HELP! Threats to call BON!

[Nechic01]

I'm not really sure what to do on this one: Single Female 34 year NP student working my tail off...

I am a full time nurse, also work PRN and I'm in NP school. I placed an ad for a roomate to save money. I pay tuition out of pocket, etc. Purchased my home almost 2 years ago.

I interviewed a middle aged man from the hospital where I'm an NP student and it seemed to be a good roomate fit. He isn't in patient health care services but is a vendor inside the hospital and works for the dietary cafeteria.

He has been living in my home for 18 days. I am rarely home. He begun to call me "baby" and then he started rubbing my shoulders the other day. I was very uncomfortable and let him know, he just ignored it. He also has not paid rent and then hasn't left his room in 6 days. He finally paid rent. I asked him to please leave today, that this just wasn't the right fit, I am uncomfortable around him, etc. He was renting a furnished room.

He demands a refund of his rent due to being angry I asked him to leave.

He threatens to call the BON and tell them I am on drugs and drinking while going to work impaired.

CAN HE DO THIS? WILL THEY INVESTIGATE ME?

All of this is 100% untrue. My finals are coming up, I work full time and then at the school most nights.....I'm panicking at these threats not to mention the stress from this. He says he knows a board member very well and he is going to call her.

Are they truly going to come to my work and investigate? He has never worked with me nor seen me impaired....he's never been a patient of mine, etc. This is all just a bad roomate experience from a creepy middle aged man who is angry I asked him to leave my home.

I cannot find any threads addressing when a lay person just calls the board up and tells them false accusations. He took a picture of a scotch bottle in my liquor cabinet and said this proves I drink and am impaired....utterly ridiculous. It's an opened bottle in my home rarely even used. I'm a normal hard working person, never been in trouble, never failed any drug test or ever gotten a DUI. I've actually never even had a speeding ticket.

I've worked so hard to get to where I am. You have to list on any application if the board has ever investigated you for any reason at all....my work will most likely fire me if there is even an investigation at all. I work f0r the VA government...I had to have security clearance, etc.

HELP!! I can't sleep, my Thanksgiving is ruined with these threats coming through via text.

Lesson learned. Will work 3 jobs and eat Ramen Noodles before ever getting a roomate again....

[Nechic01]

PS-I even refunded some of his money. He had paid for the month. I pro rated the days and refunded him from the day I asked him to leave. He stated it wasn't enough money. We had no written lease aggreement either. It was verbal and him just looking for a furnished "crash pad" near the hospital...but that't not what happened...

[Emergent, RN]

You probably need to take legal action.

For what it's worth, I had to evict a tenant who was a hoarder. She refused me entrance to inspect the property. I gave her due notice by voicemail, attempting a phone call once a day, 3 days in a row. She wouldn't respond. So, I sent her a certified letter giving her notice.

She sent me a threatening letter, accusing me of harassment and threatening my nursing license, saying "You will never work as a nurse again!”

I hired a lawyer, and the letter was exhibit A. It was a sad situation, she was emotionally troubled. Fortunately, a nice Christian lady helped her move. It was 20 trips to the dump to clean up the place, a firsthand look at a certifiable hoarder.

You need to contact the police, dear. This man is threatening you. Keep the texts, they are evidence. Ask the police for advice. I doubt if he knows anyone on the board of nursing, that is utter horse manure.

[crazin01]

I think you stated it well in your post "utterly ridiculous.

He's mad, cuz you want him out & is just making petty threats to scare you into giving more $$ back. That's my opinion.

It may vary by state, but I believe if there is no written lease, he really doesn't have a leg to stand on. You returned monies to him for the days he is not staying at your house. That's what is fair. I imagine some would even say you keep the entire months rent since he was a jerk and started making moves on you and then gets mad/throws a temper tantrum when he's shot down. As well as him ignoring your statement he was making you uncomfortable by massaging your shoulders.

