Heavily Burdened

amoLucia · Jul 31, 2015

Am not a Mom and didn't go your route for schooling. But I would like to offer you some positive vibes, good Karma, best wishes, etc.

I want you to realize that the world's worst drag-down phrase is 'what IF'. So you need to stop pulling yourself down, because I think you and so many others like you are accomplishing something that many of us others haven't had to do. So kudos to you.

Life happens for reasons unknown but you're doing it. Good for you.

windsurfer8, BSN, RN · Aug 1, 2015

Childcare: You chose to have children. Financial Issues: we are all responsible for how we spend our money.

Yes..you do not become an RN overnight. If you are discouraged by the time it takes then I don't know what to tell you. I have my BSN and it took me the same amount of time it takes everyone else. The reason it takes times is you need to LEARN what you are doing. Also you need to show you are committed.

I guess I don't understand what you are discouraged by? If you don't want to do it then don't do it. Nothing you are describing was forced upon you. When things get stressful then hit it even harder. That is all I can say.

RainMom · Aug 1, 2015

I know what you're saying OP. I was the same way except it took me about 10 yrs to finally bite the bullet & jump into school. I kept thinking of reasons why it wasn't a good time or the hurdles that would make it difficult. It's hard not to dwell on lost wages you could be earning because you spend that time in class. Just keep your eyes on the prize & keep working towards your goal. Before you know it, school will just be a memory.

Carolinagirl13 · Aug 5, 2015

Hi, I just wanted to offer you some words of encouragement and let you know you are not alone. Like you I am a 26 year old mother and wife. I have a wonderful daughter that just turned 3 and I am married to my high school sweetheart. I have a previous Bachelor's degree. However, when I attended school previously I could not fully commit to what I wanted out of my career. I also struggled with Rheumatoid Arthritis and multiple knee surgeries during that time. I am now in remission with my rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and now have knees that do not dislocate, which is a huge achievement considering my health 2 years ago.

There have been plenty of times that I have wanted to dwell on what could have been. However, I look back at that time and I realize now that I would not have been able to complete a nursing program during that time period due to my health problems not being under control. I am now going back to school to start on my ADN. I am having to retake a couple of science classes because the program has a 5 year limit on those classes. However, for financial reasons I am choosing the ADN path because it is significantly cheaper and I will be able to set up payment plans so that I can afford to not take out student loans to complete the program. Then, once I have received my ADN I plan to work and attend the bridge program to get my BSN. The ADN program has a bridge program with 2 universities in our state to complete the BSN. Is it going to take me longer to complete? Yes, but it is the only way I will be able to complete the program and reach my goals.

I also work full time right now and I am trying my best to pay down debt so that I can drop down to part time when I start the actual core nursing classes. I know I have rambled on, but I want you to know that no matter the circumstances you can reach your goals. You cannot dwell on the past all you can do is learn from it. If you let it there will always be a reason to not go back to school and you know what that is just life! Only you can reach your goals and you have to be willing to make sacrifices to reach your goals! Good luck and know that you are not alone.

Satori77, ADN · Aug 5, 2015

I am also a wife and mother. I work and go to school. This fall I will finish the last of my prereqs. It has been a long journey. I have been seriously thinking about nursing since 2007, after my son was born. I took a CNA course in 2010. And shortly after started prereqs.

Life has constantly gotten in the way. From childcare issues when my kids were younger to my husband losing his job and now working as an over the road truck driver. I have taken one course at a time, starting and stopping a couple times. Sometimes almost giving up completely.

I am 37 right now, and will be 40 when I finish my ADN. I decided on that over a BSN because of cost and time. Part of me hates the fact that I didn't do this sooner. That I will be 40 when I finally start my nursing career. But I figure, either way I will still be 40. I can either be an RN at 40, or wondering "what-if".

Tex. · Aug 5, 2015

I can tell you that the "what if...should have...could have" thing will make a person mad. Like you, I started out in my 20s with a plan and figured I would be a working nurse early in my adult life. But **** happens, babies happen, marriage and divorce happens. So here we are.

I started (restarted) school @ 37, when my youngest child started K. I finished all the prerequisite for the BSN program, but my local community college was so much more convenient. I could take my kids to school and most days I could pick them up from school. Now doing the bridge to BSN while working. Such a better, more doable option for me. And....side note....I was worried that I would be the oldest person in class (I was not!! Many of my classmates were just like me). Actually, there's something to be said about life experience and the wisdom that comes with it. I honestly think that my age gave me an edge. I've seen more and experienced so much more than those young shoots!

Kudos to you for going back and doing it. And on that note, I will share the best motivational speech of all time..... ;p

JUST DO IT!!!

