too, to establish a legal paper trail to keep him away from you.

Good luck with everything, and keep us posted on how it's going!

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

DO CALL THE COPS RIGHT NOW if you haven't already, and get them to advise you on the best way to get this man out of your home immediately.

Good luck with everything, and keep us posted on how it's going!

She already posted on page two of the thread that the guy is no longer living in her home.

[Financetobsn]

I thank you all for the amazing advice, it has helped a lot. I have learned some huge and valuable lessons in life. I inadvertantly assumde others are like us nurses and work a lot and have ethical and moral character. I am trustful and giving by nature.

I'm not so much concerned about doing anything to him as I am protecting what I've worked for. Does anyone know how the BON handles someone just calling and saying such things about a nurse? Any application I fill out asks "has the board ever investigated you" and it's usually a check "yes" or "no" option. This is dooming and I would never want to have to check "yes" just like I have never been terminated from a position and would hate to have that on my resume.

I was browsing the MBON site and it has all kind of info for people wanting to complain and can do so anonymously. It seems to cater to anyone wanting to complain and does not reads this way.

*Do you guys feel the board will investigate (if he maybe even lies and says he's a patient and wants to remain anonymous) or do they need actual information from the caller such as their name and then this info is kept anonymous from the nurse. Do you think the board will actually take blind complaints or do they make the person complaining say prove the patient-nurse connection. Again, he is a lay person and in no way r/t to my job. This is what is keeping me up at night. He knows where I work and what unit I am in so could for sure pretend to be a patient. Will the BON show up to speak to my co-workers? This would be mortifying and I'm contract agency there, I would probably be let go not matter what is fair or right out of this just being problematic, etc.

Actually, I have a coworker that has been investigated twice by the board for legitimate issues, not bogus ones like yours, and guess what, he still get jobs. They want an explanation of what happened, why it happened and what the outcome was. And as long as you're honest in your answers, and haven't done horrible things, just marking "yes" on being investigated by the board doesn't make you a pariah to employers. I'm just stating this as fact. There are lots of nurses out there working that have been "investigated" by the BON and still have thriving happy careers. Don't let this bully intimidate you by "what ifs" like you have stated, you've done nothing wrong. State laws can vary with tenant/landlord laws and regulations. Before spending a couple hundred dollars on a consult, just google the state laws on tenant/landlord rights. I'm pretty sure that most states, deem a roommate situation without a lease, as an unwanted guest. And if they do not leave when asked, they are trespassing. It will be a case of he said she said in the eyes of the law. He will claim he had a deal with you for a domicile, and you will say that, nothing was agreed to yet and it was a "test" period to see if he was roommate material. He was not, you were more than fair in prorating the rent. Although that might imply that there was a "agreement" of a lease. I would worry about this mans physical Threats to you over his BON threats. Protect yourself.