Not that he couldn't lie, but I'd try to confirm with him that he does not have a copy of house key, when he returns/returned his key to you.

as far as if he actually would go through reporting to the BON, I don't think they would give his accusations seriously, at least i hope that's how it would work. He is not a co-worker/manager that requested a drug screen while appearing impaired while working. He does not work on your floor and the picture of a booze bottle does nothing to back him up.

So, yes he CAN try to report you, but I would hope the BON requires hard evidence to warrant an investigation. Also, I don't know if I'd trust him stating he 'has a friend on the BON'. Give me a break, dude.

I know it's difficult, but I would try to not worry. He's simply puffing out his chest, as men do, to see if you cave in. You clearly made the correct call in kicking him out.

Best of luck with everything. He sounds like a peach...

Good luck on your finals!!!

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

It may vary by state, but I believe if there is no written lease, he really doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Not necessarily. OP definitely needs to check the laws for her state. In some, once possession of a place has been taken, you have to go through a standard eviction process which can last 30 days.

Eviction Process by State | Evictionresources

Not that he couldn't lie, but I'd try to confirm with him that he does not have a copy of house key, when he returns/returned his key to you.

Change the locks no matter what. Safest option. Might also consider changing phone number if you're getting threats via text. But save those texts.

[BiaRN2OT]

Never let a person into your home who you have not thoroughly checked out, know well, etc. when you are a single female living alone. This middle aged man with a full time job "needing a crash pad" near the hospital was suspicious from the jump. He never paid you anything upfront, and HE should have been concerned about a lease not being on place.

I know the BON situation is scary to you right now, but I think this whole situation is a GREAT lesson learned for you about trusting anyone this much off of little knowledge.

Honestly, this guy seems well versed in fear tactics, so call his bluff and call the police on him, possibly a restraining order....honestly just tell him you're taking these steps against him whether you legally can or not. Use his methods against him. He's an awful man and hopefully doesnt do this to anyone else after you're done with him.

I wish you the very best.

[caliotter3]

See an attorney if you feel the need. The expense of obtaining a restraining order could very well be worth it.

[Wile E Coyote, ASN, RN]

I vote you do a bit of online background checking on Mr. Wonderful.

I'll be shocked if you don't find something to leverage against his threats.

This guy sounds like a practiced menace, and you need to be prepared to respond in-kind.

[anchorRN, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Nehchic,

I wouldnt be worried about the BON, I'd be more worried that this guy is a psycho. Get a restraining order. Block his number on your phone.

[Nechic01]

I thank you all for the amazing advice, it has helped a lot. I have learned some huge and valuable lessons in life. I inadvertantly assumde others are like us nurses and work a lot and have ethical and moral character. I am trustful and giving by nature.

I'm not so much concerned about doing anything to him as I am protecting what I've worked for. Does anyone know how the BON handles someone just calling and saying such things about a nurse? Any application I fill out asks "has the board ever investigated you" and it's usually a check "yes" or "no" option. This is dooming and I would never want to have to check "yes" just like I have never been terminated from a position and would hate to have that on my resume.

I was browsing the MBON site and it has all kind of info for people wanting to complain and can do so anonymously. It seems to cater to anyone wanting to complain and does not reads this way.

*Do you guys feel the board will investigate (if he maybe even lies and says he's a patient and wants to remain anonymous) or do they need actual information from the caller such as their name and then this info is kept anonymous from the nurse. Do you think the board will actually take blind complaints or do they make the person complaining say prove the patient-nurse connection. Again, he is a lay person and in no way r/t to my job. This is what is keeping me up at night. He knows where I work and what unit I am in so could for sure pretend to be a patient. Will the BON show up to speak to my co-workers? This would be mortifying and I'm contract agency there, I would probably be let go not matter what is fair or right out of this just being problematic, etc.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

He can do anything he wants. Will The BON and the VA investigate? Maybe.

YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Get a lawyer and block the texts.

Stay strong sister.. and screw that *******.

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

Make sure you keep those threatening texts that he is sending to you.