Shia LaBeouf delivers the most intense motivational speech of all-time - YouTube

Jpeters247 · Aug 6, 2015

Side note, that Shia LaBeouf and that hairstyle was HALARIOUS. Okay....MsRobouste, I have to say that my kids, husband, being a home owner, financial woes or what have you has not been my burden but my motivation. With out them I came to the realization that if they weren't around I would've still been playing around. You know when people have to go through certain things just to get the point, with me my kids, etc needed to be in my life to make me realize and you that we NEED to complete school. We need a husband for the team work that needs to be done around the house, you also NEED to stop looking at the past and take full control of your future. I'm a huge advocate of taking full advantage of things that I'm in control of, and that's your life, career, etc. And MOST OF ALL their has to be someone for me GOD that I rely on.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Aug 6, 2015

I remember grumbling to my mother about whether or not to go through with my desire to go to nursing school with a toddler and plans to have another one. I said "If I do this , it will take 4 years, and I won't get my degree and start working until I'm 33 or 34!"

She replied "How old will you be in four years if you DON'T go to nursing school?"

vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN · Aug 7, 2015

Hello all, I am currently finishing the last of my prereq's and am trying to fight daily discouragement. Let me start by saying I am a 26 year old mom of two, wife and currently working pt as a CNA. I was accepted into a 4 year nursing program but decided not to attend after being falsely informed about what year I would begin in when I would of started attending classes there. So I decided to do the most affordable way and go the community college route. In the meantime I discouraged sometimes do to the time I know it will take for me to finish school as well as thinking about how far I would be by now if I i had begun a few years ago like I intended to. Life happened multiple times so it has delayed my progress. Now that Im on a somewhat right track I still feel hit with issues with childcare, financial issues, etc. I just wanna hear from some mothers that have been in my shoes or are currently in my shoes. How did you stay strong through the uncertain days?

Dear MsRobust, you are not alone. I started this path to become a BSN prepared nurse about 5 yrs ago! I took prereqs, then became a CNA. Continued prereqs. Became a divorced mom of 3 while taking prereqs. Yes, I was really poor for awhile. Oddly enough, that was my motivation to finish. I just knew that once I became a nurse, I'd be able to support my family. I kept taking prereqs throughout this ridiculous time of living in a homeless shelter and fighting against my exes unbased child abuse allegations.

Then I decided that if the opportunity presented itself for me to take a detour from my original plans and become an Lvn, I'd do it, because I needed to earn more money than a Cna earned while working toward my RN.

I did a 1 yr Lvn program, got an Lvn job and continued RN/BSN prereqs.

I was recently accepted to a 1 yr long bridge to RN/ADN program.

After I finish next year, I'll attend an RN to BSN program.

It's taken forever. But it's all been worth it and will be worth it.

I used to just tell myself: baby steps, one foot in front of the other. Don't give up. Just keep going. Setbacks happen, but if you don't give up, you'll get there!!

This has proven true! I'm slowly getting there! You will, too, if you don't give up!

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Aug 7, 2015

Hugs!! I had my first baby while in nursing school (ADN program), had four more and just finished my BSN this past spring. I worked as a CNA while in school and have worked as an RN since. I've done full-time, part-time, ando stayed at home for a year in there. My husband worked several low-paying jobs when we were first married, he went to graduate school, and is now an exec.

All that to say, I get how demanding it can be, and how long a road it feels like.

I love the advice that you'll be 4 yrs (or 2 yrs) older whether you do this or not.

Don't get bogged down by what ifs. It does you absolutely no good. It will only serve to frustrate you. I don't know what your religious/faith/philosophical beliefs are; I'm Christian and of the variety that puts a huge amount of emphasis on God's sovereignty. But hopefully this way of looking at things will help even if you're not a believer: maybe your situation is exactly as it was supposed to be. Life happened and school was delayed. Perhaps your experiences that happened in the past years will end up being an asset. Along that same vein, you are likely wiser than you were straight out of high school. Maybe nursing school would have been too much when your kids were infants, and you wouldn't have been successful. Maybe your children will benefit from the extra time you've had with them up until this start of your nursing journey. Maybe seeing Mama study hard will be a good example for your children (I don't know how old they are of course, but I'm guessing the older one might be in school by the time you're finished.) Maybe you'll make friends and professional connections you wouldn't have met, had you begun at the university years ago. I could go on and on. :yes:

Do one thing at a time. One thing that helps me when working toward a goal is keeping a physical, pen-and-paper to do list. I have a 8.5x11 weekly/monthly planner to keep track of my family's life, even in the age of calendar apps. After the first day of classes, the first thing I do is get out my syllabi and mark down all of my due dates, exam dates, etc on my planner. As the weeks go by, I cross out these tasks as I complete them. Crossing things off of my physical planner with a physical ink pen helps me visualize my progress, which encourages me.

Keep your chin up but your head down, and you'll be an RN before you know it. :nurse:

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Aug 7, 2015

I'm not a mother, yet my path into nursing took years.

I enrolled in a 12-month LVN program in 2004 and graduated in 2005 (age 24). After spending another few years completing prerequisite coursework at a community college while working full time, I enrolled in an LPN-to-ASN completion program in 2009 and graduated in 2010 (age 29).

I enrolled in an online BSN program in 2014 and completed it in 2015 (age 34). My online MSN program is scheduled to start in a week and a half, on August 18th.

So, as you can see, I've spent more than a decade in school on and off. Those of us who are nontraditional students must contend with unique issues that force us to keep on plowing until we see the end result. Good luck to you.